I don’t fucking know why I can’t eject USB hard drives. I installed the SysInternals apps, and best they can tell me is that Dropbox is fucking with the drives. I explicitly told Dropbox to not fuck with USB drives. I don’t know who’s lying, I just want whoever is fucking with the drives to stop fucking with the drives, OK??? OK.
Which is exactly what I do if sufficiently annoyed! Problem is, Windows is usually hella vague about which particular devices have Quick Removal™®© enabled.