No need to name names or sources.
Mine has to be some dude that insisted that advertising is a “30,000 year old technology”
That all small business owners are thieves and out to scam their customers - This was part of someone’s argument defending big box stores.
I mean I kind of assume all business owners are, though small business owners don’t have that shit baked in like megacorps.
Thinking there’s such a thing as “non-political”
I took the most diarrhoeal of diarrhoeal shits this morning. I’d like to see you make this political.
Easy! Why do you think it happened? Inadequate food regulation? Underfunded healthcare? Insufficient regulation of pollutants that can impact health and cause chronic disease?
I don’t know your individual circumstances, but given the state of the world right now, I’d bet it’s a combination of all three.
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I got called a fascist a couple weeks ago because I suggested that a generative AI model shouldn’t need to do tons of extra math to perform math since it’s already literally a computer.
I’m on here enough they all blur together. Maybe that makes me the idiot.
Homeopathy… Oh boy, my mom believes in it. As well as crystals with special powers.
I fucking hate this.
Especially when they basically self-hypnosis themselves into the placebo affect and swear that their magic powdered crystal enema can fix everything.
There are some rocks with special powers. Like uranium, Plutonium, etc.
Yes, but those are dirty, brutish science rocks. Not special coloured crystals with the powers of emotional healing™, protection against negative auras™ or unseen life™, and the power to give a room or a house a positive atmosphere™.
You know, the kind that those doctors (who totally know nothing at all!) don’t want you to know about because it’ll put them out of business.
I use very nice quartz in my daily life, and if they would have cracks or so my day would definitely be ruined
Replace them with colored glass for a week and see if anything happens. Then you can publish your results in Crystals Weekly if they work, or one of the science ones if they don’t.
Don’t forget “promoting wellness”.
I appreciate that we’re past the days when they could make specific claims and get away with it, though.
I once got accused of having a corporate shill account after explaining how coupons work.
Man was whingeing about paying full price for Domino’s and got pissed at me when I pointed out they didn’t use the 2 for 7 deal that takes up half their homepage.
Some people just can’t admit they fucked up XD
You can’t say you like literally any product on the internet otherwise people call you a corporate shill. It’s frustrating because people sometimes like things…that’s just the nature of life in general. Sometimes you like something that was made by a company and not just already existing in nature…
Reminds me though…I recently got called a “Russian bot” by someone on Lemmy recently. I was super confused because the content of the conversation had nothing to do with Russia or the war or Russian viewpoints or anything. It was so out of left field that I had no idea what they were talking about.
Someone called me a rapist for saying that I’ve choked women during sex. Consenting, adult women.
Please don’t choke people during sex even consenting people. If you need the sensation just put your hands on their collarbone and don’t actually cut off their windpipe.
After reading some kink books that give detailed instructions about how to suspend people, to give people piecing, fake cutting people as well as convince your sub that you have a loaded gun in their mouth with the disclaimer about how dangerous choking is really puts in perspective. There are tools to safely cut off air supply don’t choke someone
When I say “choke”, I mean I lock my fingers in a grasping position and lift up against their jaw. It’s simulated choking. I’m well aware of the danger in cutting off blood flow to the brain.
TIL.
you ain’t a rapist, but you are putting them in danger breath play is incredibly dangerous
Just ask David Carradine. Although, I’m still not convinced it was suicide.
I’m aware, and I know how to simulate choking without harming the person.
if done properly with good technique it’s not that risky. you need to trust your partner, have good communication (including both verbal and nonverbal systems of consent), and have the awareness to monitor your partner’s physical state while doing the deed.
breathplay is edgeplay but imo it’s one of the safer forms of edgeplay
You should have sent them a link to kink.com it would blow their minds.
Sure, only their minds, lol.
Hmmmm.
So what does it mean if I enjoy practicing hojojutsu on my consensually non-consenting partner…?
That using 100% free and open source software is more important than actually getting your work done.
In a thread about Affinity Photo where someone insisted that we should all use gimp and just not edit photos if gimp doesn’t have the features we need rather than asking Serif to port their software to Linux.
