[an industrial machine labeled ORPHAN LAUNCHER 3000 is in the process of launching an orphan in the air]
[green, distraught] Launching orphans into the sun seems morally wrong
[orange capitalist, annoyed] See! Cancel culture is trying to take everything from us
https://thebad.website/comic/the_last_free_thinking_entrepreneur


tbf the orphan launcher 3000 is a huge improvement on the 2000 model. They only launch free range orphans now and have 2 months of free tech support, plus it comes with a free 15% discount coupon for Wendy’s small fries (*terms and conditions apply). As a non-monetarily compensated orphan launcher 3000 user that is in no way part of a marketing effort I can really say they go the extra mile. And if you think about it, launching a few orphans here and there doesn’t hurt anyone really. Think about it. :)
And if you pay for a subscription, you don’t have to do the orphan launching yourself! Just lean back on your yacht with a tequila and watch the orphan get ballista’d out of the atmosphere. It’s a steal!
You forgot to mention the best feature: it’s AI powered!