In real life, if someone got a black hoodie and a mask and decided to “fight crime”, how successful would they be?

  • ameancow@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    Not very. The list of real-world obstacles is long, but there are a few top ones that leave super-heroes firmly in the world of fantasy. (Outside of a few edge-cases that others have listed here, people who really seem to have done small-time stunts for attention rather than a real effort to “fight crime.”)

    • Guns. The biggest obstacle in the US at least would be the high likelihood that the criminals you try to beat up, people already willing to break the law and victimize others, will just pull out a gun and shoot you in the face because you seem insane and threatening. Body armor may help with some shots from some angles and some calibers, but most likely you will go down even if it stops the bullet.

    • Getting your ass beat. I studied and taught self-defense and martial arts for well over a decade. The biggest lesson I learned from it is to NEVER get into a fight if you can at all help it. It doesn’t matter how big and tough you are, if you’re looking for a fight on the streets, you WILL get hurt. You will lose teeth, you will get maimed, you will get cut and stabbed, you will face off two people and one will trip you and you will end up with every rib in your body shattered. Every street fight ends up rolling around on the ground, do YOU want to end up on the ground with multiple people trying to kick your teeth in?

    • Finding a crime. If you’re really lucky you might see a hollywood-style crime in progress once in your life. The “group of robbers hijacking an armored car” type crimes are vastly outweighed by the “ex boyfriend uses his key and slips in while everyone is gone and takes the playstation and perfumes” type crimes. The vast majority of ALL crimes are between people who know each other or family members, how tf you gonna find that shit going down?

    • Cops. Their success rate at catching perpetrators and suspects is much lower than media would like you to believe, but they’re generally going to be better armed, more organized and more capable of finding and arresting your ass. They don’t take kindly to nutcases on the street upstaging them or causing public disturbances.

    Let’s say you prepare. Let’s say you train and be the best fighter in the world. Let’s say you get money or investors who help you develop the highest-level meta-material alloy armors and weapons and electronics. A million dollars in advanced optics, ballistic armor that lets you move freely, drones that fly around and scout for you, machine-gun tasers or knockout-gas bombs and rope-bola launchers that let you trip up bad guys before they even get close… you still trip on a curb and get your ass beat and your gear stolen, because running around the streets in the dark is fucking hard and you are still always just going to be a lone human made of squishy meat and with limited capabilities.