Yes, this is a real Am I The Asshole, not one where the answer is super obvious and the user is just looking to have their ego stroked.
My SO has BDD and genuinely thinks they look ugly naked. I think they’re 1000% incorrect and that they’re the sexiest human alive, and I would die happy if I could see them naked all the time.
I was diagnosed with a condition called Cone Rod Dystrophy which basically means I’ll lose color vision, then all vision. The timeline is anywhere from next week to 50 years from now.
I want to see them naked every chance I can get so I can cement it in my head before I go blind, but I feel gross for posing that as a reason to let me see them naked.
Like, in the 10 years we’ve been together I’ve never even asked them for a hand job if they didn’t feel up to sex because I didn’t want to seem like a callous asshole, so this would be a big ask from me.
To add in complications, they’re also on the spectrum. Not a criticism since I’m most likely on it too.
One thing to keep in mind with body dysmorphia is that what you think about their body is unlikely to change how they feel about their body. Often times, dysmorphia doesn’t stem from outside influences, and is an entirely internal struggle. Depending on what their dysmorphia is rooted in, showering them in praise may help them accept their body, or may compound their negative emotions (“I’m ugly and I’m dating an idiot”).
You both have valid desires, but they’re both at odds with each other. Honestly, I’d recommend a therapy session for the both of you. It would probably be beneficial to have a neutral third party involved in the conversation.