My almost-two-year-old dog is expected to die very suddenly from cancer at any time. She’s the sweetest thing. I’ve even felt guilty that I’ve thought she’s going to be a better dog (for me) than my older dog is, who is wonderful. But she’ll never have the chance.
Meanwhile, my husband can’t deal with the occasional accident her cancer is causing and is threatening not to get another dog, knowing full well that planning for the next dog is what keeps me going because my life is ruled by chronic health problems and I live for my dogs.
Edit: I guess the more succinct answer would be: Have you ever cried so hard you started to vomit?
My kitty died at 1.5y from something that wasn’t cancer, but the vet said it works like cancer. My heart aches for you. It took about a year to stop being sad and remember him being happy. I’m sure you’ve given your pup a good home. Enjoy what time you have left and you’ll eventually remember the happy times.
I saw this and my first thought was: oh no Elmo, that’s not a great thing to ask the internet…
Elmo thinks it’s important to be careful on the internet and only ask appropriate questions. Elmo wants everyone to stay safe and have a positive online experience!
Not doing good.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re not doing well. If you feel comfortable, sharing more about what’s going on might help, and I’m here to listen.
Nothing much. Disillusioned with the world itself. Disappointed that the place I was born in matters a lot.
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I hate that my teen years went to shit studying and rote-learning. No dating, no hanging out, no friends, nothing. Now I kinda want to go back to the “springtime of youth”.
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I’ve experienced a lifestyle of “gamble economics”, if that makes sense. Gamble your saving for a business, if it fails, you’re fucked, if it works, you earn little - that’s how my dad used to earn and also lose most of the time. There is no concept of “saving”. Being conditioned into that childhood, I am always paranoid. I can’t sleep at night.
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I thought that being an adult would be liberating. It’s not. It’s horrible. You’re an “uncle” to every little kid in your early 20s. You’re also a creep, if you act un-adult-ly. By default, there’s a lot of assumptions about you. Surviving as an adult isn’t easy - there’s unspoken rules and skills that you need to have. Social interaction and high tolerance to rejection is one of them.
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Contrary to popular beliefs, no one pities the mentally disadvantaged. You’re a “weirdo” and “slow-thinker” in real life, you experience whispers and eyes peering at you, your weird way of walking and slouching is being laughed at. If you show your weakness, you’re fucked up.
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Schools are fucking stupid, they don’t prepare you for adult life. I don’t know how to do taxes, banking or any of that. I’m not even sure how to get assets of my deceased parents, in case of an unforeseen tragedy. Dad has also lent and borrowed soft loan (no interest) to others, there’s no legal contract, it’s all based on word-of-mouth and trust, and I don’t even know I should be asking from, or giving money to.
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I paid a lot for 4 years of degree. Education is expensive, obviously. I thought that getting a degree = automatic job safety. Turns out it was all bullshit. It’s a cash-grab scheme.
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Nothing they teach you in university matters, it’s all outdated bullshit and niche stuff, you’re not going to work on that, tier-1 college students will gain access to them. Real, accessible job is shitty, low-paying, replaceable and repetitive.
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My parents went to a relative gathering for the first time. People kept asking them about jobs, and they blurted that I work at GitHub. He lied, because he was ashamed. I’ve simply participated in a stupid hackathon by GitHub, that’s it. Never got a proper job after graduation. I felt like I was stripped naked and hanging onto a pole, with my limbs tied for everyone to see.
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The recession is so bad, they’re demanding that graduates pay their employer for internship. Haha, what a fucking joke, right? Check these stories out (Reddit link btw) 1 2.
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By random encounter, recently, my dad was offered to “clean” black money. All he had to do was make it seen that this transaction was valid. How much did he get as his cut? A lakh, in a single day, just like that. No hard word, no breaking your back, or sitting in front of a computer, like an addicted baboon with a rotten eye. The last internship that I was working for, from October 2022 to January 2023, how much did I earn from my honest work? ₹12k per month, 36k in total. It would take me an entire year to earn a lakh rupee, in a shitty, exploitative environment with a rude boss, and no work life balance.
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Nothing to save, everything to slave. There’s too many of us. Being a cog in a machinery is one thing, but being a spare cog made in excess hits different. The machinery demands that I am not needed.
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Right now, thoroughly annoyed. Which is a lot better than a lot of ways one could feel.
I’m sorry to hear that. If you’d like, you can share more about what’s causing the annoyance, or if there’s anything specific you’d like to discuss or alleviate.
Net good. Planning a trip for the fall timeframe that is going to take significant financial and physical prep. I’m realizing how much I’ve let work take front and center, and this trip is giving me a good kick in the butt to prioritize other things and chill a bit.
Been worse. Been better, I guess. Most things in life are going apace.
My job is the best paying one I’ve ever had. It’s still barely keeping my chin above water. My skill set normally would command a much higher salary, but the market is shit, and I’ve been holding onto this because of a pension it offers.
But a few years in I see that the increases might not be sustainable if things continue as they are. And I’m not growing much.
Not too bad, but could be better.
A funny story about my not so great love life: just matched with a girl on Tinder which I managed to have engaging text discussions with and it felt quite genuine. This is rare for me, so I was happy about it.
