I’ve an issue.
I have a bunch of plants that need to come in for the winter. I have gotten rid of every plant I own that is toxic to cats. We have two.
I’ve been growing a lemon tree for 4 years now. It’s finally in its final pot, and 3-4 feet tall. Meaning, it cannot go up on my winter shelf, and needs to sit on the floor.
One of our cats is, well, chompy. So I looked up if the lemon tree was toxic to cats. I really didn’t think it would be, but yay, it is.
We’ve two bathrooms, in a very small house. My son’s bathroom has a skylight, so for now, not knowing where to put this tree, I stuck it in his tub. I take it out and watch for the cats when he showers, and then put it back in.
My husband made comment about my plant shelf this morning, because I’m down to one functional plant light, anyway, I said this is nothing, and told him what I’ve been doing with the lemon tree the last few days.
He said, well that doesn’t sound sustainable. I said, well what else should I do?
He is so paranoid about our cats getting sick. He suggested I should get rid of the tree, that’s what he would do. I said, it feels like I cant have hobbies because of the cats, I’ve already gotten rid of so many of my plants for them.
He then got mad at me for blaming him, I really should hear myself sometimes. I said I wasn’t blaming him. And he left for work.
I see people with plants and cats. Like, what the hell should I do? I’ve been growing this lemon tree from seed, and I don’t want to get rid of it.
I already have a tropical plant, that has grown too large for the house, is toxic to the cats, and its sitting outside right now freezing to death. It makes me depressed.
:(
Ask around if you have a neighbour or friend willing to plant sit for you during winter. People like doing favours for each others if you’re just willing to ask for it. Or maybe it can be brought to work with you, husband, neighbour, or even to the kids classroom to liven up the place in winter?
I wonder if your husband is always so defensive or if something is going on, as that wasn’t super constructive. Maybe you both have better communication skills when you’re not affected by the morning stresses.
He’s so on edge for months now. Every small thing is like a massive problem. I’ve messaged him reiterating, I wasnt blaming him and brought up stress management because it’s clear hes suffering.
It’s starting to leak into our relationship. Basically everything he says lately is negative or worry. Unless he’s playing rust. Then shits fine. But lately anything I say feels like I’m annoying him.
I’ve already gotten some good advice here on how to protect the kitties and my plant, I’m really greatful.
Hopefully he’ll realise that this is an issue that needs to be dealt with asap. If he waits too long, you might become detached to protect yourself from the constant negativity, and once he’s ready to fix things you might not have any positive emotions left towards him or the relationship. This kind of stuff gets worse the longer it goes on, because it causes new issues as a response.
It could be stress, it could be that you need a break from the routines you’ve gotten into, it could be a midlife crisis even; pondering what life has become and what it means going forward.
Stress management, couples therapy, time apart, or time together doing something new (stuff like dancing or climbing maybe, where you’re working as a team)… There are many options, depending on what the issue is, as long as you’re willing to work on it.
Relationships need care, just like plants and cats do. I hope he’s willing to care for yours.