How can we secure a solar eclipse induced apocalypse next time? More virgin sacrifices? Less? Virgins are quite abundant these days. We could go either way…

  • Teon@kbin.social
    0·
    6 months ago

    You have to completely unplug the sun. You can’t just walk in front of it Richard.
    FFS

  • Count Regal Inkwell@pawb.social
    0·
    6 months ago

    Because the world already ended in 2012.

    We are living in hell.

    spoiler

    (… Those are brazilian song lyrics, translated. Don’t take them TOO seriously)

  • kromem@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    6 months ago

    The students said to the teacher, “Tell us, how will our end come?”

    The teacher said, "Have you found the beginning, then, that you are looking for the end? You see, the end will be where the beginning is.

    Congratulations to the one who stands at the beginning: that one will know the end and will not taste death."

  • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
    0·
    6 months ago

    Elsewhere, there was a giant hurricane. Demons now roam the world, more than used to at least, but they mostly appear as more unfavorable people. If you run into a big dude with a chunk of iron much too large to be a sword, massive, thick, heavy and far too rough, more a chunk of iron really, he’s not a bad dude, just don’t do anything to his girl.

  • grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
    0·
    6 months ago

    What happens to the people who actually believed this? Imagine someone quitting their job because “the world is ending on Monday.” They tell all their friends and family goodbye. They stop paying bills. Then Monday rolls around and…they’re still here. Now what? Do they go beg for their job back? How do they face their friends and family again? It sounds so embarrassing.

    • exanime@lemmy.today
      0·
      6 months ago

      They’ll move on to the next conspiracy not having learned a bit from their stupid decisions… And the society they hate will continue to provide for them

      • grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
        0·
        6 months ago

        I just imagine someone trying to get their job back and their former boss laughing in their face. Maybe this is how some people become homeless (because I presume they are mentally unstable to begin with).

    • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
      0·
      6 months ago

      There was a great photo of a guy who bought into the Mayan calendar bullshit in 2012 (I think?). He’d given away or sold his home and all his stuff. In the photo, he was checking his watch while young people next to him were laughing. I imagine his life was ruined.

      But some cults just keep pushing the date back. See Millerites in USA:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Disappointment

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events

    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
      0·
      6 months ago

      According to my friend, it happened, the world ended. Now you may be wondering how I could even have this chat with him if the world ended. Not to worry, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation…

      I am not me, and he went into a different universe when the previous world had collapsed. Apparently I wasn’t so lucky, nor any of the other 8.1 Billion souls. Only he got to come here, because his original self was already dead. How I wouldn’t have remembered him dying and doing a Jesus, is beyond me…

      This all leads me to the conclusion that my friend stopped taking his meds and has been binging rick and morty again.

    • Sam_Bass@lemmy.ml
      0·
      6 months ago

      The people that do that dont typically have jobs nor pay their own bills since they livein an environment that allows them enough free time to absorb and spread such conspiratorial material

    • shrugs@lemmy.world
      0·
      6 months ago

      I wonder if there are still people living in their underground bunker believing they are the only one that survived 2000 or 2012

  • slazer2au@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    6 months ago

