For context, I’m circumcised and expecting a son and my wife and I are torn about the circ. We’re American so from a cultural standpoint circumcision is the default choice. Thing is, there’s no real benefit besides practicing a religion we don’t believe in, and I’m uncomfortable about cutting the tip of my son’s dick off.

On the other side, I’ve met a guy who was bullied in high school so bad for it he got a circ as an adult. Apparently crazy painful recovery. I’ve also talked to women who are generally grossed out by uncircumcised men. I don’t want to make him feel like something’s wrong with him his whole life because I was uncomfortable with the idea.

From a moral standpoint I’m against it, but from a social and cultural standpoint I feel like I should do it? It’s a crappy situation. If there’s any uncircumcised American men who want to talk about their penis I’m all ears.

Edit: I really appreciate everyone’s responses I never expected to hear from so many people. With the decision hinging on social and cultural norms it’s been really helpful to be able to take the temperature like this. I obviously need to talk to my wife, but given the overwhelming support of dick hats I don’t thing we’re going to do it. Thanks, lemmings!

  • compostgoblin@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

    If you want your child to resent you for mutilating them with unnecessary surgery without their consent, go for it. If you want to be a good parent, don’t.

    • Baron Von J@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      That’s a really broad and unfounded assumption that every circumcised boy grows up to resent their parents over it.

      • danciestlobster@lemmy.zip
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        1 day ago

        Imma be honest here I grew up never really thinking much about it either way but now that I am reading this thread and about an apparent loss of sensitivity I’m wondering if I have been missing out my whole life.

        • Canaconda@lemmy.ca
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          1 day ago

          I’m cut. I think people overblow how much of a difference it makes. Not saying it make’s no difference whatsoever… but the people acting like their dick doesn’t work anymore need to cut back on porn or something.

          • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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            22 hours ago

            It’s not controversial to say that women differ sexually, right? For example, some women can orgasm from penetration alone, and others need more-direct clitoral stimulation. Everybody knows this, or should know this.

            Would it be controversial to claim that, hey, perhaps men differ, too? What if we’re not exaggerating how much of a difference it makes? There are intact men right here in this discussion who say that most of their sensation comes from their foreskin, and they don’t feel much from their glans. It would destroy their enjoyment of sex to cut it off, even while many men wouldn’t notice much change, because most of their sensation comes from the glans.

              • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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                22 hours ago

                And then there are people who envision all brown-skinned people as performing FGM with a piece of broken glass in a grass hut, when in fact, most instances of it are also hospital-performed medical procedures.

      • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        It’s founded and a valid assumption.

        Adults who want to be circumcised can make their own choices. Infants can’t consent to genital mutilation.

        • Baron Von J@lemmy.world
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          24 hours ago

          It’s founded and a valid assumption.

          Cite a study that concludes the number of circumcised boys grow up to resent their parents for it statistically approaches 100%.

          edit: I’m not making a value statement one way or the other about circumcising or not circumcising. I’m purely reacting to the claim that a circumcised boy will grow up to resent their parents.

          • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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            24 hours ago

            Excellent use of “show me the study” to discredit someone without providing your own study to back up your contrary point of view.

            And top notch denial of axes to grind, positioning yourself as neutral whilst criticizing others.

            Might not work in a court of law, but it’s strong internet debate fallacy usage.

            • Baron Von J@lemmy.world
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              23 hours ago

              Excellent use of “show me the study” to discredit someone without providing your own study to back up your contrary point of view.

              I didn’t make a claim either way. I just said the OP’s claim was unfounded, and it is unless and until they provide a study that backs it up.

              And top notch denial of axes to grind, positioning yourself as neutral whilst criticizing others.

              I don’t really know what you mean by denial of axes to grind. I’m not asserting that no circumcised boy has resentment over it. Of course the truth is going to be somewhere between 0% and 100%. I’m just saying we should have some actual data about where that percentage really lies. And I’m not positioning myself as neutral on the topic, I was just pointing out that that specific comment of mine was unrelated to circumcision.

              I would love to see non-medically necessary circumcision be a thing of the past, but I’m not going to go and make statistical claims I can’t backup about it.

              Might not work in a court of law, but it’s strong internet debate fallacy usage.

              What the fuck are you even on about?! OP already conceded that it was an overly broad and hyperbolic claim.

              • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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                23 hours ago

                I didn’t make a claim either way. I just said the OP’s claim was unfounded, and it is unless and until they provide a study that backs it up.

                You literally wrote that directly above

                And top notch denial of axes to grind, positioning yourself as neutral whilst criticizing others.

                You’re fucking lying that you don’t have a viewpoint when you’re up and down this thread demanding scientific studies from people who are sharing the experiences of themselves and people they know, and all of your “innocently neutral requests for scientific studies” are on one side of the debate and not the other.

                It’s hypocritical, disingenuous, dismissive, dehumanizing and a logical fallacy that anyone with a different viewpoint to you has to have scientific studies backing up every point they make. It’s a shitty and vacuous debating technique.

                Maybe, just maybe, the people in this thread who remember having a foreskin and don’t now (or whose friends have talked to them about that) have the most insight into what difference it makes to have a foreskin, and you could try respecting their opinion rather than demanding scientific proof that their experience is universal.

      • compostgoblin@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 day ago

        It is broad, yeah. And I can’t speak for everyone, but speaking from my own experience, I certainly resent that my parents made that decision for me. Especially given that there’s no medical reason for it, I don’t see any reason why someone should violate someone else’s bodily autonomy like that.

        Edit: also, not a boy :)

      • Rikudou_Sage@lemmings.world
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        1 day ago

        Yeah, many people who don’t think a consent is something important don’t resent their parents over it. Not sure their opinion matters to me, but technically you’re right.