Also in several threads about migrating from Windows to Linux where every missing or complicated feature was brushed away with “just get used to not being able to do it, even if it’s critical to your workflow”.
It’s always good to use FOSS where possible.
If it isn’t possible for you, then don’t. Perhaps try advocating for the FOSS alternatives to be better and drive up competition, forcing the software you do use to innovate.
That is 10,000% people who don’t do creative work especially professionally. I am fine with gimp and darktable versus anything Adobe/paid but I also barely use them lol. I would be back off Linux in a heartbeat if I honestly couldn’t use something I needed even though I prefer it.
Medical work, too. Several exam machines only work with Windows. I’ve heard once that “wine’s pretty good nowadays”, which completely ignores the detail that it isn’t tested with said equipment and its drivers.
Anything related to engineering, whether civil or mechanical, also goes with either Windows or Mac, because the free CAD options don’t hold a candle to AutoCAD and others.
Lastly, there’s no FOSS alternative to completely replace Microsoft Active Directory, so offices where 90% of the work is done on the web browser won’t bother because they’ll be losing control over individual machines.
There’s so much focus on “me” and “freedom” that they often forget there’s a whole damn world of different needs around them.
I agree with this, outside of bs windows throws if you change the motherboard. Desktop Linux stability reminds me of Windows 7 levels of OS stability. Great for most, not for mission critical.
With that said i feel you are being overtly critical to FOSS CAD software. I use FreeCAD in a professional setting and it is extremely stable, and for my use case it is as capable with no missing features. Yes the software isn’t beginner friendly, but I honestly found it made my designs more accurate since it had more constraints for sketches.
What were you using BEFORE FreeCAD if it has MORE sketch constraints?? Man, I found it so limiting compared to NX. Especially the sketching. And surfacing appeared to be basically nonexistent. Maybe I’m too spoiled with NX, but I dont think I could function for even a day on FreeCAD. It’s worse than SolidWorks (and I hate SolidWorks). I really, really wanted to like it. I even gave it a second chance when 1.0 dropped.
Fusion 360 and before that Google Sketchup
Ah, ok. I’ve been using NX since it was still Unigraphics, so I am admittedly biased. I haven’t tried any of the newer things like Fusion or Sketchup. Might I ask what industry you use FreeCAD for at a professional level? Just curiosity. I’m automotive interiors tooling, so I’m pretty dependent on strong surfacing tools. Lots of A-surface stuff.
Also, how would you model this up in FreeCAD? This took me about 15 minutes in NX, with one sketch and some offset curves. I was making a 3D printed tag for my daughter.
I tried for over two hours in FreeCAD, but only got this far. I could not extrude individual bodies from one sketch, I had to make separate sketches for each shape. Offset curves didn’t appear to be a thing, and I couldn’t find any form of synchronous modeling tools. So, making those raised outlines was a whole other challenge. I ended up having to extrude a sheet taller than the main body, then thicken it. I couldn’t figure out how to select face edges for use in other commands, either. I ended up giving up.
I could go on for days about the problems with medical devices. I write software for one of those at my day job and as much as our team would love to port the software to something other than Windows, that would be a logistical nightmare.
The thunderbolt connection alone can break because of a thousand factors, even on the exact combination of hardware and operating system it was tested with. Processing of medical images is often very GPU-heavy which gives us the same problems as with CAD software.
Even if you get all the technical problems out of the way, medical devices need to be certified before you’re allowed to use them for diagnostics. This often includes an exact specification of the platform you run the software on. If you just take something that’s certified for “Windows 10 between 20H2 and 22H2, Intel or AMD CPU, device driver version 8.1.23” and try to run it on Wine, I would expect the American FDA, German TÜV and Chinese NMPA to fight over who gets to kick your door in first. It might be possible to get a certification for a Linux version but probably only for one specific combination of distribution, display server and desktop environment.
CAD options also flow over to the whole GPU debate as well. Yes, Nvidia’s company practices are awful. Yes, I’d love to have more options. But this doesn’t change that most of the heavyweight CAD options out there don’t play well with non-Nvidia GPUs.
