When i was a child, i believed autopilot really worked like in the movie Airplane, that it was an inflatable dummy.
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My parents didn’t specifically tell me if Santa Clause was real or make-believe. They wanted me to come to my own conclusion, I guess. My dad is a rationalist person, and my mom’s from a culture that doesn’t traditionally celebrate Christmas.
So what I believed was that the appearance of presents on Christmas was an unsolved mystery, and Santa Clause was just a hypothesis to explain it.
I suspected the real explanation probably involved the tree working as an antenna for some kind of cosmic energy that triggered the appearance of presents. Perhaps in ancient and more superstitious times they discovered this phenomenon by accident and continued to put up the tree ever since.
Christmas tree as extraterrestrial cargo cult ritual. Holy shit that’s brilliant.
As a 53 year old man I’m going to START believing this. It’s awesome.
When I was a kid my dad would often pull up the NORAD Santa tracker on Christmas Eve, and that combined with seeing the film War Games at way too young of an age had me believing in Santa for much longer than I should have because “why else would the federal government devote so much money to tracking him?” I think it was specifically seeing the exact same animation of him being welcomed into a country by a pair of fighter jets for the third year in a row that finally killed that line of reasoning (because obviously the NORAD Santa tracker site is shot with television cameras or something)
Kid logic is wild
Santa Claus cargo cult
I thought Salvatia must be the poorest country in the world if even their army has to go around begging for money.
That is such a funny mental image.
That hiding candy (or other things people wanted) was a universal property of grandmothers.
English is not my first language, but I had heard the expression “search all nooks and crannies”, but thought the last word was grannies - cranny is an unusual word.
Now,my own grandmother was in the habit of hiding candy for us to find. I thought the expression existed because all grannies hid things. Search all nooks and grannies!
I now have the hilarious image in my head of a toddler giving their granny a pat down (image of one in case the term isn’t familiar to everyone), thanks! 😂
Unnecessary, I gave my grandma an ocular pat down the moment she walked in.
Love it.
I believed my hair would blow away with sufficient wind. And it basically did, it just took 30 more years
I thought that you would get your grandparents by just going into a train station and picking some random (preferably older person) to be your grandparent.
I was convinced that my parents had done that for me, and that’s why I had grandparents.
Wedding rings were there to show who was married and who was available. Once you wanted to get married, you just found a friendly person who didn’t have a ring, and then you asked if they’d marry you. I mean, that IS what happens I suppose, but my 8 year old brain played it out like someone asking a nice stranger for the time.
When adults said things like “In this day and age, nobody says please and thankyou any more”, I misinterpreted “this day and age” as “The Stayan Age”, which was our current age, which obviously followed on from Bronze Age, Iron Age etc.
I used to think that there was a country called Cyclopedia, that was full of all kinds of fascinating things. I had a book all about it called “In Cyclopedia”.
Ok this is adorable.
Not sure what age I was, maybe 4. I thought the music on the radio was live, that the musicians went to the radio station to sing and it was broadcast from there.
Yo thats so real. I thought music videos were people literally singing live while the beat just played in the background or something. I always felt something was off or that it was too hard to be legit, but couldn’t figure out what was really up😂
That adults had it figured out.
That average people actually care about anything but themselves.
That there is justice in the world.
Not me but really funny - when my mom was little she thought white people weren’t real. She thought they were made up for tv
I used to think those coins in the fountain at the mall were just money people wanted to get rid of. One day, little me tried getting away with a skirt full of coins and got in trouble.
I mean, to be fair, a coin on the ground is fair game, and they don’t make these “unspoken rules” clear enough, so I couldn’t imagine a coin in a fountain not being free to just pick up.
I thought propeller planes worked by spinning so fast that they temporarily moved the gravity out of the way so the plane could fly.
Someone needs to make this into an ms paint drawing.
Lemmy needs awards
I was always phlegmy and coughing as a kid so I became convinced I had diphtheria and would die soon, and thought it would be terrible to let my parents know this sad fact. Turns out it was because 1980s parenting meant smoking anywhere and everywhere at all times and cigarette smoke makes me ill.
Wow. When I started doing theatre in 1983 smoking was becoming evil. Restaurants were required to have nonsmoking sections. The drama instructor quit and was a militant anti-smoker.
Yes there was starting to be some pushback and health education, but most people still smoked at home, and literally everywhere in the home. Your child’s bedroom was fair game. It’s a terrible thing to be in the car in the winter with the windows rolled up and your parent chain smoking away until your eyes swell shut. I know an older nurse who used to work at the pediatric hospital, and she would follow the pediatrician on rounds with an ashtray as he rounded on these children, trying desperately to keep the ashes off the children.
That a blowjob involved the act of physically blowing air on the penis. When I found out it actually involved sucking, I was like, “Oooh…yeah that sounds much more pleasurable.”
I was so confused, I couldn’t imagine why people would enjoy that more than a “suckjob” or “headjob”. Turns out people just say whatever they want and it can mean anything.
In my language the expression is “jemandem einen blasen” (to blow one to someone) and I remember reading a long time ago about a story where a teenage girl (?) actually injured her boyfriend when she blew into the penis. Seems not to be a very good idea.
In our language it’s to ‘pull’ someone ot better “jemandem einen ziehen” as we are civilised and have grammatical cases such as dative. So I hope nobody got it confused and ripped of someone’s penis.
I still don’t get why it’s called that.
