I’m often disappointed with myself when I’m angry. It feels like, “a stronger person wouldn’t be mad at this” or “I’m fragile/insecure”. Anger has been the hardest emotion to live with; it just feels wrong.
I always need external validation from others during/after anger. And worse, I need an endless supply of it.
Learning to validate myself is the obvious solution but I don’t have a clue where to start. A self-help book would just sit on a shelf. Do you have any tips?
My aunt is getting older, and although she’s been a caretaker her whole life she’s now in a position of beneficiary rather than benefactor. It’s been hard for her. She’s often frustrated or antagonistic. She rents a room from me and sometimes uses her access to be invasive, such as reading through others’ mail or trash contents.
In my childhood I would have fought her. My first thought is “How dare you” but with a little work I understand where her behavior comes from: she’s trying to get some power back. It’s painful for her to be powerless in old age.
Forgiving her and giving her the same grace I give others has been a challenge. I’m glad I have this now