Looking for:

  • no misogynists (so dbzer0 is out)
  • no libertarians, no marxist lenninsts, no tankies, no rightwingers
  • people who understand climate change is real
  • leftists including anarchists, social democrats, democratic socialists, communists, etc are great

I picked world bc I was told it would have the most activity. Since joining Lemmy I have been repeatedly harassed by men on this instance, threatened with murder and rape by users including open Nazis (this was also happening on Reddit), and permabanned for being a woman, for being a feminist, and for not breaking any rules and posting factual news sources. Would like a better instance.

Have been considering solarpunk Lemmy but willing to consider other instances, just not sure

Eta: I’m looking for a recommendation of an instance, not your personal opinion on my experiences or feelings. If you are not going to give me the name of an instance you’d recommend, don’t comment.

Here’s a video where a man (Marxist economist) talks about deconstructing misogyny in his life: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPongiPj2wO/

Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/

• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.

• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.

• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.

• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.

Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine

During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).

Eta 2:

This user previously said very misogynistic things to me. They are now spam posting in here, bringing up rape and sexual harassment in a conversation where it was never mentioned by me, (so why is their mind jumping to THOSE words and why are they saying them?), telling me they don’t care if I consent, tagged by another user who has also taken screenshots and posted images of me in other instances, resulting in harassment of me. This is what I mean when I say it’s a boys’ club and you all don’t cultivate a culture worth being around.

One thing I didn’t want to be around was men covertly and overtly threatening rape. Why can’t that be respected?

Eta 3:

Here, since people are claiming Lemmy is a bastion of women’s rights and feminism, a list of some of the shit I have read with my own eyeballs:

https://lemmy.world/post/26165823/15375845

https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11677815

https://lemmy.world/post/18874743/11908818

https://lemmy.world/post/18874743/11897056

https://lemmy.world/post/21875585/13419221

https://lemmy.world/post/25442510/15028415

https://lemmy.world/post/21749661/13348174

https://lemmy.world/post/21754431/13338541

https://lemmy.world/post/21781371/13358254

https://lemmy.world/post/21781371/13357806

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13284141

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13281744

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13279402

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13279402

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13273356

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13305826

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13341403

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13343945

https://lemmy.world/post/21644699/13344248

https://lemmy.world/post/26165823/15387334

https://lemmy.world/post/21754485/13353851

https://lemmy.world/post/21719864/13314587

https://lemmy.world/post/21749661/13344854

https://lemmy.world/post/19955762/12467131

https://lemmy.world/post/21587225/13261160

https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11914214

https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11953701

https://lemmy.world/post/18885944/11948206

https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11692679

https://lemmy.world/post/18418589/11697513

https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11952571

https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11955324

https://lemmy.world/post/18941154/11956772

https://lemmy.world/post/21706199/13308410

https://lemmy.world/post/15236868/9990734

https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12046901

https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12059630

https://lemmy.world/post/19163039/12045644

https://lemmy.world/post/18173994/11513002

https://lemmy.world/post/18537428/11752735

https://lemmy.world/post/18537428/11769838

https://lemmy.world/post/18633431/11766518

https://lemmy.world/post/18641490/11789597

https://lemmy.world/post/18752556/11824223

https://lemmy.world/post/21754485/13359659

https://lemmy.world/post/21754485/13368360

https://lemmy.world/post/22307747/13595832

Eta 4: after reviewing this list (which didn’t even include all the advocacy for genocide here, advocacy to remove the right to vote and ither civil rights, blatant racism, hatred of homelessness, and more), I have decided Lemmy and most of the users here aren’t worth my time. Independent small forums on individual websites are more defederated and have less bots. Maybe I’ll change my mind and join solarpunk/piefed, but probably not. Bye, Lemmy, you were pretty abusive and horrible. I have better arguments on Bluesky about the literal same topics, with a smaller character limit. Have fun in WW3. No more warnings coming from me. May you all be treated exactly how you treat women.

  • Unruffled [they/them]@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    21·
    9 hours ago

    This is the relevant link I think: https://lemmy.world/post/32343339/18042041

    I totally get that Lemmy and the internet in general (and society in general) isn’t as welcoming for women as it is for men, so I can totally empathize with where you are coming from here.

    You cant even acknowledge that he [Trump] may seize fascist control of Wikipedia lol. You’re weak mentally, you aren’t going to war against anything. We can all see that. The men in this country are the most shameful, disappointing, pathetic things I’ve ever witnessed.

