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blondie: “your colleague ratted on you, said you were selling these for high margins.”
manager: “h-he said that?”
blondie: “he practically sang, and now he’s dead. We can put it all on him and call it a day, or I can tell the feds that you were the mastermind behind the whole show.”
manager: *sweats*
blue shirt: “w-we just… we just need a price. Please.”
One short story explains the other
I was gonna ask why the reporter is wearing sunglasses indoors, but then I noticed the teeth
Is it not the 5 course dinner kicking in?
Me: “I must go now, my planet needs me.”
Them: “Don’t you live on Earth?”
Me: (already outside)
I stand throbbingly by my statement
1·1 month agoIm an anything bird - by that I mean that caffeine dictates my schedule.
If I work UK timezones, then my last coffee is at 3pm and I’m in bed by 11:59pm and up at 8ish.
If I work US timezones, then my last coffee is at 8pm and I’m in bed by 4am and up at 12:01pm
1·2 months agoTook me a while to realise the witch didn’t have a goatee
141·2 months agooh I’d teach 'em modern english, and then dump a truck load of People’s Magazine’s outside their hut
Going for a hunt today? Can’t. Need to know what Janniston said to Branjelo on page 4
8·2 months agoUS and Russia would tear themselves apart internally. That leaves China with the largest functioning army, vs the EU if they can mobilize fast enough
2·2 months agoRelated American Dad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAn4aO3EKrY
7.5