• pyre@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    i actually wasn’t talking about men vs women; i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day… but apparently some trans people who start taking T can get overwhelmed with how much it horns them up so i don’t know; maybe it’s anecdotally true even.

    other than that I’ve always believed it’s (at least mostly) social conditioning though.

    edit: i got too excited to clarify that i forgot to check your link before i responded. i gotta say it’s not really challenging the idea (that I wasn’t trying to suggest originally).

    first of all it says

    On average, men have higher sex drives, but about a third of women have a higher sex drive than the average male.

    so it’s already suggesting that it’s not a myth.

    second of all the way it phrases things seems to target people who don’t understand what averages are: it gives as an example on average men are taller but there are women who are taller than men. well duh… that’s how averages vs exceptions work. that doesn’t mean “neither is taller, it’s totally random” it still means men are taller on average.

    of course if the rates it gives are true, the exception being a third of women is quite significant.

    • dandelion (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      8 hours ago

      There are a few clarifications I would like to make:

      Having an erection does not require the person to have sex, and is not the same as being horny or desiring sex.

      Having a penis does not guarantee you have erections (let alone involuntary erections, which is what you seem to be talking about). People with penises who are testosterone dominant do have involuntary erections, but even so, see my first point for why that’s not relevant.

      Your claim was about being horny being a bigger problem for people with penises, which is a fair assumption but has more to do with testosterone than the penis (like you’ve pointed out, trans men can be very horny without a “penis” - though it should be noted here that male and female genitalia are more similar than dissimilar and have the same structures of a phallus and glans, just in different configurations).

      so it’s already suggesting that it’s not a myth.

      The myth is the belief that men are horny while women are not, the reality is that it varies significantly by person. with significant overlap between the sexes. There is a difference on average, but it’s not as large or total as people commonly believe.

      And finally, as you have pointed out the social context will skew the data significantly with fewer women being comfortable with sex than men, fewer women having learned to masturbate than men, and fewer women willing to discuss or disclose their sexual feelings or behavior than men. These differences in how sex is treated socially means whatever biological differences there are is muddled, especially when what was measured was self-reporting on frequency of masturbation. It’s possible that men and women are far more similar than dissimilar than even the current evidence we have points to.

    • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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      19 hours ago

      i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day…

      Actually this is really good place to share the knowledge I’m too embarrassed to share irl!!

      I’m trans (MTF) and it doesn’t really happen randomly the same way it did before hormones. The only time I get an erection is when I try to, and even then sometimes it’s difficult 🥲.

      You are essentially required* to masturbate 1 or 2 times a week or else the tissue will disintegrate due to not being used, ‘morning wood’ is what the body does naturally to stop this but on Estrogen it doesn’t happen. Some choose to apply testosterone gel to help in this, but it hasn’t been an issue for me.

      Also with decreased labido it’s really easy to forget about it and apparently hurts when you do it again which I’m kinda scared of tbh.

      *‘required’ is subjective, but it’s not really reversible and also a working penis is ideal for getting bottom surgery and most people want to have good chances for bottom surgery …also sex too lol

    • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      It’s very much like height, where it’s correlated, but not restricted to people with lots of testosterone (more relevant than having a dick). And it really sucks being Trijntje Keever.

        • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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          18 hours ago

          Dicks are normally more visible when aroused, but vaginas sometimes make it look like you’ve pissed yourself. Appearance aside, wet underwear is pretty uncomfortable and can lead to skin irritations. As to why the place that gets wet is the same place that grows coarse hair and slightly moves whenever you walk? Curse of Eve, I guess.

          It might just be that the grass is greener, but I’d prefer to tuck an erection into my waistband than deal with soaked underwear. Absolutely no envy about balls though, they seem very uncomfortable all around.

          • pyre@lemmy.world
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            17 hours ago

            oh no contest about preference; i already said elsewhere that I’d rather have a never ending erection forever rather than have one period.