Title.
Public school. Everyone hated me, I never made any close friends, I was almost killed by my classmates more than once. One time I was pushed down the stairs another time I was shoved in front of an oncoming bus. I’ve become permanently depressed and have deep trust problems because of it. Years later when I was holding someone I loved in my arms as we fell asleep watching something together I realized that I felt happy for the first time in my life. Before then I had felt amused, vindicated, or excited but never happy. It’s such a strange thing to realize that you’ve never been happy once in your entire life and had just never realized because you had no way to know what you were missing.
I relate to your feelings. In my twenties I took a small dose of mushrooms and had that same epiphany. It actually lasted for a few years and I was hopeful but then people still fucked with me. Now I’m back to being numb constantly. I hate when there’s a school shooting or some kid whyling out and society actually has to ask why? Society creates the people it hates.
Getting downvoted in the Fediverse.
Out of curiosity and bc I wanted to know what kind of person would comment this, I took a look at your profile. Honestly, I’m mostly just confused. Mostly you seem like an asshole but your politics are an enigma to the extent that I am assuming you to simply be contarian.
You brought that on yourself
Not sure, I’d have to say it’s a tie between having my hometown sunk into chaos by the classic tabloid treatment, accidentally contributing to the first human tragedy of someone close to me I’ve had to hear about, witnessing my only friends’ families tear apart by legal forces, assault and stuff at the psych ward, being kidnapped once, and overall people targeting me for various reasons.
American?
Not natively. Which part seems like an American thing?
Most of it. Ime America is lawless and law and order is just there for show and power leverage.
I didn’t know kidnapping and psych ward assault of all things were expectable in America.
They’re not.
I don’t understand what is meant by “Classic Tabloid Treatment”. Is it like slander about the town, or like when tourist spot shows up in newspapers and there’s crowds of people that show up in town?
I was a delivery driver once, I loved the job. Until they made us follow their crappy routing system called “ORION”. Problem was you can’t implement it in real world settings. Since we were forced to follow it, I argue it put our personal safety at risk due to increased turns and overall time driven. Quit because I’m not dying over it. But it was the most frustrating, hellish thing I ever had to do.
I was looking for a spot to watch my brother go by in his first Ironman while he was dieing at the hospital.
Omg what happened to him? If you want to share.
They say he didn’t fall off of his bike,because he didn’t have any scrapes or scratches. So at some point he didn’t feel well and got off of his bike and sat down. Someone saw him fall over and a off duty officer, that was helping with traffic, started CPR. He died at the hospital. I was trying to find him with the Ironman app,and looking at Google maps. It got to a point where I thought that the Ironman app wasn’t working because his marker wasn’t moving,and I was getting frustrated. Had a spot picked out and just as we got there a nurse called me and told me what happened as far as they could explain. Still not sure what exactly happened because I wasn’t able to go to that meeting. And now I’m too afraid of bringing it up to those who were. It was just this past year in Madison. He was my older brother and he is the latest. My father, step-dad, one of my best friends, and now my brother. I have lost almost all of my father figures in 5 years. Having a large family is a blessing and a curse.
I send you my compassion…
Going with my father to figure out how we would clean up the bathroom my grandfather attempted suicide in as I didn’t think it was something he should do on his own (it was my maternal grandfather but still…). I was right. It made every horror movie look tame. However, it was so terrible that there wasn’t much we could do other than phone crime scene cleanup and stay out of their way while they earned every single penny of their fee.
Blood?
who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?
I’ll just go with a tame one (Edit: I have a lot to pick from and most are really hard to put into text due to the trauma)
My firsthand experience with police brutality
For context I was 15 at the time and still in highschool
When I was homeless I slept on some benches in my hometown and one night I slept on the bench behind the local library because it was one of the few that was covered and it was raining that day.
I was woken up by being tazed by a police officer.
He was screaming and I couldn’t do a damn thing because I was getting tazed.
After finally falling off the bench he stopped but was screaming that he could kill me and leave my body in the woods (the town is basically right on the border of a national forest) and no one would find me.
He was screaming that if I didn’t leave he would.
I took off like a bat out of hell.
He followed me with his car from a distance for a while before finally taking off in a different direction. When he took off I stopped walking down the streets and made my way to my school through less conventional means and slept there that night under one of the buildings.
Edit 2: For anyone curious, I was homeless for 8 years. I’ve got a nice place now and I’m back on my feet.
