YOU EUTHANIZED YOUR FAITHFUL COMPANION CUBE FASTER THAN ANY TEST SUBJECT ON RECORD. CONGRATULATIONS.

“WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON’T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE’S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I’M THE MAN WHO’S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I’M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!”

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON’T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE’S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M THE MAN WHO’S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I’M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

FINISH HIM!

THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20-KILO FERROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT. EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE TO 1.3 PERCENT OF LIGHT SPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE OF A 38-KILOTOMB BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH.THAT MEANS SIR ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE.

MEDIC!

I’M HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM, AND I’M ALL OUTTA GUM!

YOU’VE GONE…YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, YOU CAMEL-MANNERED, TUNIC-WETTING MOLLYCODDLE! AN ARROW IN THE THROAT OUGHT TO SHUT YOU UP!

SHAKE IT, BABY!