They’ll defend the pedophiles and billionaires*, as usual.

*Whoops, sorry for what seems like redundancy more and more.

Can we fucking secede already?*

*I’m not even sure how much of that statement is a joke anymore.

We worship brands in this country, young man. You call yourself a Tylenol-American or you can’t have any dessert.

White Anglo Saxon Protestant

Don’t worry; even if he does, his deal with the devil will ensure he survives. I’m convinced it’s the only reason the hamberders haven’t done their job.

I’m guessing you’re located in the US, based on the location of the schools. I recommend presenting your husband with statistics regarding the amount of money a single income household needs compared to what jobs meet those needs. Most jobs in this country don’t provide a livable single wage, let alone family wage, and this is only getting worse with inflation. The likelihood of your daughter finding a husband who can take care of her without her help nowadays is extremely slim. It’s possible, but to count on that is very dumb.

Your husband sounds very out of touch.

You need to have a serious conversation with your husband about how he is setting her up to fail by giving her whatever she wants. She’s a child; he’s an adult and should know better.

Who is this supposed to be? I can’t tell because the face is a normal size.

This one seems to be fully cooked (with some burned spots) on top and raw on the underside, so I’m not sure what happened with OP’s recipe.

You might say “I don’t give a shit” if they do.

Just a thought.

I think that’s the age I’ll turn next, but I kinda stopped remembering/caring once I hit 30. My advice is to not remember how old you are so that you have to do math to figure it out; that should discourage your friend from being bothered by how old he is. Instead, he can be bothered by the fact that he can never remember his own age. ;P

I’m worried that might create a second one. Can he fuck off and die, instead? I’ve been waiting for the McDonald’s to do its job already.

I am not throwin’ away my pot! 🎵

This would be hilarious if it were a joke. As reality, this is just horrific. Seems about right for the current timeline. :(

I’m sorry, did you say “too much” of those gorgeous toppings? No such thing. That looks so yummy that I’m 95% sure I’d unintentionally eat myself into a food coma.

Mid-30s woman here, from western US. I call my mom any of the following, depending on mood/context:

• Mom
• Mommy
• Mama
• Ma (definitely can become Maaaaa at times)
• Uma
• Mother (usually in a jokingly stern tone)
• Her name (when she’s being particularly deaf)

On the bright side, that means the horse can continue the torture forever. Autocorrect is a mean bastard, but I’m thinking this one’s not so bad.

Yes, last I’d heard the rapist Brock Allen Turner was going by Allen Turner. That rapist.

This…pretty much describes the Democratic Party in general: mostly full of people who, by the standards 20 years ago, would’ve had an R by their names.

Both parties are a cancer at this point.

Absolutely disgusting. Our common ancestors are rolling over in their graves at their inhumanity.