I didn’t say he couldn’t also choose to pick a better time. It’s a mutual thing. They both need time to process the new information, get into a more healthy state, and readdress this thing. That can only happen when both say as much.

I’m pretty sure I said as much in the rest of the post, if you want to go back and read the other 80%.

Whether she realizes it or not, refusing to engage or talk about it, except in her own time frame- is not a good sign for a healthy relationship,

Haaaaaaaaaard disagree. People need time to process and self regulate before engaging with things like this. The silent treatment isn’t the right play, and neither is stewing in it, not trying to reach an emotionally grounded state, and reapproacing the situation.

A much more healthy response, from either individual, would be to set a timeframe for when they can reengage. Either him saying “clearly you don’t want to discuss this now. That’s okay. How about the morning?” or her saying the same, essentially. It’s healthy to admit that you just do not have the emotional capacity to have a conversation respectfully.

There’s a pretty good chance the questions asked were only asked because she was still very emotionally high. The fact that it occurred in the middle of the night, suddenly, after OP being asleep, says that she has probably not been regulating. Not good times to be having emotional discourse. Every person has said weird, gross, or straight up untrue things when they’re emotionally charged. Stuff you don’t believe or wouldn’t act on, and never would have said in a normal state.

None of this is to excuse any of the actions or words said. She clearly has some emotional issues, and needs actual, professional help. I’m just picking at the “refusing to talk” bit. There are healthy ways to refuse to talk, and many benefits to not just butting heads immediately.

It’s true enough advice, though. She has an emotional problem, not a rational one. She probably knows full well that her response isn’t rational, but she still feels the feelings she has. Explaining the rationale and logic she seems to be missing is only going to make her more upset. Versus, instead, figuring out what her actual problem is. Maybe it’s a long standing issue, having texts ignored. Maybe she has some past trauma, or something specific happened that day that just set them off.

It’s not always about being right or wrong. Her response, we all agree, was a wrong response. It’s one that I’d be considering the relationship for. But it’s also one to learn from, for all parties. Someone having a problem stemming from an emotion often isn’t going to be made better by logicing the situation into submission.

Ok now THAT’S a weird one to censor.

You’re asking people to describe a qualic phenomenon. This thing, the feeling of being trans, isn’t really something someone can describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it.

Ultimately, what you’re describing to me is less trans, and more along the lines of how I am. I’m a cisgender male, but I’m also very feminine in certain areas. I paint my nails, I enjoy dancing, too, and I play female characters in games where I can make the character. I enjoy teaching, and nurturing. I have no desire to change my gender, or to conform any more strictly to one set of gender norms or the other.

So often, you’ll hear trans people say they always knew. I think that’s both the case, and a bit off. My guess is that they’ve always had a feeling SOMETHING was amiss, but weren’t really able to nail down the exact feeling until, well… They started considering transitioning.

Came here just to note this. So close!

I was talking about the phone lmao.

Oh, man. My mother had cats who would just attack tp or paper towels. We had them both hanging the ‘correct’ way, got tired of it and flipped em. Now, though, I stick to dogs lol

Something would get turned off really quick.

The proper way to hang it, if you have cats, is the other way so they don’t bat it all off if the get access. This is why I do not have cats.

I dunno, have you seen the drivers out there? Pretty sure some of them are watching movies.

Sure, you don’t need to stress eat while you’re bored. But eating is already a thing you do, it makes you feel good, and it’s there.

Imagine if you actually had to smoke a cigarette 3 times a day. The smoke is a requirement for your body. It makes you feel good, but you can go to excess and it’s bad for you. This is MUCH closer to food.

You HAVE to eat. You eat daily. Not doing so is a disorder. So you can’t just not eat, you have to develop a healthy relationship with food. With this thing that tastes good, makes you feel good, and you have to do anyway. Well, that’s okay. We can have a healthy relationship with it!

Oh no. You’re sad. Something bad happened. You need something to help you out. Well, how about some food? It’s usually pretty enjoyable. You eat every day anyway, so like… It’s not a HUGE deal, surely, and you’re fuckin SAD man. Fuck it, whole pizza it is! Let’s get happy!

Rinse and repeat, because life is inevitably a big series of bad things (and good, but we’re not focusing on those) happening. Now your emotional coping is tied to food. It’s not as addictive as nicotine, but it is a requirement for life. It’s a lot harder to change THAT than it is to just say “don’t smoke.” It’s like going to a smoker and saying “smoke, but only 3 times a day.”

I don’t see any normalizing of obesity. I see a lot of empathy for people whose circumstances have led them to this point. I see a lot of explaining why someone may actively choose foregoing physical health for another reason.

You can support people who are in a position, even by “their own hand” without saying it’s cool, or normal, or anything. You can give just a little back to these people, to hopefully help move them back towards an actual normal living without saying where they are now is good or healthy. That’s what I’m seeing.

Time is a cost too. When people say processed foods are cheaper, time is part of that. If you spend an hour grocery shopping, you can buy a processed meal for each day of the week, and take whatever time it is to microwave it. That’s a lot less than the 30 minutes minimum to make a meal from ingredients. That time becomes important when you have obligations past the ‘regular’ 40 hours a week job.

Having a dick is all well and good, but I don’t think I’d want to interact with a person who was entirely 100% a penis. Big difference between having and being.

We also extend some sympathy to the cigarette smoker, to the self harmer. Quitting smoking is HARD. It takes a ton of effort, nicotine is literally addictive. Self harm is indicative of any of a number of mental and emotional issues. Those are a nightmare to address

But at the end of the day, they should just grow up and do it, right? Just don’t smoke. Just don’t cut yourself. Just don’t eat to excess. Simple.

Never mind the literal good deserts some people find themselves in. The decades of misinformation from lobbying groups. The fact that everyone has their own one weird trick,so you don’t know who to believe. The fact that the cheapest food is often the least nutritious. The fact that, increasingly, people have to work more hours to get by, leaving less time for things like cooking a proper meal.

There are real societal factors that play into the obesity epidemic. We didn’t get where we are because everyone was collectively like “let’s just get fat, yeah?” - we were all brought to this point by the influences of the world around us. Personal responsibility is all well and good, but it’s also not the whole game.

Why does it necessarily have to be a celebration? Are quiet hours at shopping centers celebrating sensory disorders?

It’s not about celebrating, even if some people will use it as such. It’s about allowing different people the comfort to experience a thing that most of our society takes for granted.

I’ve never met a fat person who doesn’t want to change their lifestyle. Sure, there are a few who claim that, but in my experience, that’s a defense mechanism from all of the people who look down on them daily. Something like this is only a good thing, offering encouragement at no significant cost.

Counterpoint, no matter the accessibility options included, there’s always going to be a disability that isn’t compatible. The only game that everyone can play is “sitting alone in your room” and some people even struggle with that. There’s always going to be some level of ability required. As much as that sucks, that some people just won’t be able to experience a thing, it sucks more to have no one experience it for fear of excluding those who can’t.

Holy shit I haven’t thought about frybread in like, a decade and now you made me think about it. How dare you.