I know it’s an unpopular opinion given current circumstances, but I’ve always been a huge nerd about Russia. The history, the geography, the music, etc. And as an American, I’ve always found it fascinating how U.S.-Russian relations have fluctuated over time. We’ve gone from allies, to enemies, to frenemies. This doesn’t mean I support Z or Putin, of course. What are you a nerd about?
Imagine that for your entire life you felt there was something different about you, that there was a gulf between you and most other people and that you felt alone. And then you finally know that not only was it not your imagination, you now know why you felt different. And you no longer feel as alone anymore. You know that there are others that are a lot like you. You look back and a lot of things about your life click into place whereas they didn’t before. It fundamentally changed how I saw myself and those around me because it gave me insight into how my mind works and how my mind is different than most peoples’ in more concrete and less anecdotal terms. And it allowed me to be more compassionate toward myself. For a long time I felt like I didn’t live up to the expectations of others because of a personality flaw. And I realized the full extent of how much abuse I had undergone because of those expectations. I did the best that I could and people often gave me the impression that was never good enough.
Wow, that hit hard. Thanks for taking the time to type that out.
This past week, my sons teacher suggested getting him evaluated. As a result I’ve been doing a lot of reading about ADHD and related conditions. Just about everything I read makes me think “weird, this describes me”.
Obviously I’m going to do whatever I can to help him, but now I wonder if there is anything I should look into to help me. I wonder how much different my life would be if I figured this out earlier.
ADHD is very heritable. Something like 80 to 90%. In other words, it would not at all be surprising if it turned out you are also in the ADHD tribe. As for what you can do, you could ask your provider for an ADHD assessment. If you are ADHD, you cant rewind time but you can get the support you would need and it is never too late to do that. Just be aware that assessment as an adult is often expensive even with otherwise good insurance. If that is a major hurdle, depending on your area, there may be “pay as you are able” mental health establishments that may be able to help.
As for what to do before you are assessed, there are things that help ADHD people that dont require special accomodations or medication. eg. exercise helps regulate emotions and movement often helps alleviate feelings of restlessness and helps concentration/focus. 80% of adults with ADHD go to sleep much later than normal and/or have difficulty getting enough sleep. Research indicates this is a bidirectional issue. i.e poor sleep quality worsens ADHD and ADHD likely causes insomnia/delayed/poor sleep.