Yep. Tried to make it all about me too, what with the crying and shitting myself.

I did the math as a teenager, and yep, I travelled down the aisle.

My dad didn’t have a wedding when he got remarried, but he invited me to be there when the papers were signed. Then he did it without telling me 🤷‍♀️ so “no” I guess. One day he was just like “oh yeah we got married yesterday”…

My parents did one of those vow renewal weddings and I was at that. I was not at their original wedding. I wasn’t born yet.

The only other wedding I attended was my own. And I kinda wish I hadn’t.

My biological parents relationship was transactional.

Yes. I was almost three years old. I don’t remember much, but I do remember that I started to sing during the wedding ceremony when my parents knelt at the altar. Of course no one else sung.

I also remember that the priest scared the shit out of me and that my godfather “fell asleep” in the toilet and had to be carried to a car. I learned years later that he had severe social anxiety which he treated with liquor.

Both of their second…

Not yet. My dad’s wedding is next year.

Am I a bastard?

Yes.

That would have been quite the logistical challenge

That’s a nice way to ask if I’m a bastard. No, not the insult. Literally, someone born out of wedlock.

I would love to, but I wasn’t born yet.

Technically, unless adoption or donated eggs come to play, 50% of all of us attended the parents wedding, as an ovule inside our mothers ovary.

Then again, some couples never marry. So, there’s another exception.

To answer your question: 50% of me was there at the occasion.

I was 3 when I attended my parents’ wedding. I guess I should note not my dad and birth mom.

I met my birth mom many years later. She stressed how she and my dad were briefly married when I was born, so I wasn’t a bastard, and that she gave birth in FL, not MI — the only home I remembered — so I wasn’t a damn Yankee. Like she did me some kindness in both those cases.

That was the attitude that led me to be quite happy with my circumstances — acting like I was in her debt over things I had no care over. So yeah, I attended the wedding of my dad and the only woman I’ll ever call mom.

I was the 3-year-old ring bearer.