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Cake day: July 17th, 2023

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  • I did way back when I was 18/19… I was riding my bike home from work, and a cop directing traffic yelled at me to get out of the street. Without even thinking, I yelled back “go fuck yourself”. He called to his partner across the intersection, “Mike, get him!”. Mike was on a motorcycle. I was sure I was fucked, but I knew the neighborhood, so after salmoning up a one way street full of double parked cars, and taking a couple turns, one being into a narrow alley that’s almost invisible unless you already know it’s there, I got behind him - figured that was the best place to be… He never looked back, just slowed down, looking in doorways, between/under parked cars, until I got within a couple blocks of my house, then I hauled ass and locked myself (and bike) in the basement for the next half hour.














  • I’ve worked a lot of different jobs over the years, some well in my skill set, some well outside, and if there’s one thing I’ve noticed, it’s that with very few exceptions, knowledge and skills matter very little, what matters most is sucking up to the boss, a skill I am exceedingly bad at. Interestingly enough, one of the jobs where skill mattered most was construction, even when I worked for my uncle, he barely cut me any breaks. He once said “you hammer like old people fuck”. Not to mention the number of times he yelled at me because I was shit with a tape measure. “Cut it 3 times and it’s still too short”. Yeah nepotism didn’t help me there.