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Deceptichum@quokk.au to Programmer Humor@programming.devEnglish · 1 day ago

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Deceptichum@quokk.au to Programmer Humor@programming.devEnglish · 1 day ago
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  • squaresinger@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    In my last job we called that “optimizing”, after a colleague (who usually only did frontent work) used the opportunity when everyone else was on vacation to implement a few show-stopping bugs in the backend and put “optimized backend code” in the commit message. He did the same thing a few months later during the next vacation period, which really solidified the joke.

    • mattreb@feddit.it
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      8 minutes ago

      that’s exactly why we have mandatory code reviews now…

    • bier@feddit.nl
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      8 hours ago

      Worked with a guy that would always say I’m refactoring X and it would usually give us weird issues and bugs. So after a while the team started calling it refucktoring

  • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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    13 hours ago

    WhatsApp for business communications? Jesus

    • marcos@lemmy.world
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      8 hours ago

      Works better than Teams.

      Probably has better privacy and confidentiality options too.

    • Mose13@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      Whatapp is for business, and signal is for official government communication

      • buddascrayon@lemmy.world
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        8 hours ago

        Both are quite secure but neither of them stop an idiot on one end or the other from sharing the contents with the public.

        • Tywèle [she|her]@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 hour ago

          Isn’t that true for any communications tool?

        • hypnicjerk@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          whatsapp is closed source and meta owned. i think it’s incredibly foolish to trust that it has no backdoors built in.

    • Spykee@lemmings.world
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      13 hours ago

      There’s “WhatsApp for Business” & “WhatsApp Business Solutions”.
      Catch-up, grandpa!

      • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one
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        11 hours ago

        I think those are for sales, like b2c advertising. Not for how your business talks to each other internally to destroy databases.

        • Reginald_T_Biter@lemmy.world
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          10 hours ago

          Nope, we use WhatsApp for escalation from clients when a ticket is too important to wait. Works great. Management talks to management and passes to us.

          • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one
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            7 hours ago

            With Whatsapp for Business? Cause that’s a specific thing: https://business.whatsapp.com/

      • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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        12 hours ago

        I’m aware the technologies exist - I can’t fathom wanting my sensitive communications served by meta.

        Also, grandma* - my pronouns are right there.

        • a_postmodern_hat@lemmy.world
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          11 hours ago

          Hey, just so you’re aware I’m reading this in Voyager and it does not display your pronouns like the web UI does.

          • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one
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            11 hours ago

            It shows almost nothing and definitely leads to confusion about who is talking to who :(

            • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              7 hours ago

              Tbf, I don’t read unames, and my app shows the pronouns in line with and the same color as the unames, so I don’t read those either.

              Literally no clue who I’m even responding to right now. Doesn’t really matter who it is either, my response would be the same regardless of your race/gender/whatever else.

              The one exception is whenever I see something profoundly stupid I will sometimes check the uname and go “ah yes cowbee again how predictable” but that’s just pure entertainment and learning who here not to waste energy on, most comments are just comments and don’t warrant that level of self preservation.

  • Destide@feddit.uk
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    15 hours ago

    "Today"is a Friday before public holidays

    • killeronthecorner@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      December 23rd

      Never trust a man deploying with a Santa hat on

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
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        9 minutes ago

        Unless that man was on call and was paged because something broke.

      • MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip
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        7 hours ago

        In 2028, the 23rd will be a Saturday, so that year’s 23rd is the 22nd.

    • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      I’m about to head out the door may as well do a quick system upgrade.

  • 9point6@lemmy.world
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    “good morning, I’m about to destroy the backend” is exactly the energy I’d welcome from a colleague frankly.

    I think the outage that followed as we fumbled to replace it would probably be cheaper than the ongoing maintenance after a few months

    • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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      23 hours ago

      I’ve seen plenty of back ends that needed to be destroyed.

      • Ghyste@sh.itjust.works
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        22 hours ago

        • inbeesee@lemmy.world
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          4 hours ago

          Because that’s how you get phrasing

      • Sc00ter@lemmy.zip
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        22 hours ago

        Are we still talking about code?

        • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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          22 hours ago

          Wait, you guys were talking about code?

          • Ghyste@sh.itjust.works
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            22 hours ago

      • ThePyroPython@lemmy.world
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        22 hours ago

        • Sundray@lemmus.org
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          4 hours ago
          nsfw Kenneth Williams

      • marlowe221@lemmy.world
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        23 hours ago

        Amen…

    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      Used properly, repairing pretty much anything with a sledgehammer will ensure it’ll never break again.