    First, if you want me to remove the site tagline with your quote, I’ll be happy to do so. Just let me know. Adding it really had nothing whatsoever to do with misogyny though - I added it because I [mostly] agree with the sentiment. I definitely enjoyed your hyperbolic turn of phrase. I also thought it would be a good fit with our other taglines. Did I also find it amusing? Yes, gotta admit, but a lot of our taglines get chosen because they are also funny in some way. In this case what was funny (to me) was the hyperbole, not the core message, and not the fact you are a woman. You can choose to believe that or not, of course, but I genuinely wasn’t coming from that place.

    Having read through the original thread, I don’t think things went down quite as you have characterized it either. It looks like you accidentally replied to one of our users (@_cryptagion@anarchist.nexus) comments instead of replying to the OP. So that’s how you got into the conversation with him in the first place. Then, you got angry with him when he mentioned we had used one of your comments as a tagline, made a bunch of assumptions about the reason why, and then started misgendering him for some reason? The removed comment was “eat shit” btw.

    • LustyArgonian@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      11·
      7 hours ago

      Yes, remove it.

      I already posted that link to thr full thread itt multiple times

      I did not accidentally respond, I was piggybacking off his comment to bring up my bad experiences with a mod that others were talking about - I was agreeing with him that that mod is an issue. Therefore, the only thing in my comment that would have invoked a hostile response is the content of it that he DOESN’T agree with:

      please fire the mod who is abusing their power to be sexist against women with opinions.

      Out of nowhere HE chose to respond with telling me I am “infamous” due to a meme. Learn to read, it was open hostility. Just like he chose to do here in this thread because you tagged him and summoned him, bringing someone who harasses me here (thanks!). Stop giving men the generous interpretation and women the short stick automatically - that is misogyny. This is also why you are unqualified to discuss feminist topics as if you can determine what is and isn’t misogyny.

      Last, no. It’s harassment or he wouldn’t say “infamous” about a post criticizing men and their inaction during fascist takeover (stop gaslighting). If he is going to treat women like shit and push the patriarchy, then it can be reflected back at him. You know immediately what wounds fascists by what they police and hate, and it’s fine to use that speech against them - so you can get them to agree that the patriarchy is bad and NO ONE should be enforcing gender roles on others. That’s the point.

      I get that this is your attempt to save face though. It doesn’t work to gaslight women who know your stupid lies and tricks. I noticed the lack of apology for the impact of what you did regardless of intent.

      https://harpers.org/archive/1941/08/who-goes-nazi/

      • Unruffled [they/them]@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        11·
        1 hour ago

        Out of nowhere HE chose to respond with telling me I am “infamous” due to a meme. Learn to read, it was open hostility.

        I accept you experienced it as misogyny. But it looks to me like he only replied to you because you replied to him first. It was hardly “out of nowhere”.

        Last, no. It’s harassment or he wouldn’t say “infamous” about a post criticizing men and their inaction during fascist takeover (stop gaslighting).

        Imo it’s your hyperbolic language that has made you rather infamous around Lemmy. Not the fact you are a woman. And I have no problem with the language you use - a bit of hyperbole often makes the point more impactful.

        If he is going to treat women like shit and push the patriarchy, then it can be reflected back at him.

        That’s a hypothetical. Yes, IF he did that then I’d completely agree with you. I just don’t agree with you that’s what happened.

        You know immediately what wounds fascists by what they police and hate, and it’s fine to use that speech against them - so you can get them to agree that the patriarchy is bad and NO ONE should be enforcing gender roles on others. That’s the point.

        The fact you are slinging words like ‘fascist’ around at _cryptagion tells me either you haven’t bothered to read his post/comment history before making the accusation. He’s one of those antifa types you libs love to hate on.

        I get that this is your attempt to save face though. It doesn’t work to gaslight women who know your stupid lies and tricks. I noticed the lack of apology for the impact of what you did regardless of intent. https://harpers.org/archive/1941/08/who-goes-nazi/

        I do apologize for posting your comment as a tagline, and I have removed it since that’s what you asked me to do. Beyond that I don’t think there’s much to discuss.

        • LustyArgonian@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
          1·
          40 minutes ago

          https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPongiPj2wO/

          This is why the misogyny is invisible to you. You’re like the interviewer in this clip, giggling and laughing and unaware. Yanis speaks here about Marxism and how it inherently connects to feminism - sexism in leftist spaces is a major issue. That’s the person you’re defending, and I looked through his account - he doesn’t care about women at all. At least 10 pages deep and he has never said anything to support or help women at all. What a fucking comrade.

          I’m leaving Lemmy entirely. It’s genuinely a waste of my time to be here. Thanks for the gaslighting, harassment, and very ignorant takes, and supporting people who covertly threaten rape and sexual harassment and ignore consent.