I’ve pretty much hit rock bottom and come to the conclusion that I can’t stay on my current trajectory. It’s already cost me one, if not two, relationships, and I’m tired of dating on hard mode. I’m worried I might be too far gone, so it would be immensely helpful to hear from someone who’s been in the same place and managed to turn things around.
I can manage a week or two with the power of self loathing but once the urges come back I’m really, and I mean really good at coming up with excuses.
Yeah, I quit and relapsed and that brings us to present day. I can only really get off to femdom porn but the vast majority of femdom porn is gross and terrible. I love dominant women but I fucking hate the porn. I guess it wasn’t all for nothing, I’m not as bad as I was. I’m not a no-fap idiot either. Masturbation is great! I think porn is fine as long as you don’t fucking hate what you’re watching, you practice self control, and It isn’t replacing genuine human connection. Sadly, not an option for me, at least right now.
Yeah, I have nothing against masturbation, it’s the porn that’s the issue for me. I have no desire for sex and I struggle to find normal women attractive. Sex is such an essential part of romantic relationships that I have to work this out if I ever want to succeed in one. I’m not sure I can moderate it. I just have to try and quit it entirely and hopefully there comes a day that I don’t even miss it.