I’d love it if there were FOSS / GPU-agnostic CAD options. But until then, focusing on what works is important, y’know?
I’d call this political as well
One of the first argument I’ve got myself into was returning the shopping cart to the designated spot. This person was replying to like 5 people at once justifying why they don’t always return the cart, because the weather is hot and the corral is far, etc. while we disapproved.
Got some reddit argument PTSD from that lol
The shopping cart argument is a great place to start managing the human race. And I don’t mean in a binary manner - let’s just start with those who never bother returning the cart. To a startlingly large majority, they tend to demonstrate traits that are wholly incompatible with a polite and empathetic society.
I didn’t think not returning a trolly was something worth defending 😂.
The only defence is “I’m a dickwad”. And I’d accept that if they owned it and we could verbally abuse them for being a dick, for only like 10 minutes after every episode.
Maybe if you’re severely mobility-impaired, but then you would probably have a device to assist you, so it still shouldn’t happen…
They weren’t defending that, the argument was whether someone who doesnt return a trolley is a bad person or not. Some people argued it was a trivial thing that meant nothing either way, some argued it meant they were evil, and some argued in the middle somewhere.
it’s a low stakes indicator.
someone who doesn’t return their cart isn’t automatically a bad person, but rather is more likely to be a bad person than someone who does return their cart.
people are lazy and in a hurry, so will often not say the full long version, and this applies to many things people often say. People then get “um actually” about it because the short version is technically wrong.
I suspect that person would also justify littering in order to “ensure street cleaners don’t lose their jobs”
Life, which you so nobly serve, comes from destruction, disorder and chaos. Take this empty glass. Here it is, peaceful, serene and boring. But if it is [Pushes glass off table] destroyed…
Robot cleaners move to clean broken glass
Look at all these little things. So busy now. Notice how each one is useful. What a lovely ballet ensues, so full of form and color.
Now, think about all those people that created them. Technicians, engineers, hundreds of people who’ll be able to feed their children tonight so those children can grow up big and strong and have little teeny weeny children of their own, and so on and so forth. Thus, adding to the great chain…of life.
I started an argument like that once. I made a joke about how there is literally always at least one person who defends not putting the cart back.
I don’t put the cart back because the workers at my grocery store keep telling me not to
To be fair I walk with a limp and a cane and hobbling back to my car is more of a pain then just popping the front of the cart up and hitching it on the planters. So it doesn’t roll into someone.
The workers there know me well and I show up 10 mins before closing on my way to work every day to get a snack for work.
Yeah I think that pretty clearly falls under extenuating circumstances
Only reason to not put it back is when you don’t wanna fight the homeless person bringing it back for you to keep the deposit coin.
Or when you’re drunk, going downhill with friends, crash and total it and take it home to make a grill out of it.
Lmao I think I remember that one! Big Cart has a network of Lemmy shills, trust no one. 🕵♂️
I used to not take my cart in, but I worked at Walmart at the time and pushed carts for them when needed. I didn’t mind doing it all, and didn’t care where anyone left their carts. Now that I’ve been at a better job for a while I put them up. Don’t want to be out of touch with Cary pushing.
Shopping cart theory strikes again
Skee boo wee CART NARC 🚨
One that I read on Mastodon:
Every bad thing about commercial software is the programmers’ fault. Even if it was something that management decided and the programmer fought against it and lost. They claimed you should rather risk losing your job than accepting an inconvenience for your user. Weird take but okay. Then they started comparing software engineers to soldiers “just following orders” during the holocaust. That’s where I blocked them. Cherry on top: they have “if you want to hire me as a software engineer, message me” in their bio. I wonder why nobody wants to hire them…
I mean I get where they’re coming from but that’s just pushing it so far.
Sounds like something management would say
What kind of idiot can’t see the difference between “I’m going to implement this stupid feature that no one wants because my boss says I have to” and “I’m going to murder Jews because my boss says I have to”?
I guess there’s a parallel if you deliberately signed up for a job enshittifying things, although the difference of degree is obviously large. And OP was being really weird and aggro about it.
