Looking for:

  • no misogynists (so dbzer0 is out)
  • no libertarians, no marxist lenninsts, no tankies, no rightwingers
  • people who understand climate change is real
  • leftists including anarchists, social democrats, democratic socialists, communists, etc are great

I picked world bc I was told it would have the most activity. Since joining Lemmy I have been repeatedly harassed by men on this instance, threatened with murder and rape by users including open Nazis (this was also happening on Reddit), and permabanned for being a woman, for being a feminist, and for not breaking any rules and posting factual news sources. Would like a better instance.

Have been considering solarpunk Lemmy but willing to consider other instances, just not sure

Eta: I’m looking for a recommendation of an instance, not your personal opinion on my experiences or feelings. If you are not going to give me the name of an instance you’d recommend, don’t comment.

Here’s a video where a man (Marxist economist) talks about deconstructing misogyny in his life: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPongiPj2wO/

Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/

• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.

• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.

• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.

• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.

Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine

During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).

Eta 2:

This user previously said very misogynistic things to me. They are now spam posting in here, bringing up rape and sexual harassment in a conversation where it was never mentioned by me, (so why is their mind jumping to THOSE words and why are they saying them?), telling me they don’t care if I consent, tagged by another user who has also taken screenshots and posted images of me in other instances, resulting in harassment of me. This is what I mean when I say it’s a boys’ club and you all don’t cultivate a culture worth being around.

One thing I didn’t want to be around was men covertly and overtly threatening rape. Why can’t that be respected?

Eta 3:

Here, since people are claiming Lemmy is a bastion of women’s rights and feminism, a list of some of the shit I have read with my own eyeballs:

https://lemmy.world/post/26165823/15375845

https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11677815

https://lemmy.world/post/18874743/11908818

https://lemmy.world/post/18874743/11897056

https://lemmy.world/post/21875585/13419221

https://lemmy.world/post/25442510/15028415

https://lemmy.world/post/21749661/13348174

https://lemmy.world/post/21754431/13338541

https://lemmy.world/post/21781371/13358254

https://lemmy.world/post/21781371/13357806

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13284141

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13281744

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13279402

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13279402

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13273356

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13305826

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13341403

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13343945

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13344248

https://lemmy.world/post/26165823/15387334

https://lemmy.world/post/21754485/13353851

https://lemmy.world/post/21719864/13314587

https://lemmy.world/post/21749661/13344854

https://lemmy.world/post/19955762/12467131

https://lemmy.world/post/21587225/13261160

https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11914214

https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11953701

https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11948206

https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11692679

https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11697513

https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11952571

https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11955324

https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11956772

https://lemmy.world/post/21706199/13308410

https://lemmy.world/post/15236868/9990734

https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12046901

https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12059630

https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12045644

https://lemmy.world/post/18173994/11513002

https://lemmy.world/post/18537428/11752735

https://lemmy.world/post/18537428/11769838

https://lemmy.world/post/18633431/11766518

https://lemmy.world/post/18641490/11789597

https://lemmy.world/post/18752556/11824223

https://lemmy.world/post/21754485/13359659

https://lemmy.world/post/21754485/13368360

https://lemmy.world/post/22307747/13595832

Eta 4: after reviewing this list (which didn’t even include all the advocacy for genocide here, advocacy to remove the right to vote and ither civil rights, blatant racism, hatred of homelessness, and more), I have decided Lemmy and most of the users here aren’t worth my time. Independent small forums on individual websites are more defederated and have less bots. Maybe I’ll change my mind and join solarpunk/piefed, but probably not. Bye, Lemmy, you were pretty abusive and horrible. I have better arguments on Bluesky about the literal same topics, with a smaller character limit. Have fun in WW3. No more warnings coming from me. May you all be treated exactly how you treat women.

  • Gorilladrums@lemmy.world
    161·
    2 days ago

    Damn, she got exposed lmao. You’re doing the lord’s work be sharing this with the community, thank you.

    • LustyArgonian@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      17·
      17 hours ago

      Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/

      • You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.

      • Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.

      • To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.

      • Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.

      Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine

      During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).

    • LustyArgonian@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      111·
      2 days ago

      Exposed for things I openly talked about in my first comment? Doing the lord’s work for not putting the comments I was responding to? Enlightened centrism supporting the status quo of the patriarchy once again, and women better shut up and get in line, huh?

                • LustyArgonian@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
                  12·
                  6 hours ago

                  I never claimed that, go away.

                  That YOU have brought up sexual harassment and rape unprompted in this conversation is you trying to weaponize misogyny, threatening me with both while looking like you have clean hands. You aren’t clever.

            • LustyArgonian@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
              14·
              6 hours ago

              Thanks, @Flatworm7591@lemmy.dbzer0.com , that was so helpful you tagged him here for him to say blatantly misogynistic stuff like this (and no, he would never say this to anyone but women). It was TOTALLY NECESSARY to answer my question of “which instance would you recommend to GET AWAY FROM THESE USERS?”

              He’s now bringing up sexual harassment and rape and nonconsent as “funny” gotchyas. Thanks! I explicitly said in the OP the rape threats (even closeted ones where someone is “joking”) are the reason I want to leave. So glad he could provide that in this thread to prove my point. Why would he bring up sexual harassment and rape as jokes when I tell him I don’t want to talk to him? Why is a conversation around consent and emotional boundaries being taken to sexual harassment and rape territory right away? Especially against someone who has stated they have trauma around this?

              But yeah, obviously I’m the issue.