Sorry, but unless you REALLY want to be a parent, parenthood can be its own special kind of hell. Subtract social support, or even exacerbate it with a society unafraid to be hostile or cold toward children, or, more likely, parents, in public spaces, and it’s a recipe for childlessness. While the children can, and do, offer special and genuine comfort and joy, they also bring a relentless onslaught of tedium and obligations. Some people live for it and can’t imagine a life without it, and good for them, but others, especially the reluctant parent to an enthusiastic, or perhaps just momentarily naive, partner, have trouble living with it. It’s hard for me to fathom what a single reluctant or resentful parent must feel.
If a society wants net positive reproduction, it really needs to step up its incentive and support structures, otherwise the responsibility of producing for the most naturally self-centered beings in existence within a selfishly competitive society just isn’t worth it. Just my own cynical opinion as a reluctant, and probably pootly suited, parent. And I don’t at all intend to sound judgy toward children for being self-centered; I recognize it’s a normal stage of development, which does help take some of the edge off of it as a recipient.
I have next-to-zero basis to judge a sinocentric view of reproduction or child rearing, as I’m in a completely different part of the world and whose time in China is better counted in hours than days or weeks.
I love being a parent, and I loved having kids. But yeah, it’s tough if you aren’t into it.
You have lucky kids :)
What a surprise, it’s too expensive to have kids. The solution? Give women childcare and flexibility to keep working. And tax incentives.
At least that’s what they’re proposing. Not nearly enough, but none of the crazy stuff you see from right wing nationalists (criminalising abortion, banning divorce, removing access to contraception, etc).
It doesn’t really matter what incentives you give for maternity leave if people do not feel that childhood and adult life are worthwhile experiences.
But it gives those that do a better reason not to hesitate. I would love 4 kids. No way I could afford it.
Yes, but the issues facing many countries with declining populations is the extreme lack of free time outside of work to actually pursue relationships and other forms of self-realization.
I am not stating that maternity benefits shouldn’t be done, I’m saying that maternity benefits are not going to increase countries’ declining populations. The issue is not just with taking care of the child, it’s with everything before and after as well, and maternity benefits only impacts the portion during child rearing.
