Don’t worry it will be over soon.
Never. Start. Smoking. I know it’s really obvious advice, but after you smoke cigarettes for the first time, it’s so fucking easy to become a smoker and saying no is infinitely harder. Nicotine is a removed.
Let yourself be cringe sometimes. Understand that learning how to be yourself is an active skill, as is learning how and when to wear a more socially appropriate mask (because “just be yourself” is overly idealistic advice that can end up being demoralising).
It’s okay to struggle. Adults will often tell teenagers that whatever they’re struggling with doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of it all, and that’s incredibly isolating to hear, even if it’s true. Certainly, the problems that I grapple with now are objectively far larger and weightier than what felt world-ending to me as a teenager, but what’s the point in emphasising objectivity when we experience everything through our own subjective experience?
My life is objectively more difficult than it was when I was younger, but despite this, I would never choose to go back and re-experience my teenage years. I was miserable back then, and as an adult, I relish the power that I have to make my own choices, even if that power comes with a whole host of responsibilities. I know it’s cheesy and trite to say “it gets better” (especially because that frames improvement as inevitable, which feels hollow), but for some people, it does get better — it did for me.
So let yourself be messy sometimes, and recognise that your struggles are valid, no matter what they are. It’s a lot of pressure to be your age — society seems to expect teenagers to know what they want from life, which is silly to me, given that many adults don’t know what they want. No matter how thoroughly you plan, there will be things you simply can’t plan for — some good, some bad. Give yourself space to grow, and you’ll make it easier for life’s surprises to be good ones.
And finally, the big secret about adulthood is that no-one really knows what they’re doing. Realising this is terrifying, but liberating. I might not always know how to best support you, and you might not know what help to ask for when you’re struggling, but we can figure that out together. Just try to hang in there — as a fellow human who feels overwhelmed by the world, I’m here with you.
Practice your critical thinking skills now.
Get off instagram and tiktok
Second this.
How?
Apparently, 6 years ago, some duche picked up my phone. I forced myself to use a burner due to utter stupidity of leaving my phone in the first place for about 2 weeks.
They were the most peaceful two weeks of my life!
I could hear myself think again, I slept early, which made my 9to5 fully present and focused. I started engaging with people, got heartbroken for that, maybe my fault, point is, I started feeling the air as I breathed in and out.
So liberating.
Good guy Greg, stealing your phone to help with your addiction.
Dude, I was so pissed at myself, only to find out it was addiction, I could always buy a new phone.
Do teenagers still use Facebook? That too.
stop caring what people you don’t even like think of you
it was a serious moment of clarity for me at 14
- Workout. Doesn’t have to be a lot but be consistent
- No matter what everyone says, keep on learning.
- Try to be in contact with your close friends
- Don’t compare yourself to someone else. There will always be someone better.
- Develop some hobbies which doesn’t involve a mobile phone or other people
- Read books. Even two books a year is great.
- Don’t do drugs or smoke. It’s not worth it.
Expanding on your first point, be aware of the difference between “workout” and “work out”.
“Workout” is a noun. “Work out” is a verb. You can tell because you can conjugate the verb without having to split it apart.
“He works out”, and not “He workouts” or “He worksout”. That’s how you know it needs a space.
You can tell the one without a space is a noun because you can pluralize it. “Arm workouts for women”.
As a bonus: “Every day” means “each and every day”. “Everyday” means “typical”, like for clothing.
You could have “everyday clothes”. But you don’t “work out everyday” – you work out every day.
It’s funny when someone says “i workout everyday” thinking they wrote three words, yet they made three spelling/grammar mistakes. Even monolingual English speakers make these kinds of mistakes.
I know the difference instinctively but i think i may have written it wrong in many places. “I’ll add this exercise to my workout” vs “We should work out more”.
Thanks for the detailed explanation.
The workout part 😅
Edit: okay, I’ll man up
Enjoy your life, studying is free, you probably won’t be a radically different person as an adult, so don’t be ashamed of who you are.
If you have ADHD, never quit taking your meds
Best thing I ever did for me personally. Feeding kids meth makes them crazy, go figure. I seriously thingk taking Adderall every day fried something in my brain when it was developing. I flushed them all down the toilet when I was like 19.
Most over-diagnosed thing ever.
The greatest temptation is to use ALL the old school phrases that we got as kids. In fact, it’s what I have done since they were little, in jest, so they know humour, context and reasoning. Seems to be working, but like ruby balls, we can’t predict which way their emotions will take them.
Fail fast and fail forward. Don’t be afraid to start, be afraid of looking back having never done anything. Regret is poison.
Learn what the pareto principle is and live by it. Be efficient.
When life gets hard focus on what’s in front of you not on the world, ideology, news, thats all distraction. Learn to stay in the moment, what’s right here, right now, infront of you.
Cherish loved ones. Focus on your health now. Your health can be gone at a moments notice, life is about balance. Every action has a reaction.
Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses. You have infinite weaknesses. Your strengths will be your lynchpin at times.
Always be curious. Don’t lose the will to learn and ask questions. Knowledge is everything.
Always stay moving physically that is biggest key to health diet and exercise and good sleep. Stay doing something productive. Being idle is the devils playground.
Listen to your gut during times of uncertainty. Trust very little of others. Words mean nothing. Actions never lie.
Never stop learning. Life is an adventure.
Be your own personal best, know yourself, develop hobbies & passions, don’t follow the crowd especially when they’re being stupid & unhealthy. Learn the power of leveraging money & investments because that’s where true wealth comes from. A little hard smart work. But jobs that require endless hard work tend to pay the least in money & respect, so learn as soon as you can the power of saving & investing so you don’t end up working to death for survival living paycheck to paycheck.
If it makes you happy it’s cool. Cringe is defined arbitrarily and means nothing. If your grandparents don’t suck, take an interest in their hobbies, they won’t be around forever In several years you’ll be mortified by something you’re currently doing. Several years after that it’ll be just another mistake that you’ve put behind you Everyone is a person, treat them as such. Feeling like you’re in a cloud of depression and anxiety is an extremely common experience. Help is available. You are not doomed. You should get really into The Mountain Goats. If you’re a guy, make friends with girls without any ulterior motives. Trust no influencer.
-Get off social media, comparison is the thief of joy. People post their best moments and they make them look better than they are in reality. It’ll make you feel bad or FOMO and subconsciously damage your confidence and happiness. The insidious thing is even though we all know social media is fake, our lizard brain deep down doesn’t so even though you know it’s all bullshit your subconscious reads it as real. Best thing to do is to get off it completely but that can be impossible socially so limit your time and exposure to it. Use it to make real world plans with friends and then call it quits for the day.
-You’re young, now is the best time to increase your bone density! Work out, lift weights, train with a weighted vest. Do so safely and your bones will thank you, that way when you’re in your 80s you won’t be so brittle. A broken hip is a life changing event- and not for the better!
-Start to play a team sport, football, netball, hockey, baseball whatever. If you git gud now as teen you’ll have the confidence to join your chosen sports amateur club in whatever city or town you end up in though your life, it’s a cheat code. You get to move to a new place and immediately have 5+ mates who are local. That’s SO good. If you can’t find a team sport, try getting into running, and join a running club, same reason, but team sports are better for bonding.
