I only purchased this toothbrush because that was the only way to get the water-resistant Entertainment Center/Speaker/Corporate Surveillance Device for the one room in my house that is the least comfortable, has the worst acoustics, and has the strongest expectation of privacy, and also I can’t just put a regular Alexa in like a plastic bag or something because I blew my plastic bag budget on a fucking app-controlled toothbrush or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be, jesus christ

I’m leaning Sith right now if only because Jason Qimir started in on “peace is a lie” for that split-second.

I do think “philosophical beef” is probably the right answer, though. Because if some random orphan, taking Forcin’ classes part-time on a beach with some shady-lookin’ drifter, can not only match but surpass a Jedi master in a Force-off… That’s gotta do some serious damage to the Order’s reputation, right? Especially if it comes out that the Jedi specifically failed to train her identical twin? Imagine you’re one of the parents whose child went off with the Jedi because it was the “best way to realize their cosmic destiny”, never to see them again because the order drills “attachments are spiritual poison” into their heads from childhood, and suddenly you find out that, basically, homeschooling was an option the whole time? Now you start thinking maybe those “enlightened peacekeepers” training your kid to “harness their spiritual potential” might just be… kidnapping children and indoctrinating them into their weird death-cult to raise a galaxy-spanning theocratic paramilitary with a forced monopoly on psychic phenomena, against which the common denizen has no defense — who are, incidentally, hoarding all knowledge pertaining to their Order’s history, philosophy, training, and religious practice on inscrutable magic prisms that only they know how to open and read, which they keep in a locked vault in the back of their heavily-guarded stronghold. Trust in the Jedi erodes, maybe folks are a little more hesitant to send the youngsters off to Force Camp, and the Jedi Order either stagnates without new recruits or they start taking drastic measures which will, of course, only erode the public trust more, rinse and repeat until the Jedi go exctinct, and the Sith kick back with a couplea space brewskis and have a grand ol’ chuckle. “Kills the dream” indeed.

Oh, yeah, I saw a documentary about those once, from the '50s. I Love Lucy, they called it…

ohhhh, and it’s your piss that produces the mercury? that is cool.

That was my impression as well, yeah. Big “hey ChatGPT, summarize this news article” vibes coming off of this one. And this is the only site the OP ever posts, they’ve got no comments, their account is literally named “Solo Ad”… All the standard robot warning signs, really.

Maybe, but on further reading…

Saynewsy is a Professional News Platform. Here we will provide you only interesting content, which you will like very much. We’re dedicated to providing you the best of News, with a focus on dependability and News. We’re working to turn our passion for News into a booming online website. We hope you enjoy our News as much as we enjoy offering them to you.

Copyright © 2022 BlogName.

…I have some concerns about the reputability of this particular outlet in general.

Edit: … and the header at the top of the page is just the default logo for that blogspot theme, the dates are in French, the “Contact Us” form says “We will revert you as soon as possible”, and the Facebook link at the bottom leads to a page named “Painting Art” with one post from September 2023. Yeah, I dunno about this one, fellas.

Shit, an emulator getting taken down for… actual copyright infringement? You don’t see that every day.

Well your corp don’t dance and if it don’t dance then it’s no friend of mine

To say nothing of the whole, y’know, “grafting experimental hardware directly into peoples’ brains” thing.

“Djinn”, specifically, being the correct word choice. We’re way past fun-loving blue cartoon Robin Williams genies granting wishes, doing impressions of Jack Nicholson and getting into madcap hijinks. We’re back into fuckin’… shapeshifting cobras woven of fire and dust by the archdevil Iblis, hiding in caves and slithering out into the desert at night to tempt mortal men to sin. That mythologically-accurate shit.

And why do we bake cookies but cook bacon?

does that mean that 36x10²⁵ Scaramuccis is equal to one ronnaRonna?

Obama’s spicy dijon mustard…

I mean… Five minutes before the slap, he was sitting in his front-row seat at an internationally-televised award ceremony where he had just been nominated for two of the most coveted honors in cinema. I dunno if he was that bad off.

Mar-a-Lago, Palm Beach, Florida

Holy shit. I’ve figured it out. I’ve cracked the master plan.

“Um, excuse me, stolen classified documents piled high to the rafters in my bathroom? I believe that’s the New York attorney general’s bathroom, athankyouverymuch. Case dismissed!”

This makes the fairly generous assumption that the man is capable of planning, but whatever.

I was gonna make some joke like “is one of them ‘being pressured into taking out a predatory loan at age 17?’”, but then I went to actually read the article, missed the “Continue Reading” button, and mistook the list of “Trending Now” links at the bottom of the page for the qualifying factors… I was very confused as to why:

1. Your 50-year-old mom building a $1.3B startup
2. Being a 29-year-old making $125,000 working in tech without a bachelor’s degree
3. The value of bitcoin being ‘halved’, or
4. Nvidia stock prices soaring over the past 5 years

Would qualify someone for debt forgiveness. Hell, I was confused why your billionaire mom would let you take out student loans to begin with. I thought billionaires loved nepotism. And who’s this guy with student loans without a bachelor’s degree? Needless to say, I had assumed the whole administration had lost its mind.

(“being pressured into taking out a predatory loan at age 17” is not, explicitly, one of the 17 factors.)