(Camp guard was a cush assignment relative to the front, you had to work for it)
Even Nathan Poe would be amazed at the speed that that devolved into nazi comparisons
I think you mean Mike Godwin. Poe’s Law is about satire being hard to distinguish actual extremist views.
Edit: I really wanted to add a joke about Ward Cunningham but couldn’t find a good way to phrase it.
Hmm.
“And there you go. As always, posting the wrong information gets you the real stuff (which, to be clear, is Ward Cunningham’s law)”
Ward Cunningham, creator of Calvin & Hobbes?
Bruh.
Everyone knows that was Jim Davis
No, that’s the creator of Heathcliff
Ops, good catch, I mixed them up.
Once knew someone who was convinced that Rage Against the Machine was a white supremacist band.
Because they liked them or because they didn’t like them?
They were trying to convince me to not listen to them. I think about this every time I listen to them.
That’s impressive. Normally, it’s media-illiterate rightwingers who like RAtM because they aren’t listening to the lyrics. Not the other way around.
that’s political I guess
Whatever the hell this conversation was:
Transcript:
Recessa, ↑4 ↓1: That’s completely idiotic, production exist because there’s demand for it.
commie, ↑1 ↓4: I think you understand that milk is produced as part of the mammalian reproductive cycle. can you describe the causal steps between demanding milk and it’s production?
friendlymessage, ↑3 ↓2: Do you think dairy cattle just randomly spawns on the planetary surface?
commie, ↑1 ↓3: do you think there’s a direct causal link between drinking milk and more being produced?
friendlymessage, ↑3: Are you fucking with me?
commie, ↑2 ↓3: no. I’m trying to illustrate that markets are not governed by natural law; they are populated by irrational actors.
friendlymessage, ↑2 ↓1: Yeah, but they’re not as irrational as you are and producing milk costs money. If there’s no market, they will stop because they are not fuckin lunatics and they don’t have infinite resources
commie, ↑2 ↓2: milk was farmed before markets existed. there is no reason to believe that will ever stop.
friendlymessage, ↑3 ↓1: That… must be the dumbest discussion I’ve had in a while. Please read through your comments tomorrow when you’re sober
commie, ↑1 ↓1: I’ve been sober all day.
friendlymessage, ↑1: Okay, whatever you say
commie, ↑1 ↓2: everything I’ve said is true. you’re objecting to reality, and being pretty shitty about it to me.
friendlymessage, ↑2: No, you’re just making a no sensical argument at all. Milk was farmed from dairy cattle because it was consumed by humans. It’s simple supply and demand. There is no rational argument at all that if mankind stopped consuming milk, it would still be farmed. Why would any farmer go through the effort to upkeep cows and keep them impregnanted to make them produce milk if they cannot trade it or won’t consume it? Yes, humans have free will but they won’t produce stuff with very high effort just for fun. Except maybe very sick minds that just enjoy animal cruelty. And you won’t elaborate what your actual point is anyway.
Also, not that it matters, but you’re arguing that dairy farming existed before the market is simply wrong. There has been trade between human civilizations long before we started domesticating animals.
Was there a vegan angle to this, or what?
Having read through the other comments I think this is the winner. This person needs to read a book. What a wild hill to die on.
I remember this one. And I remember being fucking incensed at the level of abject stupidity it involved.
by far the best here
Unfortunately, it fails the thread, as it is political.
how though
They are arguing about market fundamentals, which means at least one of them is actually arguing “capitalism bad”, which is political.
The very basics of dairy cows being an artificial result of ingrained demand… is too simple to be political.
Even a pure communist designed and ran economy would have to deal with supply and demand, and would almost certainly also produce dairy cows…
Average Lemmy economist.
There are legitimate reasons not not want to use or not be able to use Linux.
Calling the very real privacy issues presented by windows as a “conspiracy theory” is not one of them.
Also these people are delusional. They don’t understand why the steam deck is popular because quote “the main appeal of PC Gaming is modding and using a Keyboard and Mouse.” Which is a bold claim because I thought the point was having better control over what you play instead of hoping Microsoft, Nintendo, and PlayStation release those games on chosen console.
