Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a bait or any kind of bad-faith devaluing or stereotyping. This is only based on my experience, hearing similar stories from others and wanting to understand. I’m aware that there are good and bad people everywhere.

So I’m European and starting on a good note I always admired America for many things like the freedom, diversity and cool movies.

But after more experience with meeting real Americans I noticed this personality type that I and I think many other non-Americans would describe as arrogant.

Like I stated before I’m not saying every American is like that and I know there are many very nice Americans. But I often saw that some Americans seem to only be nice on the surface (if at all) but actually seem to have this attitude of “I don’t give a f about you”. And I know that America is a very individualistic culture that focuses on the self and the belief that everyone can achieve anything on their own.

But I still think having a sense of empathy and sensitivity towards others is a very important core human quality that everyone should have. And from personal experience and also from a very prevalent notion of others both in every day life and when looking it up online it’s clear that many non-Americans perceive many Americans to cross a line there.

For example there’s a prevalent observation of Americans visiting other countries and acting like they own the place by being very loud, demanding and not accepting if things aren’t the same way as they are in America.

We know that Americans have very big issues with divisiveness and social injustice and it seams like there’s also this sort of “ghetto” personality including trash-talking, lots of vulgar slang and slurs and bragging.

And a general perception of money playing a big role as if many Americans judge someone’s worth by money and this attitude of not feeling like needing to help someone. I think there’s this famous description of a person lying in the middle of the ground in a public city and people just walk around the person not feeling the need to help.

It almost feels like they’re very entitled and put their ego up way higher than it actually is and lacking the quality of making themselves smaller/putting themselves second to treat others with more dignity.

  • marshadow@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    Others have already pointed out that we’re indoctrinated into the myths of American exceptionalism and rugged individualism from a young age. I very much agree, but those myths are only part of it.

    That indoctrination, combined with our lack of safety nets, shows up as a hypercompetitive attitude. (“It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there.”) We feel pressured to be the very best so we might earn the privilege of feeling secure and stable. Trash-talking and bragging are hamfisted attempts to portray high status.

    If you look at our social injustice issues through that lens, the injustice makes a certain kind of disgusting, antisocial sense. One who’s internalized the hypercompetitiveness will look at someone lying in the middle of the ground in a public city and think: they just aren’t trying hard enough, they just couldn’t compete. We look to others’ misfortunes for reassurance that we’re good enough, that we’re at the front of the pack. To make oneself smaller, to put oneself second, becomes unthinkable. (“Second place is first loser.”)

  • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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    1 day ago

    theres some confirmation selection bias in that most americans will never have the ability to travel abroad. so the group youre interfacing with are the more entitled, wealthier class which is also a much smaller contingent of americans.

  • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    US citizen here, sounds like you have already figured it out:

    And I know that America is a very individualistic culture that focuses on the self and the belief that everyone can achieve anything on their own.

    This goes deep into the heart of the matter. A good portion of the population has been propagandized for literally decades that every man is an island and reliance on others is “pussy shit.” There is no conception of society. No one wants to fix society, they all want to become rich so the rules of society just stop applying to them.

    Temporarily embarrassed millionaires billionaires and all that.

    For those of us with empathy and understanding of how economics and international relations actually function, let me tell you, it is a nightmare on our mental health. It has been that way long before Trump, too, I remember how viciously we wasted the world’s outpouring of compassion after 9/11. In response to that compassion we went and swung around our big military dick in the middle east and wrecked millions upon millions of lives. It is a daily endless gaslighting by society that caring about people makes us weak. We often are literally denied opportunities to thrive because we aren’t following the right “script.” We will be passed over for jobs in favor of nepotism and social connections.

    Like literally the entire fraternity/sorority culture in the US is and always was for forging early business connections so you can be a useless fucking loser but still rise to the top.

    That culture has lead to the worst, dumbest, and least competent running the entire fucking country.

    A lot of days it really feels like it would just be easier to let this system fucking kill me and let it win just to get it over with.

    Somehow, though, people like me continue living out of spite for what America is and what it represents.

  • ERROR: Earth.exe has crashed@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    24 hours ago

    But after more experience with meeting real Americans I noticed this personality type that I and I think many other non-Americans would describe as arrogant.

