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Captain this cucumber, has seen things, things no man was meant to see.
Me in the bread isle
Me in the red light district
“hear that? crisp, but not dry. A soft crumbling when you give it a gentle squeeze, and a barely audible crackling that continues when you leave it be.”
“anyways enough about my genitals, let’s have a look at this loaf of bread”
As a career produce manager I can confirm that we average about a Spock per minute. Usually elderly, and determined to destroy this year’s crop of peaches from BC.
“It’s like my grand-dad always told me… If ya don’t squeeze the peach in’ta noodles it might not be a real peach. Ya doin’ the next guy a favah…”