Do these people have an idea how many Stardew Valley Clones I can play on PC that will never touch an Xbox?
I seem to already have it blocked
went there and down-voted everything
If you sort by top, there are some quite funny ones.
But some of the posts are hilarious lmao
I use Mint btw
wow the ratio on those posts
And it’s not even satire, the dude generally has a hate boner for Linux.
I remember him somehow managing to get banned by his autoban-bot on that community
Wow, are we the baddies? This guy must have a really bad time in the Linux communities.
Kinda unironically: yes.
Linux is great for some use cases and at least decent for most others but what I’ve experienced in some Linux communities made me understand why people don’t feel welcome. In a thread literally titled “Help me like desktop Linux” that listed a few things I was struggling with, I got hit with a bunch of “you’re an idiot for not using the exact same distro that I like”, “works on my machine” and “you want the wrong things”. Even as someone who already had over a decade of Linux server experience, that almost made me turn around and walk away.
Yes, that’s true, sometimes bug research pointed me to the arch Linux forums, and I was like: never ever I post one of my noob questions there. But that’s not all. Its just one point of view.
The skill level differences with Linux are huge. And people that wrote great wikis are sometimes frustrated if they get asked things they already explained elsewhere.
Linux is confusing for beginners, never forget this fact and be kind.
I’m sorry you had that experience.
For some reason some Linux users are strict and preachy about it instead of treating it like a piece of software/environment just like any other.
Aside from that, it’s just good practice to be kind to others and explain things to new (and not new) users in a reasonable way.
Hopefully you find a solution that works for you (for whatever OS you choose).
Someone was trying to say the Van Halen’s song “Jump” was about suicide. Despite being presented with an interview with David Lee Roth (who wrote the song) explaining what the song was about. Still think about that. Idk why. Maybe because it was like one of those conversations you have with an edgy emo kid in highschool and realize they are full of shit. Some weird nostalgia I guess
It is a song influenced by seeing a report about a suicidal jumper, but repurposing the idea into a positive one. Basically, it is saying that instead of a suicide jump someone should take a leap of faith and improve things.
People fixate on certain lyrics and kinda ignore the rest of the song.
I knew someone who swore “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen was a dirty song because two lines could be interpreted as innuendo.
“Hallelujah” has an overt reference to the story of David & Bathsheba in the Bible, which is a story about a king watching a woman bathe and then sending her husband into an unwinnable battle so he could steal her from him.
Mixed with references to Samson and Delilah
But wait! There’s more!
Cohen is reputed to have written between 80[7] and 180[8] draft verses for “Hallelujah”—a number affected by having many versions of the same line.[9] He claimed 150 draft verses, substantiated by his notebooks containing manifold revisions and additions, and by contemporary interviews.[10] In a writing session in New York’s Royalton Hotel, Cohen is famously said to have been reduced to sitting on the floor in his underwear, filling notebooks, banging his head on the floor.
I know this because I love that song and was obsessed with it for a year or two.
Yeah, which was its own level of toxic, but maybe doesn’t have the super gross power imbalance?
“Hallelujah” is a song about sex — but it’s not dirty sex, it’s holy sex.
I wouldn’t say “holy.” David’s actions with Bathsheba were explicitly not holy.
Hell, I can make an innuendo with the word innuendo.
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Not going to argue about the general kid stance. Just about the “shitty parent” bit, which is also de main complain.
There are two tiers of good/bad parent. There’s the objective one, are the kids being hurt? No, then you are a good parent. Pretty easy.
But there’s a more complex one. Are your education as a parent helping to produce an adult with a series of determined characteristics? This is a lot more complex. As there’s no universal agree on what a good adult is so there cannot be a good agree on which parenting is good because it produces these type of adults.
I’d would assume that when people say “you are a shitty parent” they would me mostly saying “your education will produce an adult that I do not consider desirable in my idea of a society”. That’s subjective. Some people prefer some traits and other prefer others.
