I find politics to be very important if not the most important factor in choosing a long term partner.
Noticing trends, I feel like people who say this have limited experience in close relationships with people of widely disparate views. I personally would hate to date someone who agrees with me on most things. Not only because it would be boring, but because it would be hard to learn and grow from them.
I see what you’re saying but I think when you really get to know a person you’d be hard pressed to find two that overlap so much that theres nothing they can learn from each other. At least that’s what I’ve experienced. Certain beliefs / viewpoints are so fundamental to how we view the world that they are absolute deal breakers / nonnegotiable for me (for example, human rights, as I’ve mentioned above) in the context of a long term relationship. That isn’t a denial of the other person’s ability to grow per se, just that if I’m going to invest so much in another person, they have to be able to see humanity in all and I don’t think its constructive for us to be a relationship if they don’t at least have the potential to get there.
I see what you’re saying but I think when you really get to know a person you’d be hard pressed to find two that overlap so much that theres nothing they can learn from each other.
No I agree completely, its just less interesting, and less opportunity.
In reality though, whether we mostly agree on most values(other than how they treat me and specific people I care about) does not have much of an impact in how I choose who date.
for example, human rights
The thing is, I think you, I, and basically everyone disagrees on what human rights are. It would be hard to date in much of the world if you believed in freedom of speech, or vice versa in other places.
they have to be able to see humanity in all
Again, I think in many places its hard to find people who do.
I don’t think its constructive for us to be a relationship if they don’t at least have the potential to get there.
I don’t see why someone having the same view of morality as me is necessary to have a relationship.
Noticing trends, I feel like people who say this have limited experience in close relationships with people of widely disparate views. I personally would hate to date someone who agrees with me on most things. Not only because it would be boring, but because it would be hard to learn and grow from them.
I see what you’re saying but I think when you really get to know a person you’d be hard pressed to find two that overlap so much that theres nothing they can learn from each other. At least that’s what I’ve experienced. Certain beliefs / viewpoints are so fundamental to how we view the world that they are absolute deal breakers / nonnegotiable for me (for example, human rights, as I’ve mentioned above) in the context of a long term relationship. That isn’t a denial of the other person’s ability to grow per se, just that if I’m going to invest so much in another person, they have to be able to see humanity in all and I don’t think its constructive for us to be a relationship if they don’t at least have the potential to get there.
No I agree completely, its just less interesting, and less opportunity.
In reality though, whether we mostly agree on most values(other than how they treat me and specific people I care about) does not have much of an impact in how I choose who date.
The thing is, I think you, I, and basically everyone disagrees on what human rights are. It would be hard to date in much of the world if you believed in freedom of speech, or vice versa in other places.
Again, I think in many places its hard to find people who do.
I don’t see why someone having the same view of morality as me is necessary to have a relationship.