I took the “asshole” as a simplified example. It’s a stand in for all kinds of bad behaviour. Behaving badly isn’t a personality type, it’s bad behaviour and nothing else.

If you don’t understand why you come across as condescending, ask about specific situations and actions that make you seem condescending. Often it’s something as simple as a choice of words or the way you talk about others. That’s usually quite easy to adjust, without denying who you are.