  • Sundray@lemmus.org
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    17 hours ago

    “Alright, I need all of the leads on this call to confirm: go, or no go.”

    “Go.”

    “Go.”

    “Let 'er rip!”

    “Hold up–”

  • bleistift2@sopuli.xyz
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    1 day ago

    What is this magical job where two typos land you a day off, no questions asked?

    • marcos@lemmy.world
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      8 hours ago

      Not deploying the backend doesn’t make it a day off.

      The coworker probably got the message right and knows about some integration problem the poster doesn’t know about.

      • bleistift2@sopuli.xyz
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        7 hours ago

        Please take the day off !

        How could this be misunderstood?

        • tomiant@programming.dev
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          31 minutes ago

          That’s a textbook “yes, sir” situation.

    • katy ✨@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      7 hours ago

      tbf this was a pretty big typo if anything deserves a day off its this

    • Tm12@lemmy.ca
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      24 hours ago

      Tech CEO

    • tooclose104@lemmy.ca
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      23 hours ago

      A typo in software development or other shell based work could completely ass womp a system in ways that could lose a company lots of money.

      Oopsies on prod systems, even with an outage window, can really fuck shit up. Seemingly small mistakes can quickly snowball into systemwide outages.

      • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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        22 hours ago

        It’s wild to me how some places I’ve worked are like locked down, all the infrastructure is in terraform or whatever and can be deployed immediately… and other places are like “ssh into prod with the credentials from confluence, edit the config in vim, and paste the new code into a new file”

        • tooclose104@lemmy.ca
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          5 hours ago

          I’m at one of the latter, so I feel this in my bones. I’ve watched what should have been an innocent config change snowball into a pair of VM clusters shitting back and forth for 2 hours. Implemented strict change control that day. Kind of a pain, but the team learned a lot that day!

        • balance8873@lemmy.myserv.one
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          11 hours ago

          One of those is Amazon prior to chatgpt, the other is Amazon a few weeks back.

    • Mark with a Z@suppo.fi
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      23 hours ago

      Day off while they prepare to fire you, maybe

  • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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    23 hours ago

    Do it and I destroy your backend.

    Have you dropping tables like you’re Mankind in 1999.

    • wookiepedia@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Sick reference

      • tomiant@programming.dev
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        29 minutes ago

        Out of control.

  • MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca
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    23 hours ago

    Narrator: The deployment proved that it wasn’t a typo after all.

    • KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      23 hours ago

      Adderall

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        The deployment proved it wasn’t a typo adderall.

      • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@reddthat.com
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        21 hours ago

        Adderall deployment proved that tit wasn’t a type after all.

        • Sundray@lemmus.org
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          18 hours ago

          Adderall (strongly typed)

  • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    Anyone else find that praying hands emoji very condescending when used like that? I would destroy the backend DB if they tried to send me that!

    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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      13 hours ago

      They beg you like they beg god for something for free.

    • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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      15 hours ago

      Namaste🙏

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      I worked with someone who used them as “thank you”.

      it was…a challenge.

      • tempest@lemmy.ca
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        7 hours ago

        It’s the first emoji that comes to if I type tha…

        So I use it like that

      • Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz
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        16 hours ago

        What’s wrong with that? It’s a common gesture for thanks in many places irl… that’s the first thing i think when I see that emoji, and I’m from a western culture…

        • tomiant@programming.dev
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          27 minutes ago

          In my culture it means go fuck yourself.

        • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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          16 hours ago

          I think pray, because that’s what you have to type to use it.

          • merc@sh.itjust.works
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            You can also type “thanks” or “please”. Both of those show the hands together emoji.

    • blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works
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      15 hours ago

      I just imagined it’s like a buddhist “peace be with you” kind of thing

  • itkovian@lemmy.world
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    17 hours ago

    I felt that in my gut.

  • Voytrekk@sopuli.xyz
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    1 day ago

    I’ll remember to keep that for the first nice day in Spring.

  • Kyrgizion@lemmy.world
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    24 hours ago

    Confused the “deploy to PROD” with “deploy to staging” again huh?

    • kopasz7@sh.itjust.works
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      23 hours ago

      Oh, look at Mr Many Environments here, he’s too good to test on prod like the rest of us do.

      • MNByChoice@midwest.social
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        22 hours ago

        Every groups have a “testing”. Some also have a “production”.

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