I was hired to ghostwrite Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” but then her accountant got strange with my change so I sent them a version where nothing was actually ironic. And then they actually liked it and released it. How the fuck is “rain on your wedding day” even supposed to be ironic? It was supposed to be a “fuck you” and they ran with it.
Aroace and genderqueer who lives in one of the most queerphobic countries in the world.
Most people who know me think I’m a just swell normal guy with perhaps some offputting vibes. But I was raised under circumstances that would fuck up most people. Turning out well-adjusted, educated, and starting a stable family all basically started as a rebellious phase. I still am gutter trash deep down, but I’ve got a wife and a kid now who I somehow support on a single income working 100% from home. I’ve overcommitted to this bit and there’s no going back. I have to “be a sane human” who doesn’t “sleep in storage units” now. I’ve become a man who “updates underwriters” and doesn’t “dress like a wizard, cast spells in public parks, and barf on the sidewalk”. God help me.
You can dress like a wizard, just do it at sponsored events, or with your kids. Don’t barf on the sidewalk, but the wizard stuff is fine, in moderation.
That stuff is behind me, for now. The fact that I’m a bearded recluse in a tower who makes a living staring long and deep into a glowing piece of glass that is slowly driving me insane is pretty cool though
Thanks for this different perspective. Makes the grind more tolerable
Dear diary, today my palantir put me in touch with a pretty chill wizard…
We’re all faking it, at least a bit. The fact that you care enough about your family to keep your shit together proves that you’re not trash inside.
Proof is perhaps too strong a word for it, but whatever spends is money, eh?
Short but people have said I look tall af from a distance
Tis you?
How the fuck did you get this!? My ex put you up to this?
Lol
Found the german
I’m a type-A personality with ADHD.
I own ten thousand spoons but all I need is a knife.
Did you meet the man of your dreams, and then meet his beautiful wife? little bitter giggle
I bought a box of spoons at the Business Costco and now this is my whole life
Hmm the most ionic thing is probably my blood plasma. There’s a pretty high concentration of various ions - sodium (Na+), potassium (K+), calcium (Ca2+), chloride (Cl-), and bicarbonate (HCO3-). Ion party in my blood!
Everybody but me thinks I’m wonderful.
not me
The iron in my blood.
I love when food that has a high iron content tastes a bit iron-y!
This is why I don’t clean my knives after sharpening!
I’m a kinky burlesque performer with a forked tongue.
I’m also sex repulsed and ace.
lmao that’s cool as hell
Man, you remind me of a friend of mine.
Everybody around me knows but I don’t.
I yearn for human connection but i cant stand the thought of being known and understood
Yeah, I understand that. I feel like I know you, you know?
eurgh, i know you’re kidding around but damn if this comment hasn’t given me anxiety all day long lol
220lbs
Seen worse, any workout routine?
Pizza and Neflix
I would switch pizza with evening walks
y tho?
Enjoy sunset maybe?
I really was rocking the hipster aesthetic before it was cool. I lucked into cool; cool came to me, swept over and through me, and left me unchanged in its wake.