I put a woopie cushion on my teachers chair. It broke her. It went from what i was hopping to be funny to being in the principal office. She went mad and instantly shrank into myself while the entire class pointed at me.It only got worse from there. All that for a woopie cushion

I already knew how to read when going to the first year of school. My parents were worried I’d be bored during classes, so they convinced the teacher to allow me to bring a book to read for myself when I’m done with any reading work. She probably thought I’d bring some fairy tales, and agreed.

When the class came, I finished the reading exercise and pulled out the book I was allowed to. It wasn’t fairy tales though - it was a dinosaur encyclopedia. The teacher got very angry and took the book away, as “it’s not an appropriate reading material for a first grader”.

I refused to speak with the teacher for the rest of the semester.

I sold blow-pops (suckers surrounding bubblegum on a stick) for $0.25 in junior high (1986?) [bought them at PriceClub now CostCo?]. Chaos ensued on the playground. My mother got called to the Asst. Princ. office.

Infamously hated student dean at an otherwise pretty normal HS was known for sitting in her office and watching students on the security cameras so she could dole out punishment for incredibly minor stuff like being late to class, running in the halls, and covering your face (was seen as an attempt to thwart the cameras or security) etc.

However, she was visibly in a more angry mood when on physical rotation like watching the Cafeteria during lunch, so people would avoid any interaction with her like the plague.

Anyways, one day during a very cold winter lunch one of my friends entered into the cafeteria from outside with his hood up, hands in pockets, and visibly covered in snow from walking outside. Rest of our friend group was already sitting at our usual table as he’s rolling up. Student dean has already clocked him and within maybe 10 seconds of entering the building, is asked to remove his hood.

Buddy replies with “oh sorry, I was cold”

We watched as the dean proceeded to tear into him for “talking back” and “insubordination” before he got hauled off to the main office and was given a weeks worth of after school detention.

Funniest thing was we were warned about the atrocious Dean by the previous year’s Valedictorian. No one liked her.

This isn’t my story it was a friend, but I think about it often and it still makes me laugh. It was high school English class and the teacher asked “does anybody know the famous quote from ‘The Elephant Man’?” and without missing a beat my friend put his arm in front of his face like and elephant trunk and made a loud and accurate elephant noise while slowly waving his arm up. Everybody thought it was hilarious except for the teacher who sent him to sit in the hall for the rest of the period. So he’s sitting out there and 5 minutes later the door opens and another kid comes out and my friend is like “what did you do wrong?” and the other kid goes “I couldn’t stop laughing”

Which is fucking great. Gets me every time.

Eating chips in a class we were allowed to eat in. Other kids were eating when I got sent to the office and I got in more trouble for pointing that out. Painting my nails. I was told to stop, asked to go to the bathroom, and got in trouble when I came back with my nails fully painted. And in a situation where the whole class was told to be silent, but the teacher refused to look at any of us, I noticed someone (who was the type that never got in trouble) was pretty impatiently waving her hand around, so I told the teacher she needs something and was sent to the office. OH now that I’m writing I’m thinking of more. Some kid groped me in the middle of the cafeteria and I was scolded for pushing the issue because “he’s a good kid who was just “being silly” and these kinds of things can really follow someone ya know.” He later spent time in prison. And there was a girl who was a huge bully that I told to stop picking on someone who was afraid of getting hurt (I truly had a death wish, the girl was 3x my size) and she threatened to jump me in the bathroom. She harrassed me for weeks and I definitely aggravated the situation because I refused to be intimidated. I’d announce when I was going to the bathroom, tell her nows your chance etc. I was asked to leave her alone bc if she were to get into another fight she would be sent to juvie. She is currently in prison. Really backwards logic in that school

I was caught making out with my girlfriend.

I should mention that this was an all-girl Catholic cult school in the early 80s. Not only was I expelled but my parents moved us to a different country because they were so ashamed.

Throwing a dime onto an empty stage

I absent-mindedly hummed the theme to Coach (a 90s sitcom) during class in which the teacher was a football coach… He sent me to detention for it.

Calling my teacher a dog after he called me a horse. This is no joke, my mother was called in.

In the sixth grade I got my first detention ever because I picked up my baseball cap.

We were on a field trip and we went to visit some museum in the capital by train. While we walked back to the train station, our teacher stated that “no one is to step out of the train before her permission or they will get detention”. I was the last to get on the train and my cap hit the backpack of the classmate in front of me and fell out of the train doors. I instinctively turned around, leaned out whist holding onto a safety bar and picked my cap. And stepped back on board.

