Let yourself be cringe sometimes. Understand that learning how to be yourself is an active skill, as is learning how and when to wear a more socially appropriate mask (because “just be yourself” is overly idealistic advice that can end up being demoralising).
It’s okay to struggle. Adults will often tell teenagers that whatever they’re struggling with doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of it all, and that’s incredibly isolating to hear, even if it’s true. Certainly, the problems that I grapple with now are objectively far larger and weightier than what felt world-ending to me as a teenager, but what’s the point in emphasising objectivity when we experience everything through our own subjective experience?
My life is objectively more difficult than it was when I was younger, but despite this, I would never choose to go back and re-experience my teenage years. I was miserable back then, and as an adult, I relish the power that I have to make my own choices, even if that power comes with a whole host of responsibilities. I know it’s cheesy and trite to say “it gets better” (especially because that frames improvement as inevitable, which feels hollow), but for some people, it does get better — it did for me.
So let yourself be messy sometimes, and recognise that your struggles are valid, no matter what they are. It’s a lot of pressure to be your age — society seems to expect teenagers to know what they want from life, which is silly to me, given that many adults don’t know what they want. No matter how thoroughly you plan, there will be things you simply can’t plan for — some good, some bad. Give yourself space to grow, and you’ll make it easier for life’s surprises to be good ones.
And finally, the big secret about adulthood is that no-one really knows what they’re doing. Realising this is terrifying, but liberating. I might not always know how to best support you, and you might not know what help to ask for when you’re struggling, but we can figure that out together. Just try to hang in there — as a fellow human who feels overwhelmed by the world, I’m here with you.
Let yourself be cringe sometimes. Understand that learning how to be yourself is an active skill, as is learning how and when to wear a more socially appropriate mask (because “just be yourself” is overly idealistic advice that can end up being demoralising).
It’s okay to struggle. Adults will often tell teenagers that whatever they’re struggling with doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of it all, and that’s incredibly isolating to hear, even if it’s true. Certainly, the problems that I grapple with now are objectively far larger and weightier than what felt world-ending to me as a teenager, but what’s the point in emphasising objectivity when we experience everything through our own subjective experience?
My life is objectively more difficult than it was when I was younger, but despite this, I would never choose to go back and re-experience my teenage years. I was miserable back then, and as an adult, I relish the power that I have to make my own choices, even if that power comes with a whole host of responsibilities. I know it’s cheesy and trite to say “it gets better” (especially because that frames improvement as inevitable, which feels hollow), but for some people, it does get better — it did for me.
So let yourself be messy sometimes, and recognise that your struggles are valid, no matter what they are. It’s a lot of pressure to be your age — society seems to expect teenagers to know what they want from life, which is silly to me, given that many adults don’t know what they want. No matter how thoroughly you plan, there will be things you simply can’t plan for — some good, some bad. Give yourself space to grow, and you’ll make it easier for life’s surprises to be good ones.
And finally, the big secret about adulthood is that no-one really knows what they’re doing. Realising this is terrifying, but liberating. I might not always know how to best support you, and you might not know what help to ask for when you’re struggling, but we can figure that out together. Just try to hang in there — as a fellow human who feels overwhelmed by the world, I’m here with you.