For me, it was learning English. Although I do make a few mistakes here and there, I’m mostly perfect on it.
The amount of resources you have access to dramatically increases when you know a universal language. I say dramatically because it made me realize how much my native language lacks when it comes to certain topics. The most obvious one to me was tech and computers. Everybody knows how to use Windows but there are very few resources about stuff beyond Windows. It’s actually sad. [insert sad face here]
At the risk of repeating what others have posted, getting together with my wife. She’s smart, financially responsible, and we influence each other in positive ways. We’ve been so much more capable as a team than either of us was separately.
Making new year resolutions and actually following through with them until i have succeeded. Each new year, if i completed my previous year goal, i will spend some time thinking about what i could do to best improve my life. i also very carefully word the resolution, so i am not able to ‘cheat’ in any way.
I started off by doing something i saw as a joke. the resolution was to watch every episode and movie of star trek, star wars and dr who. After accomplishing this goal (after 3 years) i realized that making the goal specific is more important. a vague goal that says “do better” in some way is bad. it is better, for me, to aim for a reasonable and achievable goal.
For example, “losing weight” is a bad. if i never stopped losing weight, it would be worse than if i never stopped gaining weight. if i make the goal “get to, then stay within 180-200 pounds”, it is a good goal. (for my height, this is a healthy range).
i started doing this in 2006. since starting i have quit drinking alcohol, quit illegal drugs and reconnected with family members i lost contact with, during the time i was doing the other two.
the most recent goal i made, in 2020, is actually the opposite of my first goal: quit watching tv and movies, quit playing videogames and educate myself as much as possible, until i get a college degree (this is difficult. i have developmental disorders) or buy a house. since they are harder goals than before, i gave myself a deadline of before 2030 begins.
It could help with long term to define sub goals.
For example, about what amount of savings you want to have by which date, or set a date when you want to have a clear concise description of what kind of house and location you are looking for.
At another date you want to be familiar with all the things that involve buying a house, the documents and what not.
By defining sub goals you keep things real and are able to measure your position towards your goal.
It’s a valid strategy for dealing with complex and long term stuff.
Moving to California. Happened on a whim. Change my life completely because I didn’t fit in my conservative state and would never have achieved actual happiness. Also, continuing therapy.
Someone convinced me to study computer science 20 years ago. The career possibilities with good money and easy work have put the rest of life on easy mode (for now). Even meeting my wife and having my family would never have happend without that decision.
Quit smoking.
Apart from that, it’s been a clusterfuck.
Quitting smoking
- In real life: 🙂😎
- In a Source game: 😲😠
Stooped caring what other thought, started doing what I liked, took risks.
Overcoming my tendency to push people away and committing to my wife.
Why would you want to overcome committing to your wife?
/s
Moving. I was in my mid 20s and I lived in a city with all my friends.
Really struggled with mental health. Felt like all my friends hated me. Turns out they were just mediocre friends.
Packed up and moved, solo.doing way better than I ever woulda done in that situation, I think.
Getting a divorce. My life has been better since then, even when I lived in my car.
Ditto - divorcing my first wife. Now I’m married to my soulmate and we have an amazing daughter together. Best thing I ever did!
A “friend” started a company and hired me. It was pretty fun for a year. Then it became pretty bad — real bad. I quit on the spot after a verbal abuse session where I demanded more respect and my “friend” / boss literally said “no.”
It’s been a little over a year since I quit. Lived in my car for some of it, otherwise took odd jobs here and there where I could rent a room temporarily.
I’m at the end of this insane journey — starting a new job in a couple months. It’s been rough but I still think it was the right decision. Curious to see myself in 6 months to a year.
Anyway, felt like this was somewhat similar to your case.
It’s rough as hell, friend. I’m glad you’re seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. With a little hard work and a lot of luck I was able to buy a house a few years after I went through the homelessness thing. I hope the same for you.
Same. I thought life would be worse so I stayed married longer than I should have.
Turns out being unhappily married is far more lonely than being single…by a LOT.
Oh hell yes it is. I didn’t stay too long (I’m notorious for leaving anything I’m unhappy with) but it was only good for like the first couple of weeks. I honestly should have known better but I was 18.
And for all the folks saying that getting married is the best thing to happen to them, I only have one thing to say: good! I’m glad it’s working for you and your spouse!
Probably having kids. Got pregnant at 23, went back to school, slowly, got a much better job when I finished. Do not think I would have done without having the kids, and they have brought so much joy into my life.
But I always knew I wanted kids so not sure that counts.
Wearing a very slightly alternative outfit to the mall in the 1980s may actually have saved my life. I was so alienated at school, for a lot of reasons, and falling in with these slightly older punks who looked after me at shows and just generally got me into that scene really made me feel I had a place - I wouldn’t say it was wholesome by any stretch but without that group I am pretty sure I would have just died, probably from anorexia as a teen. Good and bad came from it but I am very, very happy for that day.
Quit work at 35, am now 58.
Regrets ? Not brave enough to quit earlier.
How do you support yourself and how did you make that happen?
Seconded I’m ready to take notes at 33
If you are actually interested there was movement, not sure if still going, a few years ago called financial independence. It was r/financialindependence. One of their influencers was Mr Money Moustache. You can look that up if you want
Yeah :) I actually am going to reach FI myself next year at 33 y/o. Was hoping to hear this person’s story since its a concept I’m very interested in.
Buying dirt, it’s a struggle everyday but as much as I say I’m giving up and selling… I’m never going to
Asking out my partner. They’re my favorite person. I pity the alternate timeline version of me who didn’t have the guts to make a move. They’re really missing out.
Super cute and wholesome. Glad for you both of you, and cracking up at your username.
It’s kind of weird that English became a universal language. There must have been better choices.
I mean the options at the time were English, French and maybe Spanish with Dutch being a distant 4th so… Not really? Nowadays your options are English or Mandarin.
French and Spanish would have been better.
Apparently not, or those would’ve become the universal.
History is what caused it. Though it’s pretty fascinating that in Shakespeare’s time, English (in England) was considered the commoner’s tongue, while the upper classes spoke French.
This is part of Shakespeare’s legacy (he wrote and performed in English) , and also shows why the early documents in America are worded the way they are. No American says “four score and 20 years”, that’s from French.
No American says “four score and 20 years”,
My whole life has been a lie.
Your English is excellent - I wouldn’t know it was a second (third?) language for you.
FYI, “mostly perfect” is problematic, as “perfect” is an absolute - something is perfect or it isn’t perfect. Though it could interpreted as “most of my English is perfect”, which makes sense. And there’s also room for artistic license.
Many native speakers say this kind of thing all the time with “unique”, by saying things like “one of the most unique” thing. So you’re in good company, you speak English as well as many native speakers! 😁
(It’s a minor thing, I doubt most people notice that qualifying an absolute doesn’t make sense).
Again, your English is excellent - I really wouldn’t know otherwise.
