For me it’s input. I have a continually thinking mind that feels that I must have something to say on anything. Whenever I’ve gotten rid of a Reddit account or took even a day or two off from activity on the internet. I had an itch to say something whenever something is reported or something I’ve seen while browsing that peaked my interest.
And I feel I have to say something on it, even if small. But yet I try to restrain myself from doing so because of how manufactured social media has become today.
It’s gotten a little better, mainly because you know, after registering so many accounts for so long and having to upkeep so many. It is tiring to do for me so I think I’m finally slowing down from that to where this issue won’t nearly be as big as it once was.
The hardest thing for me was the instant gratification. If I was feeling bored or lonely I’d just go on there and post any old bullshit just because I knew it would get an immediate response. I’ve been off Facebook for nearly 8 years now and I don’t miss it at all anymore though lol
Facebook in particular makes it so easy. I have an account I check every now and again. Everything is 85% ads and recommended content (not hyperbole, I counted). I can barely find posts by anyone I actually give a shit about.
Reddit has been very hard for me to quit because the volume of subjects, content, and people to engage with where I’m in the mood for serious talk or shitposting is just limitless. Lemmy is great but especially while I’m out of work I run out of Lemmy frequently, sometimes even if I look at All and just see everything.
But I changed my password without looking so I don’t have a Reddit account any more and without that it’s not worth going back anyway.
Why not just delete the account?
Facebook? It’s a long story but the short version is I’m married and it wasn’t a war worth waging.
I was talking about the reddit one actually, but now I’m more concerned that what online accounts you have is somehow dictated by your partner. That’s bizarre to me.
There are a bunch of family picture’s and messages from early in our relationship. I need to be able to share photos and updates with the family and that’s how we do it.
You make it sound dictatorial, but the truth is I just don’t fucking care that much and it turned out to be a huge boon when planning her 50th birthday. I just have no use for spending time on the app, which having an account doesn’t obligate me to do.
As for Reddit, changing the password was pretty simple. I abandoned several Reddit accounts that way when I started feeling like the sum of all my comments revealed too much about me that I might have to worry about being doxxed just because I cheesed off the wrong autistic asshole. So every 3-4 years I’d start over from scratch. It was natural to just so that again.
Warned you. Long stories, none of it interesting.
Or getting likes, upvotes .etc
Yeah that’s another issue I’ve had too. I know what to say on Reddit that’ll get me some good upvotes just to ‘feel better’ about myself over. But what it does is that it works against who you really are and invalidates a little of your true thoughts.
It’s also true for Lemmy too!
For me, it’s a lack of meaningful contact with my family on the other side of the country.
Facebook and other social media sources are turning into just giant vanity “me me me!” and shit posting. Nothing more meaningful came out of it… So I abandoned it.
It’s hard to keep track of so many different media outlets as well, and got tiring. Especially with a lot of doom scrolling posts… Such a downer.
I was a DJ once so I used social media to keep up with artists, venues, promotors et cetera. Out was shocking to see how quickly I went from a fringe character on the scene to a nobody who was completely out of the loop.
At a certain point I just stopped caring and my friends went through the same. Finished college, got a job, bought a house… Life catches up with you.
For me it’s the instant messaging apps like Messenger. Convincing folks to switch to Signal just for me feels evangelical somehow.
Nobody can help feel like a salesman or an evangelist for trying to get some people to go elsewhere that is a net positive for their sanity or privacy.
I’ve stopped trying to convince people to give up Facebook. If they’re gonna be on it and want to be glued to it, then fine. I just don’t want to hear anyone cry about how they haven’t heard from me for X amount of time because I was the one that decided to delete or deactivate it.
For me it’s weird, I dropped it all before the dating apps really got going, but the hardest part for me has become meeting potential romantic partners outside of the apps. It’s also an issue of “I stopped going to bars, but didn’t quit drinking and even if I did you’re not supposed to meet anyone in recovery” to be fair, but those are supposedly the only places that are acceptable to (respectfully) approach people and shoot one’s proverbial shot.
