• bleph@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Homie I’m sorry that happened.

    You might want to do some research on:

    • verbal abuse
    • narcissistic parent
    • low self esteem

    This is what I wish someone else told me.

    Good luck on your journey

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Thanks for the sympathy- my mom hasn’t been very emotionally stable for my whole life. She’s not perfect and sometimes I think she’s wrong, but I know she loves and cares about me

      • Contramuffin@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Oh, just because someone is abusive or unsupportive doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. It just means that their interactions aren’t healthy for you and you need to establish boundaries.

        Regardless, I hope that you’re doing well. I don’t know what your project is, but I can certainly tell you that it’s much more impressive than anything I’ve made

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 year ago

          That’s true, but I feel like the internet is quick to brand people having moments of failure as abusive. Nobody is perfect, and I can’t expect my parents to be perfect. Imo, calling my mom abusive is far too extreme.

          • Sivaru@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Yes, in this world there is no one who wants what is good for you more than your parents. Many people forget that, if your parents have problems, you need to take care of them.

            • bleph@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              I don’t agree with this in all cases.

              True, parents usually have a deeply ingrained emotional need to protect and nurture their children but:

              • Not all parents do. Narcissists have children all the time. When they do, they cloak their emotional vampirism in ‘love’ like they do in all relationships.
              • Even parents with the best intentions have to work HARD not to pass on their generational traumas, abuses, and bad habits.
              • Only the child can truly know what will fulfill them as a person. Parents often substitute what they wanted for their younger selves for the child’s best interest.

              For those still thinking I have no idea what I am talking about and you and your parents are different… please look into “enmeshment” for your own sake

      • redsol2@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I read a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. My mom is similar, and it gave me a lot of insight into why she behaves the way she does, and how I may have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. Highly recommend.

        • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 year ago

          I’ll look at it- I care about my mom a ton so it’s hard for me to criticize her. But, I also understand sometimes she doesn’t act in a supportive way

          • entropicdrift@lemmy.sdf.org
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            1 year ago

            You should at least recognize that you’re holding a double standard here: she’s able to criticize you all she wants yet you know she cares and loves you, but it’s hard for you to criticize her because you care.

            That kind of double standard is an unhealthy dynamic that hurts both of you and your relationship with each other. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it was either of your intent for it to be that way, but it has ended up that way regardless of best efforts.

  • Korne127@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m genuinely just really sorry. 104 stars is awesome for a hobby project, and if she isn’t, I’m proud of that and happy for you :)
    But yeah, I’m sorry that she hasn’t appreciated that and reacted in a nice way… and besides that, obviously coding open source is something good for job prospects.

    • aidan@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      Yeah I guess. I’ve only been able to get internships- good internships. But I’ve never been able to get a real job

      • Aidan@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Well you managed to get the username aidan@lemmy.world before me, so that’s something

  • GnuLinuxDude@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I’ve got a 60 star project on github. Some people have left some very nice feedback about how useful my code has been for them as a Linux alternative to a Windows program. I’m proud of my little bit of code, even if it hasn’t earned me a single cent (nor do I have expectations for it to)!