like going out at night. I’m too old for that lol

WTF.

I’m 49, you are absolutely not too old to be going out. You’re also not to old to be in the middle of the mosh pit.

I dont know if you enjoy singing , but in many countries here in Europe, there are lots of choirs for all types of music, as well as for beginners, for almost professionals and usually all ages mixed or lots of people above 40. Usually people go for a drink after rehearsal but not for the alcohol but for the company. In my choir many that come to the bar after rehearsal just drink something nonalcoholic.

Here, 40 is also an age where people still go to bars without feeling weird about it. Of course there are a few bars only full of Students but there are still lots of bars with people above 40 too.

I’d like to know too.

My childhood friend ditched his family and swapped for a younger woman from work about a decade ago. Marriage was not the happiest, but I think he jumped the gun. Now the younger woman ditched him and he’s alone. His now teenage child is keeping touch, but is not happy about their history.

Guy is miserable and I’m afraid suicide is an option.

Can’t get him to take a new hobby, interest or activity. He’s been drowning himself in work and I don’t think it’s helping.

Okay, this post is only an hour old but it already has a ton of replies. I reallly hope you see this, though. I’m going to GBF you for just a couple of minutes.

First of all - girl, seriously? 40 year olds go out all the time for drinks. You should try going out with friends so you can keep an eye on each other, but every bar go to is filled with people our age. I’m ten years older than you, and I in no way feel like an old man in a bar. If you have a next day recovery concern, just limit yourself, or go on the weekends. Just make sure you’re taking an Uber and if you’re doing solo yolo let a friend know where you’re going and let them track your phone or something.

Second, apps can be toxic but they can also be gamed. You’re looking for a silver fox type, maybe with a bit of a dad bod is my guess. Put out for some headshots or other pro photos. There’s even a lot of amateur photographers who you might be able to find on insta who would be happy to do a quick session for a modest amount of money. Do yourself a favor and get a serious makeover and some new outfits first, because it will make you feel like your best self.

Third, it’s okay to just be looking to get dicked down even while looking for something serious. Don’t hang everything on finding your next life partner if you really are just craving physical affection.

There are tons of 40+ men who are single due to similar circumstances to yours. They’re at bars, and they go to concerts at local venues. They’re probably not going to be at the clubs the 20-something’s go to, but they have their own territories.

It really sounds like you have to see yourself as your best self, and up your game with that confidence.

Organize a local Lemmy meetup for 40+ year olds! Lol

I am in my mid 40s myself. I think the default advice is to just find social hobby groups and meet people that way. The more you put yourself out there, the more chance you have to make a connection. Also, I don’t think it’s a problem to be the “odd old lady” - wear that badge with pride IMO.

Volunteer work is my go-to answer in these situations.

I’m around 40, am always very busy with work, and I can’t hold complex conversations in the language that 95% of the population of my country speaks exclusively. My personal interests are extremely technical, and unusual (bordering on arcane). So meeting new friends is a bit of a challenge for me too.

It was still a very effective way to meet awesome people of all ages, some younger, some older! I even met my wife that way.

What about volunteering groups? I’m in my 20s but volunteering groups tend to have people on the older side. It helps that people in their 40s and over tend to be financially stable and would spend their free time to volunteer.