Dude I fucking hate that movie. I’m in the (personal, not global. I know we’re all in the global bad universe) bad universe and I do not like thinking about the good one

Maybe be more careful where UP

I would like a cigar, yes please

No I’m eating gummy worms and it’s making me hungrier

Sometimes you miss the taste of hooves, but I’m with you

Burma shave

all the auto body shops in town are on the same road. they lobbied city hall to have the intersection out front changed so now there’s two, three fender benders a day there.

that’s good because he’s been promoted to admiral and is on the nimitz

Esquite (i am too lazy to put the accents in right now)

have you considered burying your prank in the transpacific garbage patch?

maybe you need a fancier gun?

Part of me wants to amend mine to “Garbage In” and “Garbage Out”, but my wife and I are both good cooks and I don’t want to imply that about our leftovers.

please we all know gramps had teats like zeppelins

i get the feeling gamepass gives you access to the library of games that my library has. fantastic if your library doesn’t have video games or you have difficulty getting out of the house, but i love my local library

you spend more time looking up which service has the thing you want to watch

justwatch is pretty reliable and can save you tens of hours on your search apparently

what the hells a ɘɔnɒlυdmɒ

same on I10. that bit in texas where the limit goes up to 80 is nice tho

nah, it just gets them to slow to 20 over the limit here

20 over the speed limit? that’s ridiculous no one should be driving over 25

that’s pretty expensive for 250 lumens. i can get 500 for a third the price.