If it’s the actual Bavarian Illuminati, then they probably picked you as a credulous, deep-pocketed nobleman who can be pumped for membership dues in return for initiation to an endless ladder of degrees, each revealing profoundly esoteric secrets which don’t actually mean anything. If you’re one of a handful who show themselves to be sceptical and open-minded, perhaps Adam Weishaupt will take you aside and reveal that all that woo was just bullshit to part the rubes from their money, and the true mission of the Illuminati is to spread Enlightenment ideals, such as secularism and anti-monarchism, which the authorities take a very dim view of.
If it’s the actual Bavarian Illuminati, then they probably picked you as a credulous, deep-pocketed nobleman who can be pumped for membership dues in return for initiation to an endless ladder of degrees, each revealing profoundly esoteric secrets which don’t actually mean anything. If you’re one of a handful who show themselves to be sceptical and open-minded, perhaps Adam Weishaupt will take you aside and reveal that all that woo was just bullshit to part the rubes from their money, and the true mission of the Illuminati is to spread Enlightenment ideals, such as secularism and anti-monarchism, which the authorities take a very dim view of.
Tell me more of this anti monarchism thing, my credit card number is 5683 3692 3539 1643
Nice try, officer.
Can you also tell us your date of birth? We want to wish you happy birthday!
Also your next of kin just in case we find you unwell,
And maybe your pet’s name? We want to give it something too!
Maybe your credit card has some numbers in the back? We’re doing a lucky draw for the one with the special card!
But we need to know your card is valid, so the expiry date will help. We know you want to help!
Well, they didn’t do their homework. Not german, not noble, my pockets are shallow.
Though their orginal purpose wasn’t terrible, they don’t have agitators anymore.