If these are the popular names now, the world is going to be filled with insufferable twats in 20-30 years.
Conclusion: Tragedeighs are more likely to be issued by conservative nutjobs than leftie snowflakes.
Ugh. Fucking Oakleys. The worst.
As a parent in a red state, I’ve noticed way more last names as first names than what I grew up with. This seems to match that trend.
What gets me is that Cohen shows up twice for republican boys (that last name is like Smith for Jewish people)
Some weird names there. Gunner and Baylor?
And isn’t Stetson a fucking hat?
Oaklee is a brand of sunglasses, and they’ve got it there 3 times for a girl’s name lmao
What’s the plan with Collins as a first name… for a girl, even? They just really big fans of latter-day Genesis in red states?
So the bluer names are ethnic and the redder names are terrible. Interesting trend.
Having a girl in a red state? You are legally required to end it in “lynn,” “leigh,” “ly” or “ley”.
Funny how quick it changed, “lee” ending was for boys and “lynn” for girls.
And start with Oak. Apparently.
Missed that - hope I have a good lawyer.
Con. Mother: “Let’s name our daughter after a tree. What’s that name people use from a tree that is strong, but bends under pressure so that it never breaks?”
Con. Father: “Oak?”
Con. Mother: “No, that one definitely breaks under pressure. Also, oak is dense. Do you want our daughter to be dense?”
Con. Father: “…Professor Oak?”
Con. Mother: “Oh… It may be inevitable that our daughter will be dense. Let’s go with ‘oak’.”
Specifically ethnicities that tend to have bigger families too.
Three Catholics that used to pump up blue numbers are all conservatives now.
All those red names remind me of r/tragedeigh on Reddit.
My first thought exactly
“Dad, what was I named after?”
“I really liked those sunglasses that cops wear, and your mom likes spelling stuff weird to feel fancy, so naturally we called you Oakleigh!”
I have a red state relative who is a big sports fan and names their children after sports equipment manufacturers.
I’d like you to meet my family: here’s my son Champion, my youngest, Addidas, and Riddell is the oldest. 😄
Maybe they can get future sponsorships!
I’ve never really thought about it, but I think it would make it harder for them to get sponsorships.
If your name is Nike, then would Puma really be willing to sponsor you? And if your name is Nike, then you’re already advertising for Nike. Even if Nike did sponsor you, there would be no competition so you wouldn’t be able to negotiate a bigger paycheck.
I suppose a good marketer could spin it. “My name may be Nike, but you’ll only ever see these feet in Asics!”
Someone may want to “steal them away” from their namesake brand too for the same reason. “They’re names after Nikes, but still won’t even wear them for money!”
Advertising is weird. I’m sure if one was a star and companies saw a way to exploit that, both parties would be able to work something out.
Kind of like Harrison Ford advertising for Jeep
Exactly! I forgot about that ad, but they nailed it.
Is it better than Tracker and Hunter and Cooper and Baker as first names?
Stetson? Like… the hat?
Bruh.
I suppose its better then naming their kid Fedora.
The top red girl’s name is Hattie.
Middle name McHatface
IIRC it’s short for Hatherly
My oldest son, Stetson, was picking on his youngest brother, Resistol, until the two middle children, Akubra and Master Hatters of Texas stepped in.
Hey now… It was also a Cologne at some point.
What i learn from this is that there are a lot of Muslims in blue states and that everyone is naming their daughters some variation of Oakley in red states.
You mean Oackleiygh
Moshe? Kohen? Baylor???
Multiple versions of “Oak”???
I don’t understand these names
Moshe is a Jewish name, Kohen is a fake Jewish name for Christian zionists, Baylor is a Christian college with a football team popular with gambling addicts.
In the Bible the oak of righteousness will not bend, and no matter how many Olive Gardens she’s banned from Oaklynn will never bend from knowing that she wants to see the manager and you’re a slur.
I was thinking Oakley came from Annie Oakley
Nah its just a brand of sunglasses lol
Next stop: “this is my son, Walmart F-150 McDonaldson.”
Has to be Charles Oakley. They want her to grow up to be an enforcer in the WNBA.
Moshe is a traditional Hebrew name. It’s probably pretty much 100% NY and maybe a little NJ. That’s likely why it’s only 3% red when the rest of the most skewed names still have more than 20% in the minority.
It’s weird white people that live in townhomes giving their kids names they think sound Appalachian or folksy.
Red state baby girls be named after Guy Fieri’s wraparound sunglasses.
Why are all those red names so utterly horrible?
Are you seriously calling your boy Gunner? Why not… idk… Carpet? Or Computer? Or Bottle?
Baylor sounds like a low level boss that you have to fight to finish the tutorial.
They’re riffing off of traditional masculine naming conventions. Gunner is associated with the traditional male role of aggressor (compare, Hunter, Victor, Dominic), and is also a job (compare, Carter, Taylor, Mason).
