Just go and say “Hey bro I want to be your friend” and you get one instantly
dunno how it is where you live but gardening collectives are a great place to meet a lot of different folks (no class distinctions in the garden, i always say), get some rewarding exercise and fresh air, and often free fruits and veggies that taste so much better than store-bought stuff. i also improved my language skills significantly when i joined one in a foreign country! older ladies (the larger demographic i encountered) are always happy and patient to help you practice.
Honestly the best are ones that you enjoy. People pickup on the honest enjoyment of the activity and respond well to it.
That and base line social skills are all that are needed to make friends.
The most important things are that they happen on a regular basis, at least biweekly, and that it’s possible to have a conversation while doing them or that there are at least enough breaks to have them. So, here’s a list of examples:
- Table top RPGs
- Fiber arts circle
- Hiking group
- Choir/music ensemble
- Ballroom/swing dancing
- Soup kitchen volunteer
- Shibari practice
- Martial arts
- Recreational team sports
- Community theater
- Fraternal organizations e.g. Elks, Kiwanis, etc
These are all great ideas! I’ll add that learning something new is a great way to bond with people
Especially shibari
So casually included… Like it should be
Music is always a great way to make friends. Most musicians want to make music with others, so they are pretty easy to approach about it. If you aren’t up to their level, they’ll help you, and if you are better than them, you can help them.
I’m an old guy, but I can’t tell you how fast the generation gaps evaporate when musicians start talking. Decades don’t matter when you are talking about your favorite music.
Music is such a great contributor to society, that I can’t believe the MAGA Nazis haven’t tried to ban it yet.
I’ll kind of kick this off with a common answer. Activities that you enjoy doing and finding where people are that do them.
Meaning, if you like to hike… check and see if there are any hiking areas, groups or meetups. Go check out the scene and see if you can strike up a conversation with someone.
I think it would be difficult to just walk into a random situation and expect to make friends. Then again, I’ve never tried that so maybe it could work 🤷🙂
Worked for mW through more than half a dozen schools growing up. I’d scan the lunch room. Plot down next to what appeared to be the cool kids. Talk my way in a little at a time. Learn some names. They get familiar seeing your face each day. Then your basically in.
Adding to what other people said there’s volunteering for a cause you care about. It’s a great way to meet other people that share your values… be it helping with preparing meals for the unhoused, cleaning public spaces, planting trees, bothering your politicians, reading to elderly/kids/dogs, holding newborns without caretakers in hospitals, etc… look for your local organizations and reach out :)
The two that I have had the most success were both hobbies I enjoyed that had a regular group that happens weekly. One was an in person weekly DnD game at a local game shop. It was great to chat about TTRPGs DnD and other nerdy things with everyone since I loved it. (It was in Chicago and few of the older people played with Gygax which was awesome.)
The second was a weekly distance running group that I am still kind of a part of. We run for an hour for a similar route and then go out for pizza. It was great to chat with whoever was my own speed. when running and then with everyone for food afterwards. I do some endurance sports and it was fun to hear about all the crazy things the really good ones did.
Both were weekly, in person and were things I was interested about. These are the key
disc golf or board games!
For active things there’s hiking, biking, running, climbing or whatever groups and clubs. A lot of that ends up being very social. Also, you can try different things until you find a group or activity you gel with.
There are likely different group games at your local game shop. Cultures will vary widely by location.
Church is a good place to meet people if you are so inclined. Some of them are full of activities and committees and such.
People often recommend live music shows in these kinds of questions. I do think that’s been true for me but I’m a “dance like no one’s watching” type of audience member.
The gym is a pretty social place if you go a lot and spend a long time there. Powerlifting is fun, easy to get into (if you’re already at the gym) and lends itself to long workouts where you talk to people between sets.
I do like local live music shows for that if you’re into local music, especially if you hit up the same venue every week for a bit. You’ll meet the other regulars.
A buddy of mine goes to karaoke every week, rain or shine. He moved to a new place a few years ago and within a couple of months he already had a group that he could hang out with elsewhere.
Karaoke is a good one. I’ll add trivia to that as far as bar things go. I’m impressed by people who do Karaoke. I think of myself as outgoing but that’s another level to me.
Oh, and I just read your username. We’ve played the White Oak Music Hall if your name is a reference to Houston. Used to play Acadia back when it was open.
That’s cool you’ve played White Oak. Cool venue with a lot of good bands coming through all the time.
Oh trivia is great as well! There are a few other things depending on inclination. Some of the local joints here do paint and sip, line dancing, salsa dancing, wine pairing potlucks, and a bunch of other activities. If you add in breweries or distilleries you can find even more stuff.
But I say that knowing bars aren’t for everyone for a variety of reasons. Not every area has breweries and distilleries.
And yeah, karaoke is a different level of outgoing. I enjoy it in small doses and will fill in as the KDJ if someone needs me to, but doing that every week (or 3 times a week like some of these folks) is a bit much for me, and that’s coming from a dude who has a hobby of playing music in bars.
