its true. as a person with cptsd (bpd) ive mainly had to resort to giving myself the therapy i need through reading, being mindful every moment of the day (i legit have conversations with myself in real time to decide-what i want to say- vs the impact it will have), and psychiatric medication. The real difficult thing is getting the said person with BPD to WANT to change, and i mean with a desperate fervor, otherwise therapy is basically a silly talk session for me where i jab at the therapist to make them say what i want them to say.
too add an analogy to this, its like building a car with Kinex building sticks, painting it over and making it look like a normal vehicle but driving it is a whole different issue. you cant change the structure under the paint, but you can slowly reinforce every bit of it until its ready to drive on the freeway.
its very real. My principle (a 72 year old educator) sent me to counseling after telling me, a fifteen year old boy, “there is something wrong with you”, however when i got to counseling i passed with flying colors. I legitimately thought i was normal for the longest time.
Honesty will take us a long way. Allistic people treat honesty like a two sided blade, but if you can find somebody who will let you know when youre being shitty and you can legitimately look up too (not a fucked up attachment syndrome where they’re perfect) then itll make all the difference.
oh and medication. Find a good psych, theres no shame in it and it beats self harm lol