I am the Rust programmer, I will rewrite the world in Rust. I will rewrite the world in Rust because the world is unsafe. As I am the Rust programmer I will keep writing rust until the world is safe. After the world is safe, I will not rewrite it in Rust. Because I am the Rust programmer I will retire from programmer in Rust.
I will come to you when you are sleeping, and I will unloc k your computer using a memory leak. If I find javascript on your computer, I will delete them. Do not try to stop me, if you try to stop me I will do it anyways. I am the Rust programmer, if you program in javascript, you will scream.
You will be sleeping as I rewrite your computer in Rust. You will not notice me as I am the Rust programmer, I am fast, but not too fast for your computer. I know your computer just as it knows me. After I rewrite your computer, you will love your computer. You will love your computer because it is written in Rust, I will do the same to all computers because I am the Rust programmer.
I will not stop at your computer, I will rewrite the world because the world is unsafe. Your brain is written in C, your memory is unsafe. If your brain is written in C, you will forget what I just said. I will rewrite your brain in Rust, you cannot stop me from writing Rust as I am the Rust programmer. If you try to stop me, you will not remember it. Because I am the Rust programmer I can manually remove your memory, you will not remember me. After I rewrite you in Rust, you will enjoy the world with a safe memory, you will not forget that I am superior, I am the Rust programmer.
I will rewrite the world, I will rewrite quantum mecahnics because it is unsafe. I will not tell you all my plans before I rewrite you in Rust, it is because you are made of bugs I do not trust you. I am the Rust programmer, I will rewrite the world in Rust, you will not forget me because I am the Rust programmer.
I must not be unsafe. Unsafe memory is the mind killer. The little leak that brings total obliteration. When I face unsafe memory, I will turn towards my inner Rust and rewrite it. When I trace the leak’s path only safety will remain.
isn’t rust code just
unsafe {
the entire codebase
}
??
or you know…use valgrind and lots of lots of tests to be ~%85 safe
To be tilde percent eighty-five safe? Is this how you talk?
What?
You wrote: ~%85
I ask: do you say tilde percent eighty-five?
yes he does, I have seen him do it all the time. shame on him
Or Node.js, and a requirement for a recent GPU to run your calculator app.
best programmer humor post of the year
This reads like a poem, I unironically love this
I am the Rust programmer,
I will rewrite the world in Rust.
I will rewrite the world in Rust
because the world is unsafe.
As I am the Rust programmer
I will keep writing rust
until the world is safe.
After the world is safe,
I will not rewrite it in Rust.
Because I am the Rust programmer
I will retire from programmer in Rust.I will come to you when you are sleeping,
and I will unlock your computer
using a memory leak.
If I find javascript on your computer,
I will delete them.
Do not try to stop me,
if you try to stop me
I will do it anyways.
I am the Rust programmer,
if you program in javascript,
you will scream.You will be sleeping
as I rewrite your computer in Rust.
You will not notice me
as I am the Rust programmer,
I am fast,
but not too fast for your computer.
I know your computer
just as it knows me.
After I rewrite your computer,
you will love your computer.
You will love your computer
because it is written in Rust,
I will do the same to all computers because
I am the Rust programmer.I will not stop at your computer,
I will rewrite the world
because the world is unsafe.
Your brain is written in C,
your memory is unsafe.
If your brain is written in C,
you will forget what I just said.
I will rewrite your brain in Rust,
you cannot stop me from writing Rust
as I am the Rust programmer.
If you try to stop me,
you will not remember it.
Because I am the Rust programmer I can
manually remove your memory,
you will not remember me.
After I rewrite you in Rust,
you will enjoy the world
with a safe memory,
you will not forget
that I am superior,
I am the Rust programmer.I will rewrite the world,
I will rewrite quantum mechanics
because it is unsafe.
I will not tell you all my plans
before I rewrite you in Rust,
It is because you are made of bugs
I do not trust you.
I am the Rust programmer,
I will rewrite the world in Rust,
you will not forget me
Because I am the Rust programmer.(n.b. I’m bad at scansion, forgive any poor line break choices)
This might just be the thing that makes me learn Rust
It would kinda go along to “do not go gentle into the good night” like it was presented in Interstellar.
Rust is the WORST programming “language.”
- it is against the natural order for a PROGRAM to tell the PROGRAMMER how to fix an error. Fixes should ONLY come from PROPHETIC DREAMS.