As in this general example if someone sees a kids making a lot of noise and their parents not correcting them they may say “that’s a shitty parent”. Do they think they are hurting the kids? No. They’ll just probably think that those kids will grow up to be noisy adults and they don’t like noisy adults, so they think that’s not a desirable education for a kid in their society. Nothing more. I wouldn’t take those “you are a shitty parent” in any other way.
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It’s not appropriate. But don’t take it personal.
I am sensitive to noises, so I can empathize very well with people who suffer when noisy/kids people are around. It can be really debilitating and stressful. And frustrating, as there’s usually no control over that situation. So it’s usual for people to vent the extreme frustration generated by shit talking.
Maybe they have a neighbor with noisy kids and they are suffering every day because of it (as it is my case for instance). So being rude to strangers who may not have special concerns if kids/people are noisy or not is a way to vent. Not a good way, but it’s natural in most people to vent their frustration with people they assume (correctly or not) are related to their suffering.
What I mean is that noise sensibility can be a very serious issue to some people. Empathy and compassion is needed in this cases when defending anything related with noisemaking.
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depending on context, I could easily support either side of this argument.
on the one hand, people overreact too much.
on the other hand, children are often unpleasant to be around.
On a third hand, people in general are often unpleasant to be around, children are just different kinds of unpleasant.
Setting also matters. Playing and screaming in a park? probably fine. playing and screaming in a library? those kids have bad parents.
Sir, where did you get a third hand. Grave robbing and necromancy is illegal around here.
Tho I do very much agree with what you have on said third hand.
Sir, where did you get a third hand
uuhhhhh, glory to the four-armed emperor?
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Divorced of context, I 100% agree. However, I don’t think you’ve engaged with my point. There are settings in which it is simply NOT ok for children to be playing and screaming, full stop. “but what about-” No, you’ve changed the setting and now we’re not talking about the same thing anymore.
EDIT to include the comment I’m replying to:
Libraries have sections for kids man. Most people adhere to it. You (Royal you) can’t let theoreticals/rare cases inform your feelings on these issues.
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But who ever said kids should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want?
You did. Not directly of course, but a reader can easily tell that this is your opinion based on your interactions with me and others here in this thread.
Either that or you don’t want to be held accountable for the actions of your children.
EDIT to include the entire comment I’m replying to:
But who ever said kids should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want? This feels a bit strawman to me. No one is advocating for that, certainly not me.
Kids are going to be on your public transit, your airplanes, on sidewalks, at pizza shops, etc. and people need to not just accept but embrace them. They are a part of your community, just like any other person. If being an inconvenience or annoying was an acceptable reason for people to reject you, then we’d have a lot bigger issues (than we already have) with the elderly, people with autism, people in wheel chairs, etc. No one gets mad when the bus takes an extra bit of time to help someone with a disability get settled. Yes an infant may cry or scream in public. They do that.
Well apparently it’s not that easy to tell because that is not what I believe at all. So are you going to actually ask me what I think are you going to keep smugly telling me what my opinions are as a parent?
Actually don’t bother responding unless the last word is that important to you. You clearly have an ax to grind and you’re being an asshole. Have a good one.
Well apparently it’s not that easy to tell because that is not what I believe at all. So are you going to actually ask me what I think are you going to keep smugly telling me what my opinions are as a parent?
Actually don’t bother responding unless the last word is that important to you. You clearly have an ax to grind and you’re being an asshole. Have a good one.
I genuinely laughed at this. Countdown until the above is deleted by creator? This comment exists to preserve yours.
Not just kids, a lot of adults are annoying as hell too.
But Kids should be free to learn so for me it feels like they are allowed/have the right to be annoyingBut Kids should be free to learn so for me it feels like they are allowed/have the right to be annoying
That is a fantastic perspective.
Yeah, the two are usually (though not always) correlated. Annoying adults have annoying kids that grow up to be annoying adults, and the cycle continues.
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I agree, but also I think there’s a line between “kiddo getting excited or having a hard time in a public space” vs. “this kid is being neglected by their parents in favor of phones, and/or not taught general manners and human-to-human respect” because their parents are also inconsiderate of other people.
