“Girls desire a knight in shining armor to come sweep them off their feet!” — my pastor
For the longest time, I struggled because I was told all my life what a “woman’s purpose” was, and my desires never lined up with that. Felt like a freak because I never desired romance, sex, or partnership with a man. If that was my purpose, was I supposed to will myself to want that for myself? Was I doomed to be alone forever? Was I wrong to want to pursue adventure and things that I wanted?
If my desire ≠ God’s desire (which was apparently union with a man at some point in the future), then my desires were… wrong. Maybe/probably even evil.
So I fucked up my life trying to follow that and fit into that mold. I did things I never wanted to do because it was the “right thing” to do in the eyes of God.
After I escaped, I never really recovered. But… I discovered a lot about myself.
I did bearded dragon rescues & fostering, I got into cosplay, learned how to sew stuffed animals, got some mental health care, rekindled my love for nature… all by myself. I learned to love me and not base my worth on what other folks believe I should do or how I should behave. I don’t have a partner who gets to dictate my personality. I got to grow on my own.
I’m still coming to terms with… a lot of things about myself, but now I’m able to grow freely instead of being confined to such a small pot.
Don’t let people define who or what you are, or what your purpose is in life. Only you get to do that. It’s both terrifying and freeing, but you can do this.
Even for those us who fit into the straight/white/cis mould, learning how to create purpose and meaning for yourself is a really hard battle against expectations imposed growing up. Thanks for sharing a really wholesome story :)
If you work hard you’ll have a successful life
See also: “get good grades in university and you’ll be flooded with job offers!”
That wasn’t a lie, exactly, it was just Baby Boomers not realizing how much the world changed since they were in school. It used to happen that way. My mother got her first job out of school when the employer came to campus to recruit through a job fair.
It’s just an overly positive way of saying, “If you don’t get good grades in uni, many HRs will de-list you before looking at your resume”.
I literally have never come across a job posting that asked for GPA. Unless it’s like an academic internship or something. Get the degree, and nobody cares about your grades.
I don’t know if they still do, but Epic Systems (the medical records company) asked for GPA when I looked at their job applications. I’m not sure if they care about the GPA, per se, so much as using it as a way to practice their notorious (but hard to prove) age discrimination.
Relevant quote:
If wealth was the inevitable result of hard work and enterprise, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire
-George Monbiot
I don’t think it’s a lie, just outdated and obsolete advice.
We’re laughing will Ferrell.gif
Sitting in a hot tub as a kid will make you infertile.
Totally an old wive’s tale. I looked it up when I was an adult and found out I had been deprived of tons of hours of hot tub time.
the hot tube temperature lowers the current batch of sperm’s motility and count, alter the DNA and general quality. your balls cannot extend far enough to escape the hot tub. its not permanent. if you want to conceive, stop boiling your nuts.