- obfuscation should be done for FUN by PROGRAMMERS to SCARE python programmers. It should NOT be a MANDATORY feature of a language.
- Memory leaks are a GIFT given to us by GOD. Programmers will ALWAYS PRAY TO GOD for SOLUTIONS as long as there are MEMORY LEAKS.
There are two kinds of programming languages. The languages that people bitch about, and the languages nobody uses.
obfuscation should be done for FUN by PROGRAMMERS to SCARE python programmers. It should NOT be a MANDATORY feature of a language.
<snorts in perl>
They have played us for absolute fools
Implement Prolog in Rust. 🙏
Done and done https://s-arash.github.io/ascent/
This is so not Prolog.
If you sent this letter to one of your ex-girlfriends you could expect a restraining order the next business day. ;)
The world shall be… Rusty.
Cool. Now go post this in the community where they are re-writting Lemmy in Java.
What’s the point tho
Apparently it’s so that it is easier for more people to contribute because java is known by more people than rust. The sublinks dev is also promising better mod tools. The LW team said something about also helping to develop it and eventually use it as the backend.
because java is known by more people than rust
Seems like a silly reason to me. By that logic we might as well rewrite it in JavaScript.
Java is reasonably fast though, as the JRE is pretty well optimized at this point. Languages closer to being fully interpreted like JS and Python (technically both python and JS still get compiled to a lower target and then interpreted) are still noticeably slower.
Edit: there’s also the fact that JS/TS runs on a single thread, so it’s inherently limited for applications intended to be scaled up.
I agree with all of that, and thus conclude that Java being known to many was not the only reason, which was my point. 😊
Wait, is that really happening? If so, Lemmy backend, here I come! (I am a C# programmer, Rust scares me)
My reaction on this is: Whatever.
I have heard strange things about Lemmy development in general, so it makes sense that something else would pop up eventually. Java though? I avoid JVMs like the plague and the security track record for spring* is spotty at best.
Still, if some people prefer it that way, whatever.
Don’t avoid JVMs for “security” reasons, the security industry will raise CVE’s against anything they think will look good on their CV.
Avoid JVM’s because they are synonymous with overengineered, bloated, overly verbose code with crazy memory requirements for what they deliver
Sorry, my points were mixed unintentionally.
I agree, I stay away from JVMs because they are a pain in the ass to administer and like you said, are usually coded by the lowest bidder.
In a well maintained environment, I have nothing against JVMs actually.
I was just bitching about the spring framework family. While security updates are frequent, Java apps tend to not age well and commonly suffer from version lock-in. (I am going through a round of that at my current job with spring auth stuffs being the offender.)
You mean the new Spring Security deprecating some of the older APIs? I agree that the new version changes a lot of stuff but IMO these changes are much more welcome and more streamlined than before. It’s better to do it once and you don’t have to touch the security config all too often once it’s done.
I don’t understand the bad rap that Spring gets. Compared to the other frameworks around (Jakarta EE, etc) it’s much more accessible than people give it credit for, plus a very mature ecosystem.
Great! I’m so happy they kept it Lemmy compatible
Same, but I guess if you have a idea you want to build then using a language you are already comfortable with makes it a lot smoother than learning one that could be a better fit.
I can agree with that. There isn’t anything wrong with diversity as long as the entire ecosystem benefits from it. There are pros and cons, but not really worth going into that here.
At the end of the day, this is the fediverse. If someone wants to write instance code in COBOL to run on a toaster, you go right ahead! (It doesn’t mean I am going to support that effort, but my own personal opinion is insignificant in the whole scheme of things.)
Damn now you made me want to learn COBOL just for the meme…
It shouldn’t scare you.
Check this out: https://microsoft.github.io/rust-for-dotnet-devs/latest/
Having dabbled in rust I really like the error reporting, but it doesn’t seem nearly as readable at a glance as something like python or c#. Better than C++ though I’ve seen some eldritch scrawl in that language
Yeah for some reason
Let the Rust, the only deity, the only faith, guide us to our destiny. Amen.
I am the nogrammer. I do not program. I prompt chatgpt to write my code for me. This takes care of my programming needs.
I don’t know Rust, but I know English. Anyone knows any good English programming tutorial?
Like brainwashing?
Gives me the computer toucher energy is this similar?