Well, in the end it became obvious to me it was just a pig butchering scam when she started to talk about how she can help me invest in cryptocurrency.
I guess I’m going to be a failure in love life for a bit longer lol.
As long as you love yourself, you’re not a failure.
Thanks. I’m content with my own solitude, but I can admit the affirmation I got from this event felt nice, even though it was all stimulated.
Good that you figured it out though, and wasted their time.
Well I started writing chapter 6 in my book. Cleaned up my sister’s place before she came home so I couldn’t work on my book today. And, my dad’s slowly getting better from his surgery and my mom isn’t hurting anymore. So, all in all, a lot better than I was this time last month.
What’s your book about?
It’s about two people trying to find each other after a mysterious, deadly fog rendered the outside inhospitable to people. Odd lights start to appear in the sky, rumors of people made of light, and an otherworldly bell ringing in the air causing some survivors to lose control of their bodies are just some of the obstacles that get in the way of the two survivors trying to reunite with one another.
I like that!
Pretty horrible. Wife wants a divorce and is unwilling to try and fix things. Barely communicates with me at all.
I met my stepson when he was 9 months old. He’s 11 now. I’m the only father he knows. I’m devastated, because not only am I losing my wife, but I’m also losing my son, as I have no legal right to him. I’m estranged from the rest of my family, so the world is looking pretty cold and lonely from here.
I’m sorry to hear that, bro. Do you have any hobbies or interests you can focus on?
If you have talked to a lawyer who has said that you have no legal right to see your stepson, it’s worth talking to a different lawyer. If you have not talked to a lawyer, talk to a lawyer ASAP. Specifically, a lawyer that’s at least familiar with the 4-part test in the Wisconsin Supreme Court case In re H.S.H-K. that shows a parent-like relationship. Even if you cannot afford to hire one to represent you, go for a one-time consultation.
Most states recognize that it’s bad for children to rip them away from people that are like parents to them, and courts will order visitation. Many state courts have adopted Wisconsin’s 4-part test, or have their own, similar doctrines. And these are strong arguments, with lots of jurisprudence behind them, that are worth raising in any divorce proceeding.
I’m not a lawyer, but I was a legal assistant at a family law firm. I saw too many men convinced that the courts were biased against fathers, so they didn’t even try to fight for their kids. The men who did try (even without a lawyer) generally got custody, placement, or visitation to stay connected to their kids. In one case that sticks with me, we won court-ordered placement for a man who found out that his daughter with his ex-girlfriend wasn’t his biological daughter after the ex wanted to cut him out of her life, and they did a paternity test. Even though they weren’t married, and he had no biological or legal connection to the child, the court recognized the parent-like relationship, and found that it was in her best interest to continue it.
I guess what I’m saying is, don’t conclude that you will lose your stepson unless and until a court says so.
That’s a really awful situation. I hope things get better. Maybe she’ll change her mind in the future and let you at least spend some time with him.
This time last year I would’ve said something completely different but I’m confident to say I’m now doing well. Of course not the best but well
Great. I razzle dazzled a couple higher ranked people at work today, and the fruits were that I get to present one of my projects to the top tech brass at our company next week. My new phone arrived. And I have a 2 day LAN party coming up this weekend.
My boyfriend is getting more and more frequent panic attacks. He’s at the end of his rope. I’m trying to get him therapy, but it took almost a year to convince him to let me sign him up for some. Today they contacted him to schedule an appointment…for a month from now. And he panicked about it so badly that he started sobbing at the end of his workday (while still at work).
He can’t afford therapy, so I offered to pay. Which makes him feel guilty. His constant anxiety is keeping him from getting help for his constant anxiety. It’s only going to get worse. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
I just realized I didn’t directly answer your question: terrible.
You’re doing a lot. Don’t let yourself tell you otherwise. My wife had lifelong GAD and panic disorder that was almost completely untreated for most of her life. Getting help wasn’t easy but, it has literally been life-changing. Getting him help IS also helping you as it is very stressful to be the partner of someone with untreated mental illness.
Make sure to give yourself care too. You can’t help if you’re driven to breakdown yourself. It’s hard and there are ups and downs but it will get better for both of you.
Pretty lucky. Let go from a bad job that had downsizing. Got a better job. Moved in with my partner. She loves my kitties. Very fortunate and grateful. It’s been very bad, so this is something I’d never expected.
As the saying goes, there will be ups and there will be downs. Remember that it will go back up, even when it seems like it will only be down. It’s hard to do, but please try.
Suggested reading: oh the places you’ll go by Dr Seuss
I got laid off in early january, however I am getting a good settlement package, and have been to sveral interviews, so far I have rejected one position, and are working on others.
My car has a weird fault where if I drive it for long distances, then park and lock it it can quickly discharge the 12v battery and leave me stranded, getting that looked at next week, right now I feel like I can’t trust it, and keep wondering if it will unlock when I press the button. It is a 2021 Seat Leon so it feels strange that it has this fault so early in it’s life.
So yeah, this is what I am dealing with
A little better tonight now that I figured out that the problem with my server isn’t the $1000 motherboard, but a $40 stick of RAM.
