I’ve been with my boyfriend since 2024. Our relationship has to be on the down low / an open secret because dating isn’t permissible among his people. His family says they really like me, but they’d never accept me as his wife since I’m not Arab, maybe as a second wife, but the first wife has to be someone they approve of. I don’t want to be a second wife. I’m with him despite all of this because he treats me great, fucks me good, and gets me (he’s very open-minded and chill, and I feel fully comfortable with him). But I know he won’t go against his family for me because of $$$.
The answer to your question is a resounding no but you both need to be on the same page. Is there any real risk of you developing deeper feelings that will hurt you in the future if/when you’re cast aside? Are you ready to be cast aside on terms that are not your own if his parents decided it’s time for him to get serious? Would you be comfortable with going from his priority to a distraction in one fell swoop when things get real? Would you simply end the relationship at that point?
If you feel respected by him and his family and you’re cool with it not going any further / potentially ending abruptly then sounds like you’re okay with the circumstances.
You’re in a relationship with a guaranteed expiry date. Traditionally relationships were a means to an end (marriage), now they can be much more sophisticated. Are you truly satisfied with terms of your relationship and most likely outcomes?
If there were a person who treats you great, fucks you good and gets you but also could be a long term partner, would you rather be in that situation? Do you think you’re wasting time by not looking for that person? Is not the oppurtunity cost of this relationship too high if that’s the case? Is there a part of you that feels your investment in this relationship is a sunk cost that makes it difficult to look for alternatives?
It really comes down to whether you want a long term relationship or not. If that’s not a priority to you then you’re fine. If it is, then you may be passing on something even better and you need to decide if it’s time to go look for that.