This guy has ruined satire news…
Satire now would just be him doing anything like a normal sane president.
Trump is a genius inventor: he keeps coming up with new ways to take bribes
It’s a coin operated system. Insert $25M for the next 6 days of peace.
And it won’t be by GDP either. He will ask the exact same amount from each country. If you’re too small to pay, you get conquered
Noice country ya have here, vary vary noice…would be a shame if someone invaded it…wunnit?
Nobody expects…
The Gambino Inquisition!
The document describes a mechanism resembling the “purchase” of influence: standard membership in the Board of Peace is limited to three years and depends on the will of the chairman. This restriction is lifted for states that contribute more than US$1 billion in cash to the fund within the first year.
“Decisions would be taken by a majority, with each member state present getting one vote, but all would be subject to the chairman’s approval,” Bloomberg says.
Pay a billion to get a vote, and everyone gets a vote…
But trump can overrule any vote…
And he can kick anyone out that he wants, so if you ever go against his opinion of the moment, he’ll kick you out.
Why the fuck would any country pay this?
Why the fuck would any country pay this?
Same reason they would gift Trump an airplane?
He’s going to play this whole game of doing military actions and stuff. Then people complain and he’ll just say the decision was made in his board of peace. If you wanted something different, you had to be there and vote.
I mean, to be real it’ll be an invasion club.
Join and pay up, and everyone votes that your invasion is for long-term stability and peace.
Don’t join up, and get labeled an aggressor for defending your own soverignity.
If Russia, China, NK join up, it stops being a joking matter
Because it would be a shame if the military had to pay a little visit to your country if you don’t.
Also, guess what? Tariffs!
It’s another invitation to bribe him.
So a protection racket, in other words.
Setup by the dollar store godfather wannabe
Ever since trump got elected, the news has been either bizarre, devastating, hilarious, insane, removed, cringe, maddening…
Can that heart attack come already? Come on, McDonald’s hamburgers, do your job
Make news boring again
Absolutely fucking terrible protection racket if that’s what it is.
The US spends 7tn per year on government spending. Even if the entire UN ponied up a billion each, every year, that would be less than 200bn in additional revenue. Not nothing, but barely a fraction of the 5tn in tax revenue the US government takes in every year.
That’s like the mafia hitting you up for $50 a month.
Lol as if this money will go to us. Trump will pocket it for himself just like he’s doing with Venezuela.
Actually, at least according to this article, the charter does state that any funds will be personally controlled by Trump (or whoever he designates as his successor).
Can that heart attack come already? Come on, McDonald’s hamburgers, do your job
Can We the people wake the fuck up already and use the 2A to do a burger’s job?
On Friday, the White House presented the composition of “a founding Executive Board”, consisting exclusively of figures loyal to Trump: his Middle East adviser Steve Witkoff, his son-in-law Jared Kushner, Secretary of State Marco Rubio and former UK prime minister Tony Blair.
It’s astonishing how often Tony Blair manages to find new ways to be a massive fucking disappointment. It’s like he’s already concluded that he’s going to hell for the whole Iraq thing so he’d may as well lean into it by being a huge cunt while he’s alive.
I thought the same thing. I mean the whole Iraq thing could be seen as a misjudgement in hindsight. Now though he just looks evil.
First one trump invited is ofcourse putin … ???
Why can’t they just make a Discord server for free instead??
… oh my god this isn’t an onion article.
We are in hell.
We are in hell.
Always was, just this time Trumpler is exacerbating the overall situation - essentially driving us deeper into the underworld.
Rimmer: United America? Who’s that?
Kryten: Well, at the end of the 23rd century, America attempted to bring peace to the world by asking every nation on Earth to sign a peace treaty.
Any nation that refused, they invaded.
Now, a war ensued that was called the War Against War. Those countries who went to war because they were so against war, they were prepared to go to war to fight in a war against war, called themselves United America.
(Sorry can’t find a better source)
I was not prepared for how Craig Charles looked in that clip.
But then I gave up on the show ages ago. The Series 6 finale was the end as far as I’m concerned.
That’s what years of curry and lager in deep space does to you.
Krytens skin is still young looking though.
Seemingly Cat hasn’t aged at all.
Black don’t crack.
Kryten’s looking a little worse for wear, but has still fared a lot better than Data in that Picard series.
A board of peace - after telling the Norwegian prime minister that he’s not committed to peace anymore because he didn’t get the peace price (and no, the PM doesn’t control the peace price)
Outside of the overt extortion for entry bit, how would this be any different than the current UN where the US unilaterally controls basically every decision or its consequences?
It’s called the board of peace so we can assume it will be a global Mafia demanding protection money, and going to war whenever it’s the more profitable outcome.
The kind of group that should be nuked from orbit.
So no different than the status quo where Team America World Police does whatever they want whenever.
But this one exists to launder money to him and his cronies
It’s his same old song. Tear down what already exists, then huck a new version of it out for the very low price of $19.84.
I’m surprised he hasn’t added his name to the title of it yet.
That’s a good point. He still has time to put his name on it though.
UN SC is not unilaterally controlled by the US, other permanent members get a veto too. That’s why he would like to replace that.
A “Board of Peace” membership and a 100 Euro bill are worth 100 Euros combined.
“Bored of peace” coalition
He’s fucking delusional.
The next 90 days will decide if the EU is a puppet state of the US.
By the soldier count on Greenland right now, it’s lookin kinda sus. They couldn’t defend a movie theater rn.
Lol, tell me you don’t understand posturing without telling me you don’t understand posturing
Either Trump is bluffing, you guys are, or both.
Look up trip wire troops and you’ll understand.
The soldiers are symbolic. Any attack on them is an attack on all of Europe (well those countries present in Greenland).
If you are going to have a war, you don’t want 1000s of your best soldiers stuck in a snowdrift.
Any nation that joins this farcical board makes itself a vassal to the US. I kinda expect random small nations with low stakes in the UN to go for it, to suck up to tRump and try to curry favor. For them, becoming a vassal will be moving up in the world. But any self-respecting European nation needs to double down on its commitments to Europe.
Who becomes chairman when trump leaves office? The next US president, a senior member of the board, or is it a position for life? Or is he so convinced that he’ll never leave office that he didn’t bother describing that in the charter?
He’s trying to make himself
chancellorking of the world.Also Europe having a few dozen soldiers on Greenland is more of a deterrent. It says “you attack here, you’re attacking all of us,” and it also acts as an assurance to Denmark that the other nations will respond if something happens. Since Article 5 wouldn’t apply if attacked by another NATO country…
to suck up to tRump and try to curry favor.
Give the bully your lunchbox and she’ll want your lunchbox tomorrow.