A child having a meltdown in a grocery store, or bouncing around a park or making excited commentary at a movie theater I can easily forgive. Ignoring and letting a child run off unattended in a restaurant where a server can trip and get hurt is a problem. A kid getting antsy happens, but you also need to let them know why they should be mindful in certain environments.
That said, there needs to be more openly kid-friendly spaces in the US, since they need free space to let off energy and develop their minds freely.
Listen, I just hate kids man. It’s probably my most consistent thing since I was a kid. Fuck kids. We should just be growing adults out of a vat, it’s 2025 for fucks sake.
I have met dozens of people who have told me they hate kids throughout my life, and they have without fail been the absolute worst. I get that kids can be irritating, but hate? fuck you.
Yes. It feels like a specific kind of projection. Their subconscious reconfizes they were a shitty kid raised by a shitty parent and are still shitty people because of it and then paint that over every child because it’s what shitty people do.
Well this couldn’t be further from my truth but maybe other people are like that. I dunno. I also don’t actually hate kids, I thought my comment was evidently hyperbolic bu I guess not.
I’m being hyperbolic, if the last bit about growing people out of a vat didn’t make that clear enough.
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because I think
Americans are generally very intolerant of kids in public spaces.kids running around and screaming in a restaurant is fine, actuallyDon’t go to other threads and lie about your conversations, dude, they’re public!
I was just having a “conversation” with this guy where really all he did was lie and call me names, and now all his replies to me are deleted. Looked at his profile and he has deleted literally every previous comment. I’m guessing he does this so people can’t see how much of a liar and bad-faith commenter he is.
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I suggest you use the disengage rule.
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Ok, just wanted to let you know it is an option when interacting with our users, even if you are not a db0 user.
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Oh yeah you’re that dude who was commenting on my meme about kids being annoying in a restaurant. I didn’t feel the need to comment there because I had thought “person doesn’t realize that few people have problems with well behaved kids or understand that people know that kids OCCASIONALLY act out.”. But it looks like you’re doubling down.
First, did you see anyone complaining about kids on playgrounds? Play places at fast food restaurants? Public parks? No? That’s because those are places for kids to be running around. Restaurants where adults are trying to relax is not for kids to be running around. Full stop. There is no “but”. YOU need to teach your child that their actions affect those around them.
Secondly, YOU choose to have children and where you take them. If you take them to a place where you know they have the potential to inconvenience the people around them and they do, then you are inflicting them on others and that makes you a bad parent.
And lastly, I can’t even remember the amount of children who stayed at their table, where maybe a little louder than would be necessary but ultimately settled down, or were well behaved and well mannered. But I do remember that the parents of those children were usually well put together and maintained people who seemed to have control over their life. An unruly child who was running around the restaurant is usually a symptom and not the problem.
I didn’t see the meme, but–
YOU choose to have children and where you take them. If you take them to a place where you know they have the potential to inconvenience the people around them and they do, then you are inflicting them on others and that makes you a bad parent.
Maybe I’m missing something, but I kinda feel like that ignores the reality of how kids learn. They can’t be taught how to act at restaurants if they’re left at home for their entire childhood. We’ve got fairly well-behaved children, but it’s because they were a little bit crazy when they were younger and we disciplined them through the process. Particularly for neuro-spicy kids, they’re never going to be able to learn how to calm down unless you take them to those places, teach them how to act, and discipline them when they transgress those boundaries.
Yeah, it’s an inconvenience to others, but them being a minor inconvenience now so that they won’t be a major inconvenience when they’re adults is kind of the tradeoff you make in order to live in a reasonably well-adjusted society.
Now, if you’re talking about, like, a Michelin-starred restaurant with pristine tablecloths and no dollar signs on the menu, that’s one thing. People save up for months to have a single pleasant, quiet night at places like that, and parents need to find better ways/locations to train their kids. But if you mean Applebees or whatever, I kind of think the minor inconvenience now is worth the better-behaved adult the kids will turn into.
I think the annoying kids in restaurants stereotype we’re talking about are usually when the parents of the kids are ignoring the behavior rather than trying to teach their kids anything.