That’s awful. I’ve seen some cops tuck their tails. It’s just a paycheck for them or even worse a power trip like you’re case.
Are you American?
Yup, I’m American
Small Town cops are a special kind of power tripping bastard
Basically think of an area that is really red already and then the people who are those people’s bullies become cops
Testicular torsion. As a teenager, I woke up early in the morning with the worst back and stomach pain I had ever felt in my life. I remember thinking I might be sick, vomiting, then passing out from the pain. My parents found me later that morning because I was delirious and moaning. They took me to the hospital and it was fixed.
Just kidding! My parents are shit bags so they told me I just had the flu and I was being dramatic. After my testicle swelled up to over double the size later that day, they called our family doctor who said I probably had a hydrocele and he’d look at it when he got back from vacation. For the record, mine was textbook testicular torsion, my doctor was as idiotically negligent as my parents.
The pain again became excruciating that evening and I was exhausted from lack of sleep, so I started yelling and demanding my parents take me to the hospital, which they did the next morning. There was TV to be watched, they couldn’t bother with taking care of their children. The ER determined my testicle was quite dead. Surgery was scheduled for that evening and I’ve had one testicle since. Get fucked, mom and dad.
Damn, your parents were S+ tier assholes.
I don’t have children, but I have niblings and my heart goes to my throat every time they fall down or get a bruise, I can’t even imagine letting my child stay in pain for anything.
I hope you’re better now.
Your parents suck.
Agreed. I’ll never understand why people who don’t actually want children have children.
Free senior caretakers.
Pretty expensive way to get free labor
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Oh man. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I’ve seen the footage and it’s heart breaking. I know what it’s like to deal with wild stuff like that. Keep your head up. Other people’s actions aren’t your’s.
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This thread really makes me appreciate how good I have it…
Being sexually assaulted. I feel like in terms of things that are top tier awful experiences I would probably rank any unwanted sexual experience worse than pain or death.
I’ve been manipulated by people. I was of age though and kind of too depressed to care because I live in a shitty small town. My sexual manipulation wasn’t as bad as some other stuff people go through though. I’ve been manipulated hard in a non sexual way. So many kids go through shit some adult literally can’t even fathom. It’s sick. Even as an adult people don’t get it.
I remember an older guy that weighed probably 250 laying on top of me doing stuff and I couldn’t move. He shoved poppers in my face. I was so depressed and dead feeling back then I didn’t care. I felt like I was in a movie. looking back that person obvious would get me liquored up and have his way. It hurts to know someone would actually act like that in real life. On the other side of things… No regular people in my life gave me a minute. No one cared for me. It’s fucked to think that same guy did more for me than regular friends or family. Everyone else would have just sat back and watched me and egg me on to kms. Because everyone else I knew were just naive, entitled, and privileged.
That is terrible to read, I hope you are doing better now though
Being robbed late at night on a deserted street fucking sucks.
Yeah even just having shit stolen from you feels so rapey. It sucks.
I’d probably avoid describing it as rapey since that word has a specific meaning - but it absolutely felt like a violation.
In this specific case my phone was stolen while I was moving luggage, I felt a hand drag my phone out of my chest pocket (and, for reasons, I really dislike unexpected physical contact) and then two folks fled on a scooter in front of me. My phone is pretty fucking worthless except it had a few gigabytes of photos I hadn’t been able to backup… it felt like a futile and pointlessly destructive act.
Marriage. Don’t get married. I am not kidding. Tie yourself inextricably to someone and discover hell.
I don’t know about “evil” because I don’t really subscribe to the Christian good vs evil. Yeah there are people out there who do terrible awful things, but generally speaking the most “evil” things come as a consequence of our amoral decisions.
We decided in the US that cars should be the primary method of transportation back in the 50s in order to stimulate the growing car manufacturing industry. That decision now results in nearly 50,000 people a year dying in car accidents.
We are not much different from the Mayans sacrificing victims in order to bring rain. We do the same thing, but for a different ideological purpose.
This is, in my opinion, much more dangerous and harmful than “evil”. Sadists come and go but institutions and ideology remains.
Having said all that, I’ve been robbed & beaten. I’ve been through heroin addiction. I grew up as an illegal immigrant.
All of those ultimately shaped who I am today, but there were definitely difficult moments. Life is complex though and I think “evil” had nothing to do with the most traumatic and painful events in my life.
dating in general