• jak@sopuli.xyz
      0·
      9 months ago

      Can I try to gently press that a little?

      I would feel awful if I found out I had been enabling someone’s alcoholism, especially if they only allowed it because they trusted me and I offered them drinks. I have ADHD and autism, so I understand making yourself hard and fast rules to avoid having to make your own self control (I’m not saying that’s definitely what you’re doing).

      Could you perhaps try gradually increasing the rules one by one so that in the end there’s basically no scenario in which you drink? I’m talking: a trusted person offers it to you; it’s a weekend; it’s nice weather out; your whole house is clean; you’ve got extra cash; you ate healthy that day; you are already in a good mood; your beloved (hopefully incapable, for this situation) sports team has won; you talked to two relatives that day, etc. I’m not a therapist, but that works for me. The problem is when I mess up- my rules are great for keeping me out of trouble, but they make me spiral if/when I do break them. You might have to figure out a combination of zero tolerance for “mistakes” and allowing yourself to make actual mistakes without spiraling.

  • habanhero@lemmy.ca
    01·
    9 months ago

    It’s because denial is part of being an alcoholic. The same goes with being called a liar.

    • TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee
      1·
      9 months ago

      Except when it’s not. I so much hate this rhetoric. You know what? You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine. That’s why OP’s question is so hard to answer. Because everybody is just parroting this rhetoric.

      And “you are clearly an alcoholic” comments in 3, 2, 1…

      • habanhero@lemmy.ca
        01·
        9 months ago

        You can freely think that I am one, and I genuinely think I’m not. If you think that I am one, that’s your problem, not mine.

        I mean that’s exactly the issue lol. You might not be an alcoholic, but if you were there’s a solid chance you’d deny that fact.There is a good reason why parts of the 12 step program involve admitting and recognizing that there is a problem, and it’s not limited to alcoholism but substance abuse in general.

        A lot of people who genuinely need help refuses to see or admit that they do.