Your ideal scenario here is fine but 99% of the time when I’m super irritated at kids its because the parents are ignoring and/or downplaying the affect their kids have on other people.
Gotcha. Yeah, parents can definitely suck just as much as any other human (or, to be fair, they can just be exhausted or distracted). Though I will also note that in the cases where my kids have acted unexpectedly badly, it is notable to me that my usual nuclear threat (“we’ll just leave”) carries with it a financial penalty as well (now we have to pay for food we ordered but can’t eat), which adds an additional wrinkle to this problem; particularly for lower-income folks.
I do think that I usually have a lower tolerance for my kids’ behavior than most of the people around me do, so hopefully that’s part of what is on my side here.
You can train your kids at McDonalds. And while I’d acquiesce about Applebee’s, if alcohol is served, children shouldn’t be. Sure that may limit what you can do as a parent. But I’m sure the joys and triumphs of parenthood will outweigh the loss of having a beer while your child knocks into other customers at the restaurant.
You can train your kids at McDonalds.
Respectfully, no. That’s an entirely different scenario with entirely different norms, patterns, expectations, etc. A sit-down, table-service restaurant in a “boring” location with slow food is an entirely different experience than counter service at a fast food restaurant. You start with that, of course, but that’s definitely not where it can end.
Not to mention, there are no casual fast food places that serve vegetables. If you care about offering your kids any kind of healthy food, you have to go somewhere at least slightly more upmarket.
if alcohol is served, children shouldn’t be.
That excludes pretty much every restaurant that isn’t fast food. In some countries, that excludes even McDonald’s. It definitely excludes Applebee’s. It excludes Chuck E. Cheese, for crying out loud.
Maybe in the 90s that would’ve been a reasonable limitation, but that is far from the case today.
Sure that may limit what you can do as a parent.
Nah, I’m not worried about that even a little bit. I chose to be a parent, which means that I chose to accept certain limitations on my life while they’re still young. I don’t have any issue with that as a principle. Yes, parents are still human and should be able to exist independently of their children, and yes, some people didn’t choose to be parents (but had that choice made for them), but I don’t think that either situation is a large enough situation to be worth discussing here.
What I’m saying is that teaching and training has to happen in real situations. It doesn’t start there, no; you work on not throwing your food on the floor at home, you work on not shouting and screaming at the table at Grandma’s, you work on not running around the restaurant at McDonald’s. But once you have the basics down, you have to go out and actually work on them in the real world. That means a real restaurant, with waiters and other diners, where the food isn’t exactly what they want, and it takes “forever” to arrive. It has to be in the real world, or else it doesn’t work.
That means that your kids’ bad days are going to go out into the real world sometimes, too; and you won’t have any warning that they’re coming. They’ll just show up along with your basket of breadsticks at the pizza place, or they’ll be serving them alongside the General Tso’s chicken at the Chinese buffet.
At that point, you have three options: leave (probably not super feasible, you still have to pay for the meal and you still have to feed your kids and yourself), ignore them (this is clearly the type of parent you’re frustrated by, and I agree, but they’re far more exception than rule), or parent your way through it (which is honestly the whole point of this excursion). But the last one is the hardest, and runs the most risk of looking like ignoring if you have more than one kid and have to focus on them in turn.
I’m sure the joys and triumphs of parenthood will outweigh the loss of having a beer […]
Yeah, honestly, it does. Not all the time, but every time.
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I remember that one. It was a weird thread. We had people saying they let their kids poop on the floor, and others that only let their kids out of their cages for special occasions.
Of course, those were exaggerations of the extremes, but it got very heated.
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I would guess many people on here have done the research but have little experience with the actions necessary to conceive
Here’s a great response to any parent who gets the “You must be a shitty parent” line.
“And you ARE a shitty person”
Definitely. Only shitty people spend any time disparaging others. The self reflection required for them to understand that is the first step to not being a shitty person.
Being curmudgeonly used to carry social shame but that’s all disappeared along with the ignorant spreading their ignorance.
All symptoms of people who were never taught how to behave and haven’t taken the time to work the skill as an adult.