I was a calm kid and had never broken any school rules or gotten into any trouble whatsoever. So when my classmates saw me putting one feet outside the train they simply flipped: “TEACHER, LORINDÓL STEPPED OUT OF THE TRAIN! YOU’RE GETTING A DETENTION!”

I was utterly dumbfounded. My “friends” had betrayed me and the teacher was approaching and looking angry. With tears in my eyes I explained what had happened and reminded her that we still had more than 10 minutes until the train doors would even close. Her face went from angry to sad and she silenced my heckling classmates with a few strict words. She told me that we would discuss this when we were back at school.

When we got back, everyone else got to go home and the teacher asked me to our classroom with her. “Lorindól, I’m very sorry. I have to give you detention because you did step out of the train, even if it was for all the right reasons. I understand you acted instinctively and did not mean to break any rules. But I must keep my word or it will lose it’s meaning. As stupid as this sounds, the purpose of this detention is not to punish you. It’s purpose is to show the others that my word is the law in this classroom, with no exceptions. I hope you can understand why I must do this.” I thought about it for a while and said that I did.

When I told my parents about the detention my dad couldn’t stop laughing. “You finally get a detention and it’s for NOTHING!”

Mom was so angry that she wanted to call the teacher and make her call the detention off. I managed to talk her out of it and didn’t hold any grudge against the teacher. I learned a lot about the world of adults that day.

I got detention multiple times for reading in class before they basically gave up. I was getting good grades and paying just enough attention to the classes I read through that if called on I could participate, but it was boring and slow, and books kept me from being disruptively bored. I barely stopped reading all day and would burn through 1,000 page books in under 2 days (the public library gave me a second card to use for inter library loan to not use my normal checkout slots on shipping days :). Thing is, detention didn’t have a no reading rule, because in a school that would be silly, so I’d just… keep reading. So they called my mom who was like yep, they just read all day here too, so they stopped trying to punish me for it. My English teacher had the right idea and didn’t care if I read the assigned books or paid attention in class as long as I did the vocab tests and wrote up a one-page report on every single book I finished. Far more work, but much better suited to what I was going to do anyway.

I also got in trouble multiple times for wearing absolutely nothing other than pj pants (like yea shirts and stuff too but never jeans). I contested them giving me detention for it, and got off because it wasn’t an official rule in the handbook, something I’d explicitly checked prior to my wardrobe shift to comfort and giving no fucks. They changed the handbook the next year and I switched to solid color athletic pants in obnoxiously bright colors, and I again got in trouble, and contested, and same thing got off because it wasn’t explicitly mentioned.

Wanting to learn.

I was apart of a very orthodox religious school who’s main appeal is their dual curriculum setup. They start with judaics at 7 am with secular studies from 12:40 pm to 5 pm and then more judaics from 7 - 9 pm. I never had a proper education and when I went to the secular education principle to be put back into arithmetic, she got quite pissed at me and mocked me for even wanting this. I went on a complete and utter fucking tangent not going to school until they fucking put me in arithmetic.

After I somehow graduated in 2022 (with absolutely fucking nothing – no diploma or anything) i went to community college and finished multivariate calculus from arithmetic within 2 years span. Shit I even graduated with a degree in mathematics.

I recently went back and started substituting there during my winter break off of university, and it has effectively become so fucking shitty that while I was subbing, the entire day was spent drawing… fucking drawing.

These aren’t kindergartners, these are 6th, 7th, and 8th graders, they should be learning algebra at this point, and they’re just familiarizing themselves with exponents. The 8th grade doesn’t even have a teacher to teach fucking math.

With all that said, I sent an email to the principle implying a dillema, “either you can bring the secular program up to standard, or I will cut it” the principle never responded and I may have no choice but to send a cease and desist letter as a more formal course of action and an additional warning if they don’t cooperate.

Forced to go to a private catholic HS. Dress code for boys included collared shirts. Regularly didn’t wear one. Regularly “caught” and issued detention. By the time I left and for a couple of decades later, as I understand it, I held the record for most hours of detention (~183). Jokes on them as the detention monitor helped me with school work and gave me my first (of many) handjobs. She was a pro.

2 things.

I would get my hand hit with a ruler so I would not write with my left hand. My over 60 yr old spinster teacher said it was a sign of the devil.

Second time also involved the same batshit crazy teacher. I was outside the classroom by the windows and there was this big sheet of steel on the ground. I being a dumb kid thought it would be fun to jump up and down on it making a very large racket whilst happily jumping. Teacher comes out and starts boxing my ears screaming why did you not stop, I kept telling you from the window. All I said was it was loud.