MAGA’s gonna party like it’s 2020!

  • Kookie215@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Y’all are gonna roast the shit out of me, but I really have a strong urge to buy toilet paper before all the weirdos start clearing the shelves (which I am fully aware makes me one of the weirdos)

    • ursus arctos @lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      I did. I live alone, so a single bulk pack will set me up for another year - and I was down to one inner-pack left from last year’s purchase. So, fuck it, I’mma lock in my next year’s worth of shitter paper at today’s prices.

      Went ahead and grabbed bottled & jugged water too - Not because I think I’ll need it in the next 4 weeks of market downturn, but because if anything DOES go wrong (spring tornado, cyberattack on utilities, etc.) at least I have some on hand.

      Doubled my canned good stash as well - Usually I keep 2 cans each of “my usuals” on hand and replace them as I use them, so I made room and stuffed the cabinet full for this spring/summer.

    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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      12 hours ago

      I mean this is the reason there are shortages. People fear shortages, so they buy extra so they wouldn’t be hit with the shortages, actually causing the shortage.

      The whole toilet paper thing was hilarious

    • BigBenis@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      I invested in a bidet shortly after the pandemic mania. I laugh in the face of toilet paper.

        • Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Buy them now while you can leverage remaining on shore inventory.

          Also, get your car maintenance done now.

      • pappabosley@lemm.ee
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        21 hours ago

        Having just spent 2 weeks in japan, I’m not looking forward to my first poop at home. Am going to be looking at cost of upgrading.

        • j0ester@lemmy.world
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          18 hours ago

          Dude, trust me… that booty will love you. I never liked it, until my wife got me in to it. I feel fresher than ever.

        • ngdev@lemm.ee
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          21 hours ago

          just get one that fits under your toilet seat they’re like 40 bucks and take 5 mins to install

          • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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            21 hours ago

            Feh, you vastly underestimate how crap I am at plumbing.

            Like the comic relief janitor of old, I have a gift for picking up every wrong part before I find the one I need.

            • kreskin@lemmy.world
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              17 hours ago

              The problem with bidets is that they require electricity and often there isnt any available next to the toilet. So you have to burn your house down and start over from scratch.

              • P1nkman@lemmy.world
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                15 hours ago

                What kind of fancy bidets are you using?? I’ve never used one that requires electricity, and I’ve spent months in Italy, all over the country.

            • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              20 hours ago

              If you’re that unsure of your abilities, spend a bit more and get one of the replace the whole seat kind of bidets. Literally All I had to do was disconnect the waterline, install the t-junction, then reconnect the waterline. Plug the provided hose into both items, install with some thumb screws and enjoy your wet butthole.

      • Kookie215@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I want one so bad, but I can’t get the husband on board. I have considered just buying it and installing it myself via the “do it anyways and ask for forgiveness” method, but dunno if butt spray is a battle I’m willing to choose yet. I just want to convince him it’s a good idea.

        • BigBenis@lemmy.world
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          13 hours ago

          Get one with a heated seat and he’ll forgive you even if he doesn’t come around to the butt spray. Heated seats are something I never knew I needed and now that I have it I can never go back. I cringe whenever I’m at a friend’s house and I need to sit on their cold toilet seat.

          • ursus arctos @lemmy.world
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            4 hours ago

            Weirdo here: I hate warm toilet seats. When I sit on a warm seat all I can think about is the hairy, pimpled 400lb ass of the Iowa-bred long haul trucker named Rooster who just finished up his hour-long battle with the consequences of eating a 32 oz bag of beef jerky in one sitting, and is about to go troll for some lot lizard tail.

            Doesn’t matter if it’s in my own home, warm seat = Rooster’s ass.

            I like my toilet seat like I like my pillowcase - Ice fucking cold.

        • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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          21 hours ago

          They’re not mandatory if they’re attached. It’s not gonna jump out and douse your butt without you asking.

        • Sheridan@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          They’re very easy to install. It’s almost as easy as installing a shower head.

          There are also compact battery powered portable handheld bidets that work about as well as the real thing. I have one I take with me on trips.

          • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            I have a portable one too and it’s not exactly what I’d call discreet but sure gets the job done. Honestly can’t recommend it for travel though because in spite of the “portable” label, it’s terribly bulky and causes me no end of grief when trying to take it on an airplane. Your experience may be different, here’s the one I’ve got.

            • NABDad@lemmy.world
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              21 hours ago

              This is what I use at work:

              https://a.co/d/clAv3hV

              It’s just a cap that you can put on almost any soda bottle or water bottle.

              I keep an old 20 oz soda bottle in my office to use with it.

              Great for travel and very discreet.

              • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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                15 hours ago

                Thanks for the recommendation, not sure it’s exactly what I’m looking for but I appreciate it all the same. Looks to be missing some key features (such as the carrying strap) that I’ve grown accustomed to.

          • PNW clouds@infosec.pub
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            1 day ago

            The portable one is my rec too. I have a rechargeable one. I refill it with warm or cool water depending on my preference and then bippity boppity.

            I like it because it’s also easier to aim and control.

            If I was going to get one to hook to the toilet, I’d get the type that’s like a kitchen sprayer attached to hose.

        • Windex007@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Assuming your financial decision making for a purchase of that magnitude isn’t at the “we need to make this decision together” threshold: do it.

          He doesn’t HAVE to use it just because you bought/installed it.

          • Kookie215@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            Yeah, I can get one on Amazon right now for less than $50, so I can definitely afford it with my own spending money. I really should just do it.

        • teamevil@lemmy.world
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          24 hours ago

          I gotta say especially if you live in a warm area…there’s no going back…bidet for life

    • pappabosley@lemm.ee
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      21 hours ago

      Still have my emergency supplies from covid. During the really scarce time, I ended up buying some of those massive rolls that go in public toilets, totalled 2.4km of tissue paper in the box.

    • krelvar@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      We chose to do a little bit of “buying ahead.” Where I would buy one pack of TP, I bought a second one, and when we use the first I’ll get another. Nothing we’re not going to use within a few months anyway, not looking to build a TP throne but just a bit of cushion. We were already mostly doing this anyway since covid because it seems like there’s random shortages here and there that didn’t happen prior, or at least not enough to notice.

      Really, nothing beyond what I’d want to have for a natural disaster where we’re on our own for a few days. Trying to be prudent without being a weirdo.

      • Kookie215@lemmy.world
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        13 hours ago

        You’re so aggressive for no reason. I didn’t even remotely suggest I actually bought the TP I was just commenting on my silly thoughts. Lighten up. It has to be miserable being so miserable.