I was caught making out with my girlfriend.

I should mention that this was an all-girl Catholic cult school in the early 80s. Not only was I expelled but my parents moved us to a different country because they were so ashamed.

Yelled “toilet” three times in the corridor, just outside of the classroom as school was ending. Ended up into nearly two hours of detention, which ended when my parents came to look for me.

Apparently the teacher had another class and forgot about the detention. I was in the first grade.

I already knew how to read when going to the first year of school. My parents were worried I’d be bored during classes, so they convinced the teacher to allow me to bring a book to read for myself when I’m done with any reading work. She probably thought I’d bring some fairy tales, and agreed.

When the class came, I finished the reading exercise and pulled out the book I was allowed to. It wasn’t fairy tales though - it was a dinosaur encyclopedia. The teacher got very angry and took the book away, as “it’s not an appropriate reading material for a first grader”.

I refused to speak with the teacher for the rest of the semester.

This isn’t my story it was a friend, but I think about it often and it still makes me laugh. It was high school English class and the teacher asked “does anybody know the famous quote from ‘The Elephant Man’?” and without missing a beat my friend put his arm in front of his face like and elephant trunk and made a loud and accurate elephant noise while slowly waving his arm up. Everybody thought it was hilarious except for the teacher who sent him to sit in the hall for the rest of the period. So he’s sitting out there and 5 minutes later the door opens and another kid comes out and my friend is like “what did you do wrong?” and the other kid goes “I couldn’t stop laughing”

Which is fucking great. Gets me every time.

Called the kid who groped me in music class (and also liked to harass and try to dry-hump my friend at recess) a baboon, and before that I moved from the chair onto the floor so he couldn’t touch my ass with his feet, but the teacher of course bitched at me for that. Fun times. (:

Eating chips in a class we were allowed to eat in. Other kids were eating when I got sent to the office and I got in more trouble for pointing that out. Painting my nails. I was told to stop, asked to go to the bathroom, and got in trouble when I came back with my nails fully painted. And in a situation where the whole class was told to be silent, but the teacher refused to look at any of us, I noticed someone (who was the type that never got in trouble) was pretty impatiently waving her hand around, so I told the teacher she needs something and was sent to the office. OH now that I’m writing I’m thinking of more. Some kid groped me in the middle of the cafeteria and I was scolded for pushing the issue because “he’s a good kid who was just “being silly” and these kinds of things can really follow someone ya know.” He later spent time in prison. And there was a girl who was a huge bully that I told to stop picking on someone who was afraid of getting hurt (I truly had a death wish, the girl was 3x my size) and she threatened to jump me in the bathroom. She harrassed me for weeks and I definitely aggravated the situation because I refused to be intimidated. I’d announce when I was going to the bathroom, tell her nows your chance etc. I was asked to leave her alone bc if she were to get into another fight she would be sent to juvie. She is currently in prison. Really backwards logic in that school

Infamously hated student dean at an otherwise pretty normal HS was known for sitting in her office and watching students on the security cameras so she could dole out punishment for incredibly minor stuff like being late to class, running in the halls, and covering your face (was seen as an attempt to thwart the cameras or security) etc.

However, she was visibly in a more angry mood when on physical rotation like watching the Cafeteria during lunch, so people would avoid any interaction with her like the plague.

Anyways, one day during a very cold winter lunch one of my friends entered into the cafeteria from outside with his hood up, hands in pockets, and visibly covered in snow from walking outside. Rest of our friend group was already sitting at our usual table as he’s rolling up. Student dean has already clocked him and within maybe 10 seconds of entering the building, is asked to remove his hood.

Buddy replies with “oh sorry, I was cold”

We watched as the dean proceeded to tear into him for “talking back” and “insubordination” before he got hauled off to the main office and was given a weeks worth of after school detention.

Funniest thing was we were warned about the atrocious Dean by the previous year’s Valedictorian. No one liked her.

Got a negative report because some students were being loud in the corridor before the teacher came in. I (and a few others) were doing my homework, but the entire class got punished 🙃 If I had more courage back then, I would have marched straight to the assistant head’s office and refused to get it signed by my mum. It was only 5 points, but I hate when quiet people minding their own business get unfairly blamed because they happened to be in the same group as those causing chaos.

I put a woopie cushion on my teachers chair. It broke her. It went from what i was hopping to be funny to being in the principal office. She went mad and instantly shrank into myself while the entire class pointed at me.It only got worse from there. All that for a woopie cushion

I sold blow-pops (suckers surrounding bubblegum on a stick) for $0.25 in junior high (1986?) [bought them at PriceClub now CostCo?]. Chaos ensued on the playground. My mother got called to the Asst. Princ. office.

Throwing a dime onto an empty stage

On 9/11 we were told something bad was happening in the US, but no details. The teachers decided there would be no class for the rest of day, instead we’d have in-class recess until school ended. We were not informed about what was actually going on, just told to play.

I got in trouble for having fun while playing, because it was disrespectful.

Me and another kid got detention for fighting.

At my house.

On a Saturday.

I asked my French teacher what a comment he’d written at the bottom of one of my test papers said, because I couldn’t read it.

Apparently it said: “Your handwriting is atrocious.”

He refused to believe I wasn’t taking the piss out of him and I ended up having to ‘explain myself’ to the head.

We discovered our teacher had a secret water bottle that was actually full of alcohol and called her out on it. She couldn’t write us up for anything ‘official’ but we were suddenly getting written up for dozens of incredibly ridiculous things.

I got written up for looking bored in class.