Honestly, I think it’ll age better than Baylor or Kyson.
I mean… I get it. But in a country where mass shootings are the norm, calling your son gunner is… a bit out of touch?
Baylor on the other hand is just plain horrible.
Yeah, ‘a bit out of touch’ is a good starting point when talking about conservatives usually…
I mean, a gunner is a job in the military. Not much different than naming your kid Gunars, which means warrior. Gunman would be more on the nose. I’m just saying, when I hear Gunner’s mom yelling at him not to spill his soda in the car in the grocery store parking lot in 15 years, I’ll be like, “yep, that’s a normal name.”
Also, mass shootings arent the norm. They are extremely rare.
But yes, naming your kid “gun” to “own the libs” is indeed cringe as fuck.
Naming your kid after a job is cringe.
Naming your kid Taylor is cringe
agreed
It’s a cultural thing. In some red areas guns are seen as a cultural signifier. It’s straight up the same as naming a kid Christian or after a virtue or any other name that’s on the nose religious, but with rural cultural values instead of just Christian ones.
hey, Baylor is a good hard-working children’s name
those hay bales won’t make themselves once all the farm hands are in concentration camps
My half-brother is named Ranger. 🙄
Please tell me he lives in Texas
It’s going to be a hard life for a lot of innocent boys after their parents effectively tattooed “punch me, I’m a douchebag” on them.
Edit: Clarified “innocent,” obviously the parents are the issue.
I doubt they’ll have much more trouble than other kids. Names are names, and most people accept that you just get whatever name you get and can’t do much about it. All the girls named Reagan seem to be doing just fine.
I read an analysis once of how happy people were with their names. The trend was that the more unusual the name was, the less happy the owner was with it, up until you got to the very popular names, where happiness declined again - but it still wasn’t a huge deal. A reasonable assumption is that most people feel quite neutrally about their names until it causes them some inconvenience - people mispronouncing it, people misspelling it, or being confused with other people with the same name.
The only deviation from this trend was that people who were named after admirable family members tended to be actively happy about their names.
Lesson being - when naming your kid, consider naming them after your great uncle who died heroically in the war. Failing that, just get a list of the top 100 baby names, discard the top 10, discard any duplicates with minor spelling deviations, and then just pick one at random.
I assume it’s just an alternate (i.e. made up) spelling of Gunnar which is a Scandinavian name. I knew I guy named Gunnar once.
Conservatives are not broadly known for their creativity.
Gunner is 100% a common dog’s name, often given to gun dogs. I feel sorry for those kids.
On the other hand, Baylor, Tripp, Briggs, Hattie, Gracelynn, and Wrenly sound amazing
Imagine your statement, but change red to blue.
Would that be okay to say?
Yes! Absolutely yes! Gunner is a horrible name, as is Baylor. If you think this is political, that’s your problem. It’s not my fault if the most horrible names are mostly red.
And what’s wrong with the name Gunnar?
It’s a Germanic/Norse name that’s been in use for thousands of years, but some ignorant American thinks it’s horrible and needs to go?
I said Gunner, not Gunnar, but go on, I guess?
Edit: bonus point for calling me “ignorant american” when I’m not from that continent.
Gunner is the anglicised version of Gunnar champ.
So use Gunnar instead, champ. Using a name so linked to guns in a country with such a problem with guns is out of touch and cringe.
Also, champ, can I dislike a name or are you going to tell me what to think? Is your name gunnar and you feel offended because an internet stranger doesn’t like the american version of it, champ?
The point being names are just names.
And your opinion is just yours.
Try to be nicer, and you may end up happier for it.
You’re not wrong, but that’s a weird hill to defend.
Did you call your kid Gunner or are you just trying to get offended on the internet?
… Miriam is making a come back?
Eustace! Leave that poor dog alone!
And then also… jesus fuck, the right wing 2A crowd is now I guess just naming their kids 4 or 5 different variations of their favorite overpriced ‘cool but also tactical’ glasses?
I guess it makes sense for a Republican approach to daughters; literally just accessories they own so they can self-actualize via consumerism and performative conformity.
… Also I can only hope male Nico just barely making the list is from people who played GTA 4 and actually realized his entire story is a thorough evisceration of the concept of the American Dream.
These aren’t necessarily popular names. They’re the most skewed ones (presumably above a threshold, otherwise there would be a lot of names where there was only one baby).
I know, I know, I’m just being cheeky =P
But, that is a good and accurate thing to point out either way!
It’s probably because it’s a traditional Jewish name. It’s just Hebrew for Mary.
Ah, that makes more sense!
Yeah it’s funny to see it thought of as an old person name because when I hear Miriam I picture a youngish Jewish woman.
Stetson - cowboy hats.
Briggs (& Stratton) - outboard motors.
Oakley (in three different spellings) - redneck eyewear of choice.Conservatives are one generation away from naming their kids shit like Winchester, Remington, Walmart, and Budlight.