The common advice is “just meet someone at a hobby,” but my hobbies are loner hobbies like reading and stupid shit like that, nobody wants to be talked to by a stranger at a bookstore, library, or even the comic store. I also like music, and nobody wants to be hit on at a punk show (besides, what, do I yell “I LIKE YOUR DOCS WANNA GO GET SOME COFFEE??” no way, she’ll say “WHAT??” because she can’t hear me!) I also like wandering in the woods looking at cool rocks and mushrooms and slithery things near creeks, but we all know what they say about a man in the woods, I’d have a better chance if I were a bear! Lol.
I think my only recourse is to:
-
Go back to bars, to my detriment, which isn’t actually the best way to find a committed relationship (I mean, a hookup would be cool too but that isn’t my goal.)
-
Somehow find a way to use one of the stupid apps and not sacrifice my sanity or privacy, which I don’t even know how that’d be possible.
-
Become one of those dudes that just doesn’t give a shit at all, and will ask someone “hey I think you look cool, wanna grab some coffee?” literally anywhere I see someone who looks like we may vibe. And I mean no fucks given, grocery store, book store, library, her job, literally an anywhere “see em ask em” policy. Kiiiinda leaning this way. Fuck it, the only thing that stops me is I don’t want to be one of those dudes who makes women uncomfortable, but also I have to meet them somewhere, and naturally that has to be where they are. (Maybe not at like a funeral lmao, but ykwim.) And this isn’t without precedent mind you! I’ve recently seen some women complaining that “nobody asks them out in public anymore” since the apps, so like, evidentially some will hate it but some won’t and I gotta sift through somehow!
I’d be cool with being alone with my cats forever, I have a hand I guess lol, and could just go back to the bars for casual hookups, but It’d be cool to find someone to like, date or whatever lol.
(Not really seeking more of the same “hobbies” advice, more just venting and answering the question)
-
Reddit, because of the solutions to some obscure problem.
I have score view off on Lemmy so it actually feels like a forum with worthwhile discussions. I deblocked some users and instances and my experirence is much better right now.
Also homeservers/instances and federation feel like I have the power over my experience instead of what powerusers shovel into my face. Allthough I do see an incline of “redditness” on the larger instances…
Im between Reddit and Lemmy I started custom RSS feeds for a while. I still use that too, not really social media though.
News. Factual information about the world. If not for social media I’d only have TV news and other legacy media. I’d probably be as ignorant of America’s latest mass murder as most people seem to be.
deleted by creator
I mean, you’re on Lemmy and Lemmy is social media. Granted its user hosted but its still social media, with a lot of the same pitfalls.
Well I haven’t dropped social media entirely because….I’m here. But about 2 years ago I got completely off of FB…I had been off Instagram for a while, never did TikTok and rarely used Twitter or chat style social media. I cancelled my Reddit account during the API thing and came here…but still occasionally lurk without an account there. And the reason is this…what I really miss is other people’s thoughts. Sane, crazy, silly, angry…whatever. I love to learn random facts, I love to watch a tv show and see what everyone else thinks, and I like reading what the average person thinks about world news and yes, even politics (though I always keep in mind that bots and trolls are a thing). I liked it on Reddit because if I read something that seemed off to me, it wasn’t connected to the face of my beloved Aunt, or well intentioned but batty mother. It was a face in the crowd but it was a way to find out thoughts from people outside my bubble.
Podcasts are helping because a lot are run by just normal people…so I get a bit of a “fix” there. But I love watching something or reading a random book and then just searching it on Reddit to see what other people thought. I really hope one day Lemmy grows enough to fulfill that for me. It’s getting closer for sure.
Apparently Lemmy, because I’m still on Lemmy.
My serious answer is similar to yours. I want to talk about things I see on the news, but most people I know IRL either don’t want to talk about heavy stuff or agree with me about almost everything. Lemmy provides a place to debate (sometimes).
I stopped using social media a little over a year ago, except for Reddit. Now my challenge will be weaning off of Reddit, once the paywalls hit.
What do you mean by paywalls? I got off reddit when the whole paying for API by third party apps thing happened and don’t know what’s going on after that point
Rumor has it that Reddit will be adding paywalls to content, similar to Quora
Fuck Quora, really. That shithole of a place, you can’t even browse for too long without it nagging you to register.