    Where did you meet them?

    Tourists are usually only rich people who can afford traveling around the world.

    Regardless, Nationalism is an idea almost universally taught in every country. I was born in People’s Republic of China and National Anthems, Flag Raising Ceremonies are a common thing. Chinese movies were all WW2 war movies portraying the CCP in a posiyive light. Similar to Americans with the Pledge of Allegience, National Anthem, and American movies also portraying the US in a positive light.

    People grow up with nationalism, and of course feel very arrogant because they are part of a powerful nation, so they feel superior. And the US military bases all around the world probably make them feel like they own the world, especially if the Americans you were talking to were rich tourists.

    America is a very individualistic culture that focuses on the self and the belief that everyone can achieve anything on their own.

    Yes this is a thing I’ve noticed when I immigrated to the US. Apparantly parents in the US like to kick out their kids at 18, or sometimes at 16, and kids really want to run away from parents for some reason, even though its a very bad form a financial standpoint. In many Asian cultures, you aren’t expected to move out until marriage.

    People in western cultures seems very anti-mask, where as in Asian countries (even the Democratic ones), they are much more willing to wear a mask.

    But I still think having a sense of empathy and sensitivity towards others is a very important core human quality that everyone should have.

    Empathy isn’t just lacking in Americans, but all around the world. But of course, western individualism is only making that aspect worse.

    • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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      21 hours ago

      Tourists are usually only rich people who can afford traveling around the world.

      That’s an excellent point. A lot of people are getting their impression of Americans from those of us who are likely conservatives, and therefore the least likely to show any humility or empathy.

  • NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    I have observed a huuuge difference in this regard between the Usamericans that I have met in real life (when they have moved to Europe) and the ones that I have met online because they still live there.

    So, one part of the arrogance comes when they have never seen the world, but talk about it as if they knew it.

  • stoly@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

    The US suffers deeply from cultural narcissism where a significant number of people believe that their needs are more important than the needs of others.

  • cabbage@piefed.social
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    20 hours ago

    There are good replies here already, but I just want to emphasize the role of bragging. It seems boasting about yourself is quite accepted and sometimes perhaps even expected in the US. In Europe it is not at all, and we tend to react strongly to it.

    Whenever I’ve found Americans to be insufferable they’ve always been bragging or taking themselves too seriously.

    Not all Americans obviously. And I guess a lot of Americans can’t stand these people either. But it’s still a common American trait that very few Europeans will have patience for. Even our narcissists have learned to pretend to be humble.

    • XiELEd@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      Yeah, my mom and I (in the Philippines) saw an American talk about having lots of money quite loudly in a shopping mall. We were put off.

  • ExtremeDullard@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 day ago

    Because the American culture has indocrinated Americans to put themselves first. Whoever has “me first” hard-coded in their personality tends to view everybody else as inferior, and tends to have an unwavering confidence in their own greatness.

  • hotspur@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    American culture, partly because of bullshit mythos and partly because of religious like devotion to oligarchic capitalism, selects for low-empathy sociopaths and individual atomization/isolation. My favorite low end example is to observe my fellow citizens driving when I go to the suburbs: you are in their personal story, and you are in their way. City living doesn’t fix all that, but having to live in close proximity to neighbors and get used to compromise helps push a slightly more communal vibe.

    But basically the entire culture is built around a get-yours-first mentality? And more recently an influencer-inflected sort of hyper-real understanding of one’s value and potential. We’re like a national exemplar for the dunning-Kruger effect, or like kids who cheat at online video games swaggering around proud of their “achievements”.

    Seems like we’re in the finding out phase after fucking around though.

  • neidu3@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    I wouldn’t say arrogant, but I’ve worked with a lot of Americans, and there’s something most of them have in common. I can’t quite put my finger on what, but it’s in the vicinity or arrogance. I simply don’t have the necessary English vocabulary to explain it properly.

    In short, I’ve found that most of them likes to swing their dick around and pull rank, even if someone else clearly has a better approach/solution/suggestion. This is far from unique to americans, but it seems more prevalent compared to the other nationalities I’ve worked with.