    ţ̵̗̱̻͇͔̻͍̾̄̽̑̊̌͌͑̒͆̈̌͊ͅr̷̡̻̺͎̱͕̼͕̜̙̎̇ͅy̶̡̧̧̜̙̻̺̪̠̻͈͙͕̼͚̾͂̓́͐͛̂ ̸̡̱̗̝̫̠̫͔̘̙͓͜͟͝ḑ̶̡̛͈̙̥̏͋̾a̶̧̛̦̳̳̐͊́͝c̷͔̳͍̭̪̺̹̺̅̑͜͜͠ͅȉ̷̫̺͎̺͔̎̋̈́̀̿̉̇͐̽̕n̴̩̬̣̤͎̦̬̮͇͊̅̄̂͗̿̅̽̇̉͐̉͑͠͡͡ͅģ̶̛͔̻̣̋̿͋̊͋̎̕̚͝ ̶͚̤̤̼̲̬͆̍͌̚t̵̩̗̘̠̤͗̾̊̅̈́ḧ̷͔̗̘̮̻̺́̈̉̆̇͗̀̌͛͘ͅe̶̡͎̱̠̽͒̄̃̊̿̕͡ ̶̢̭̻̻̰̐͐̃̏̌͂̀̍̽̇̕͝ď̵̛͔̮͓̙͈̠̪̿̈͝i̵̧̧̜̘̠̼͓̫̜͛͜ͅṟ̷͈̫̥͎̺͔̽̄̍̆̈́̔̅̄́ę̷̗̥̻̙͇̜̞̰̻͔͍̖̳̏̈́͑͜c̶͓̱̬̞̞̗̹̲͇̪̔̎ţ̶̝̺̍̒̐̾̿̈́̅̍̇͡͠͝í̷̧̻̣̪̝̙̠̮̔ǫ̶͖̜̱̻̜͇̣̫͙̹̫̻͙̖͓͗͑͒̃̃̅͘̕n̵̡̼̪͚͇͚̾͑͐̔̔̃̉̑̉̃́͌͋͌̚ͅv̴̤̗̹̦̆̈́̾̾̏̌͒̉͐̋͒̚͟͠͝ǫ̷̡̗͙̱̰͇͎̭͖͉̃͒̓́̀͗͊̀͟͟͟f̶̪̺̠̦̠̈́̈̀̆͗̐͊͡͡ ̷͎̬̼̖̹͔̓̉̊̅̓͠f̵̛͍͎̌͋̉́̏̓̌͌̉͘͝͝f̴͇̻̭̖̯͓͓͙͎̫̩̜̪̀̄̄̒͒̆̐̆̀̍̍͝͝͝͠ͅͅo̴̥̫͈͉̐̽̉͊̀͋̕ŕ̵̡̢̛͎͔͉̞̦̫̘͕̤̱̹̖̓̀̃͗̐̀́͋̕ͅͅn̵̨̧͈̬͇̫̦͙̺̮̍̌͂͊ų̷̰͓̳̻͙͖͖͉̜͕̬̤̥̪̈̈́̋̏̿̿̐͘̕͠t̶͎̰͍͎̀̍̈́̇̀̉̿̾̍́̾͊͝ͅh̵̻͉̠͔̭͖̰̯̱͕̒̍̎̊̍̇͘͘͝ ̶̛̺̞̮̥̭͈̇̀̉͐́̾̇͛̇́̽̕͝n̸̛̗̱̣̤̦̤͚̲̐̔͒̈̔̔̏̔̐͐̍e̵̛̙̯̠͕͔̹͒̄͂͒͛̓̀̃̌͐̐́x̸͕̞͖͈̑̈͋̅̋̃̓͐̚̕ṭ̷̱̀̽̓̈́̐̎̍̇͆̕͝͡ ̸̧̫̼̫͙̬̝͕͒́̿͑͂͝͝ț̸͈̲͉̰̲̭̐͘i̴̧͓̦̞̘̰̺͎̤̘̝͈̦̘͕̔̀m̸̢̛͇̞͎̰͍̘̔͐̏̋̀͂̽͘ȩ̷̢̺̹̳͖͓͈͍͇̬̖̤͈͙̀̔̅͛͑͋́͜͝.̸̖̘̓̌̾̒

  • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
    0·
    6 months ago

    They’re so ignorant that they thought that the eclipse was global and believed that it was the beginning of the biblical 3 days of total darkness that signaled the end of the world. They are so fucking horny for the end of the world and their presumed admission to heaven that they see the end everywhere and are actively trying to bring it about. That’s why they want to start a race war, and a war with Russia, and… they’re trying to CAUSE the end of the world so that they can go to heaven.

    • spittingimage@lemmy.world
      0·
      6 months ago

      I like to think of Jesus chasing them around and around the pearly gates with a whip. Biblically speaking, it’s not out of the question.

      • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
        0·
        6 months ago

        That any of those people believe that they are Christians when they don’t follow the letter and spirit of the teachings of Jesus Christ is utterly baffling.

  • spittingimage@lemmy.world
    0·
    6 months ago

    …Is it possible that when the ancient tome calls for virgin sacrifices it’s talking about sacrifices by and not of?

  • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca
    0·
    6 months ago

    If my sources are correct, we didn’t use enough aether crystals to summon Ifrit, Lord of the Inferno. My source is Final Fantasy btw.

  • pruwyben@discuss.tchncs.de
    0·
    6 months ago

    Check it out - we drill a huge hole through the moon, and put a giant magnifying glass in it. Then, next time there’s an eclipse…