    • TheFeatureCreature@lemmy.ca
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      1 day ago

      They have a tendency to be cocky, headstrong, and ignorant of the greater world and people around them.

      I have lost count of the amount of Americans I have met and spoken to that think them and their country are the centre of the universe. And I don’t mean that in a mocking or mean way - many of them were amazingly nice people but they legitimately did not know any better.

      • dcpDarkMatter@kbin.earth
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        1 day ago

        I think a lot of ignorance of other countries and people are tied into how big the US is. it’s basically as if all of Europe was one country, had a shared, baseline culture, and everyone spoke the same language.

        Over in Europe, you can travel through multiple countries, each with their own shared history, language, and culture, each distinct from another - all in the same day.

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          More perspective on how big it is: You can drive 12 hours and not make it out of California. And our rail system is pitiful, meaning many people don’t travel anywhere they can’t easily drive or affordably fly.

      • neidu3@sh.itjust.works
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        11 hours ago

        Maybe, but not necessarily in a good way. Unfounded, to the point of cocky, I think.

        More than once have I had to say something along the lines of “Yeah, we know, you’re not the first to suggest this. There’s a reason why we don’t do that.”

        …and, again, not exclusive to Americans. But definitely more common.

    • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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      1 day ago

      UK does have a special hate for the poors and yes US models it on it and adds but UK version is the OG disdain for the less fortunate

  • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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    1 day ago

    Americans seem to only be nice on the surface (if at all) but actually seem to have this attitude of “I don’t give a f about you”

    Nailed lol… an American wants people to like him while he screws you over.

    Example archetypes: CEO, Billionaire, Manager,

    For example there’s a prevalent observation of Americans visiting other countries and acting like they own the place by being very loud, demanding and not accepting if things aren’t the same way as they are in America.

    That’s just poorly socialized people though. We hear of other countries tourist behaving poorly all the time… Russia and China for example.

    “ghetto” personality including trash-talking, lots of vulgar slang and slurs and bragging.

    I guessing you never met a British lad after a few pints haha

    And a general perception of money playing a big role as if many Americans judge someone’s worth by money and this attitude of not feeling like needing to help someone

    I am pretty every one is like this, it is human nature, some people are better at controlling it OR

    masking it which ties into the first quote of this post.

    Overall i think you called it right at first but examples you are providing is just shiti behavior people over all but it does support the original premises that Americans want to be liked while fucking you over.

    I think it comes from the propaganda we consume that essentially say:

    If you fuck people over to get paid, you are still a good person and other people must respect your “achievement”

  • ElcaineVolta@kbin.melroy.org
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    1 day ago

    the american populace at large is deeply arrogant; not only that but also incredibly ignorant. it’s this noxious blend that is not only really popular to personify, but often lauded for doing so as loudly as possible.

  • magnetosphere@fedia.io
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    23 hours ago

    I think a lot of it comes from being the military and economic superpower of the world. We Americans must be an exceptional people, since we are so powerful in so many ways! (Please, feel free to add as much sarcasm as you feel is necessary to the previous statement, but remember that a lot of people say that with almost religious seriousness.)

    Not enough people take geography into account, either. It has had a major effect on American society and our attitude towards other countries. We Americans have rarely needed to share. Our country is almost as big as, and quite isolated from, all of Europe. Our neighbor to the north largely speaks English, and is culturally quite similar to us. Our neighbor to the south has a culture worthy of admiration, but they are not seriously respected by most Americans.

    That’s it. Two neighbors sharing borders with mainland USA. On the east and west, we have huge coastlines on two of the world’s largest oceans.

    The most serious military threats to America were caused by countries an ocean away, and they were ultimately unsuccessful. Don’t forget our civil war… but even through all that, the government survived (and I’m glad it did, because we were basically fighting against people who wanted to uphold the right to keep slaves. Sure, you can argue that I’m oversimplifying things, but I’m not wrong). Add to that the concept of Manifest Destiny. People sincerely believed that it was GODS WILL that we conquer the land all the way to the Pacific, natives be damned.

    Americans have believed in American Exceptionalism for about as long as America has existed. I can’t blame people for having a view that was drilled into their subconscious, but I can (and do) blame us when we’re insensitive dicks about it.